INTP: the chameleon thing

[The Psychonaut]

it sometimes makes me feel like i dont have a personality of my own...

in fact, im still not sure who i am.

it does come in handy though...

[Jorge]

Originally Posted by Saboteur

What's really awkward is being around multiple people you mirror in different ways. Have you done that before?

HA!!!!!!!! Story of my life. Yes, this happens quite often. It would often come to the case that different groups of friends would meet, and they would HATE each other because of differences between them. You have no idea how many times have I heard "Ugh... why do you even talk to this person?"

I don't consider myself to be fake or a poser, but I rather think that different people serve different purposes. I have yet to find someone who I can actually have fun drinking some beers, be able to tell them romantic problems, theorize about science issues, play music with, make fun, of and feel secure with. Until I find that group of friends (which I doubt I ever will), I will keep being utilitarian about my relationships regarding social wants and needs.

I'm a huge believer of the chameleon trait in INTPs. I believe this is the reason why I have several CLOSE friends, more so than a lot of people I've met. I'm not the person who has thousands of friends in social networks, or makes friend with everyone at social gatherings. I'm the kind of person who, without any interest, will become your new best friend just because of how well am I able to mirror not only what you are, but what you want.

Creepy huh? Let's just say, I've met more than plenty of characters.

[Femme]

Originally Posted by Jorge

HA!!!!!!!! Story of my life. Yes, this happens quite often. It would often come to the case that different groups of friends would meet, and they would HATE each other because of differences between them. You have no idea how many times have I heard "Ugh... why do you even talk to this person?"

I don't consider myself to be fake or a poser, but I rather think that different people serve different purposes. I have yet to find someone who I can actually have fun drinking some beers, be able to tell them romantic problems, theorize about science issues, play music with, make fun, of and feel secure with. Until I find that group of friends (which I doubt I ever will), I will keep being utilitarian about my relationships regarding social wants and needs.

I'm a huge believer of the chameleon trait in INTPs. I believe this is the reason why I have several CLOSE friends, more so than a lot of people I've met. I'm not the person who has thousands of friends in social networks, or makes friend with everyone at social gatherings. I'm the kind of person who, without any interest, will become your new best friend just because of how well am I able to mirror not only what you are, but what you want.

Creepy huh? Let's just say, I've met more than plenty of characters.

You, sir, have clearly articulated my social role. Bravo.

I'd like to add that--on few occasions--I've acknowledged my dislike for a certain person in solitude, only to feel an impulse to genuinely 'accomodate' while in their presence. Needless to say, I can behave in a relatively thoughtless manner when I'm around others; blame it on my inner-chameleon.

[Saboteur]

Originally Posted by Femme

You, sir, have clearly articulated my social role. Bravo.

I'd like to add that--on few occasions--I've acknowledged my dislike for a certain person in solitude, only to feel an impulse to genuinely 'accomodate' while in their presence. Needless to say, I can behave in a relatively thoughtless manner when I'm around others; blame it on my inner-chameleon.

We're naturally contradictory, it seems.

[unleashthehounds]

Originally Posted by Femme

I'd like to add that--on few occasions--I've acknowledged my dislike for a certain person in solitude, only to feel an impulse to genuinely 'accomodate' while in their presence.

Normally if I decide if I dislike someone, I can't be very accommodating in there presence. Or if I find that I am, I'll reevaluate my dislike for them.

[Fernando]

Question. Me as INFJ I do that a lot. Is it uncommon for my type? Cause it is exactly what i do. I like people in which i can become the same person. I do this since i was a kid.

[Jorge]

Originally Posted by Fernando

Question. Me as INFJ I do that a lot. Is it uncommon for my type? Cause it is exactly what i do. I like people in which i can become the same person. I do this since i was a kid.

No.

I do think most people who are an N can develop this "halloween costume" trait, but they use it towards different goals. I have found that INFJs are one of the most sympathetic kinds described in INTP, and their goal towards mimicking is completely different from INTPs.

INTPs mainly use their N to explore, divide and conquer. They use this goal to analyze the exterior, and be able to penetrate an otherwise hard shell. We use this primarily to feed our thoughts and theories, and when satisfied, we will take a decision on the person. If the situation is to analyze social needs, we ask ourserlves "Is this person worth it?" "is there any benefit towards this?", and many other questions. That's our chameleon trait.

I feel that INFJs can do that too, but they don't do it to analyze, but merely as a social tool. The INFJs I've met are extremely easy to befriend because they adjust to situations really easy. They won't cause conflicts (unless that will make them look appealing). Whereas an INTP might use their Intuition to camouflage their real selves to avoid disturbance of variables and possibilities (sort of negative), and INFJ is more oriented towards being optimistic about who they are.

At least from my experience...

[Shoku]

Mimicing less than pleasant acquaintances seems just slightly off from being useful for girls in high strung social circles. Sort of like in strategy games where everyone gangs up on the person in the lead doing some inconsiderate things should help to offset accidental leads that are too strong.

I'd guess that managing the fallout from it is where it doesn't work out.

[Fernando]

Well, i really run from the conflct. :> So, guess i am INFJ. :). But, i do mimic someone to see their habits from the inside, lets say that.:)

[MaddieRaine]

Originally Posted by unleashthehounds

The mimicry is not a deliberate deception, it's kinda subconscious.

Yes, I do it as well. I usually don't notice it until after it's been done.