[greenfairy026]

I am like 99% sure I am INTP, but (as I have mentioned in some of my posts) I have a constant underlying fear of rejection. From friends, potential friends, employers and potential employers, and especially lovers; even if we have had a good relationship for a really long time. I just expect that sooner or later people will discover that inside I'm really a freak and either lose interest in me or run away. I don't really need space in intimate relationships either, and if people are busy I kind of assume they don't really like me. I'm not very social though, because I kind of think not many people really want to hang out with me because they're busy when I suggest it and stuff. I mean, how do I really know?

I'm working on getting over this.

Do other INTP's have this problem (probably due to inferior Fe), or is this me acting like an INFP?

[qingdom]

Having a blooming relationship turn stagnant to the extent where the other person has the potential opportunity to say "You bore me.".... nope.. doesn't freak me out at all...

But you know that's a lie in itself.

[Ablysmal]

I am like 99% sure I am INTP, but (as I have mentioned in some of my posts) I have a constant underlying fear of rejection. From friends, potential friends, employers and potential employers, and especially lovers; even if we have had a good relationship for a really long time. I just expect that sooner or later people will discover that inside I'm really a freak and either lose interest in me or run away.

*The bolded portion is what I relate to the most*

I'm generally the same way about the fear of rejection. This fear has hindered my true from making itself known. But I am coming to the realization that you shouldn't care about what others think of you. Just show who you are, and if you find people that like you, then you have some great potential relationships at hand!

And I do think it's that dreaded Fe that blocks some progress. I don't know how others want/like to be treated, so I'm extra cautious in my interactions because I generally don't know what to do :/. This caution has prevented me from trying to interact with people who I thought wouldn't want to be "bothered" by me. I probably missed out on great relationships because of this.

[NeedsNewNameNow]

What is your enneagram type? Do you test strongly in 9?

I struggle with a lot of what you wrote. Especially with the really close friendships/relationships. IE the ones I don't need space in.
I relate it to type 9, but there is an article in the article section that says that in the grip of inferior Fe, INTPs can become 'hypersensitive to relationships' and think little things are signs the other person doesn't like them.

[The Nth Doctor]

I guess I have a fear of rejection. I don't really have trouble if I'm already good friends with someone, but I never approach new people because I assume they already have plenty of friends and they wouldn't like me.
This has pretty much been true, too.

[NeedsNewNameNow]

I also think it's a form of projection.

Because I have a hard time finding people I like, I assume that most people do and therefore most people aren't going to like me.

Because I'm bad at maintaining friendships, especially casual friendships, I assume other people are the same and therefore the good relationships are going to end as a result of the other person getting too busy for me, or easily replace me.

In reality, my really close relationships were ultimately wrecked by my neglect or my decision to leave, not the other person :/

[Hindsight]

I don't have any problems with rejection when it comes to friends. I believe I'm extremely likable. More so than I probably am. If someone doesn't want to be friends with me, that's okay. I have more real friends than I can manage anyway.

But love? Um, that's when I start acting weird. I really dislike that about myself, but I think it's why I'd make a good long term partner. It's next to impossible for me to begin a relationship, so once someone has me, they have me until they no longer want me.

[Blue Screen of Feels]

Type 3(Image Triad)

Threes are identity-seeking image types who believe they have the potential to become someone outstanding. Just as cream rises to the top so do they see it is their destiny to reach their potential. They want, even need, to become "winners in life" in the broader sense of the term, ie a positive version of anything but a "loser", to prove they have value and are valuable relative to others. A three is acutely aware of their self-development and evolution as a person, "who they are" as a work in progress. They have a deep-seated awe of themselves, of their journey, as well as their destination. They visualize "fulfilling the story of them" and "finally making it". They are resilient and bounce back from setbacks by detaching from their emotions and having a positive attitude. If they face failure or rejection they visualize how their journey must continue and pull themselves together to get back on track. They won't let circumstances get the best of them. They need to be moving forward otherwise they feel like they are falling behind.

