[INTP] my birthday + my crush

my birthday + my crush

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This is a discussion on my birthday + my crush within the INTP Forum - The Thinkers forums, part of the NT's Temperament Forum- The Intellects category; I have been hooking up with this guy, and I really like him but am not sure if he actually ...

  1. #1

    my birthday + my crush

    I have been hooking up with this guy, and I really like him but am not sure if he actually likes me or just sees me as a friend with benefits.

    I'm an INTP and I don't know what he is.

    My birthday is coming up, and I don't know many people in this town because I just moved here. I am wondering whether I should ask him to hang out for my bday, or if he is the one who is supposed to ask me out for my bday .. and if he doesn't ask me then that means he doesn't care? We talked about it a bit .. here is what was said:

    A week or so ago I mentioned that my birthday is coming up and I want to have a party but only know three people in the city, including him. He commented that I should invite them three, and they could each bring five people, and it would be a 15 person mixer and it'll be fun.

    Then this week, I asked if he has plans this weekend, because I might be going out of town next weekend for my birthday so this weekend is the last time I can hang out before I leave. He said he has plans with family this weekend and asked when I am leaving. I said Wednesday, and he said he probably can't hang out before I leave then because he has exams.

    I said it's okay. He asked where I'm going. I said I might be going out of town to visit my sister in Italy because I am scared to be out here all by myself for my birthday. But then the next day I told him that plan is cancelled because I wasn't able to find tickets. Then he said "well this town is no Italy, but I'm sure it'll still be a great birthday!"

    And that got me worried because ... I was expecting him to say something like "well if you're staying in town let's hang out!" or suggest that we do something. But he didn't suggest that, and what he said sounds more like "well have fun with whatever you end up doing" to me. So it makes me feel like he doesn't care to celebrate it with me....and that kind of hurts so I'm wondering if I should even bother asking him to hang out. I don't want to ask if he doesn't care ... :(

    What do you think about his response to me saying I'm staying in town?



  2. #2

    Someone please say something (it doesnt have to be a long response) because I am getting the urge to recklessly message him about it but I really want to get someones opinion first so that I don't make a huge mistake

    I'm trying really hard to fight the urge until I get a response on here

  3. #3

    You don't want to rush into anything. You really need to spend time as friends first. Like he said, you should try to have a fun birthday regardless of the circumstances.

  4. #4

    Quote Originally Posted by HyperHobbyist View Post
    You don't want to rush into anything. You really need to spend time as friends first. Like he said, you should try to have a fun birthday regardless of the circumstances.
    are you saying its not a good idea to hang out with him on my birthday?

  5. #5

    I'm saying you're focusing too much of your happiness on one specific possibility. It's still gonna be your birthday regardless of where you are or who you're with.
    Twichl thanked this post.

  6. #6

    Quote Originally Posted by HyperHobbyist View Post
    I'm saying you're focusing too much of your happiness on one specific possibility. It's still gonna be your birthday regardless of where you are or who you're with.
    Oh I know, this thread is more about whether he is into me, not so much about my birthday itself

  7. #7

    I can't really tell from just one conversation.

    He suggested a party idea, but that might just be helping a friend out.

    He wished you a happy birthday, but that might just be being polite.

    Do you mind me asking how old you'll be on your birthday?

  8. #8
    Unknown Personality

    ask him for his arm and take a bite on it... you'll find out whether he likes you enough.
    Tamehagane, Aridela, Twichl and 1 others thanked this post.

  9. #9

    Quote Originally Posted by HyperHobbyist View Post
    I can't really tell from just one conversation.
    Hm so you don't think the fact that he didn't offer means anything?

  10. #10

    Well, if you have the party, he's probably gonna be there. Use the opportunity to gather data.


     
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