There is no type that is more aware of how they come across to others. They can seem confident and self-assured on the outside yet have surprisingly fragile self-esteem on the inside. "Everyone loves a winner and no one loves a loser" resonates with all types but particularly with type three. They need to feel they are "winners in life" to feel they have sufficient self-worth to silence their internal voice of doubt. This causes a whole host of problems: focusing on becoming who they want to be instead of being who they are, and confusing being who they are with doing what they do. They fear others being able to see through them enough to discover they are not quite who they appear to be. This brings about deeper fears of possibly being meaningless and worthless, and feeling they could be a loser beneath it all.

On a more subconscious level threes are aware of the inconsistencies in their self-presentation that are caused by their efforts to find the right angle with others. They can be either very boring or very fun for example. They may feel others are on the verge of seeing that they are not quite who they appear to be. Without fully realizing it they hint to others that they are "not just anyone". They excessively let slip clues like went to a good school, has a great sense of style, was good at soccer as a kid, has a great career, how good they are at their hobby, etc. They subtly remind others of the interesting person they are or the ideal person they are in the process of becoming. On a more conscious level they may even be excessively forthright about certain weaknesses to look more professional or to be seen as more humble, perhaps overcorrecting what feels "off" in themselves. Their body language reflects a very subtle eagerness for one to mirror back to them how they are doing in real time to give them a sense of direction. There's a lot on the line so they try their best to hit the right notes with people.

This combined with confusing who they are with what they do can cause more superficial threes to confuse style with substance. They may have a checklist approach to self-definition and equate themselves with their resume. Not surprisingly it may be hard for others to get close to the real them. In extreme cases the disconnect between who they are and what they project can become so large that once the three achieves everything they feel like a sham and their lives take a drastic turn to reflect that.

Most threes aren't like that however. On the upside threes are very good at holding themselves accountable and aren't averse to putting in the hard work needed to become the person they have in mind. In addition to being ambitious they tend to be more responsible and more adaptive than the average person. While the more extroverted 3s are good networkers and salespeople, many 3s are content to live their lives in private trying to become the best "them" they can be.

In enneagram theory 3s are image center primary which is said to be disassociated from their thinking and instinctive centers. Much of the three fixation can be traced to excessive consciousness in their image or valuing center. That is precisely why threes are both the most aware of how they come across to others and most aware of their value in the eyes of themselves and others. 3s being part of the 3-6-9 group have a very fundamental desire to find their place among people and the world. Their awareness of how they come across to others makes them do that by becoming the best or most they can be. When healthy they are able to get in touch with their real selves as they realize they don't have to trade in who they are to become the person they want to be. Healthy 3s are excellent at inspiring others how to reach their potential just as they have done.

Typewatch Enneagram: Typewatch Enneagram Type Descriptions

Type 3 is in my fix, I know what it's like. :)

[nadjasix]

Just be selective about who you approach to be friends with, but not so selective that you don't give certain people a chance based only on appearances. Some people probably won't have much in common with you and wouldn't make great friends anyway. Others will. It's really that simple.

[elle vs]

I do have a fear of rejection but more so when it comes to jobs and school related things and what-not.
when it comes to intimate romantic sorts of relationships I absolutely need the really deep kind, and I find that if I hide even the slightest, smallest part of who I am than I just cannot and will not reach this 'ultimate deepness'. so no I don't really have a fear or rejection when it comes to lovers because if they don't just completely get swept off their feet by who I am as a complete person, than I probably won't be swept of my feet by them either (for obv. reasons).
but I do tend to be a bit etreme... I don't think you don't think this way because you are not an INTP... I just think I am one of those INTPs (or just people really) that is a really big thinker, and generalizer.
but ugh, I don't know. I hope you do over come it because everyone deserves to be loved for their pure selves and nothing less.
good luck to you!