[Proteus]

Modern society is not always that accommodating towards the stereotypical INTP's natural proclivities. I've noticed, both on here and IRL, that some older INTPs (30+ or so) have often developed workarounds to be able to "get by" (Note: this is not suggesting conformity, but more the ability to work within the system). So I ask those of you that are above the average PerC age (late teens/early 20s) - in what ways have you learned to adjust?



*I've also noticed the asinine tendency by people of all types suggest that someone cannot be an INTP should they possess such qualities.

[qingdom]

fucking don't max out credit cards.

don't fucking max out credit cards.

don't max fucking out credit cards.

don't max out fucking credit cards.

don't max out credit fucking cards.

don't max out credit cards fucking.

[tangosthenes]

fucking don't max out credit cards.

don't fucking max out credit cards.

don't max fucking out credit cards.

don't max out fucking credit cards.

don't max out credit fucking cards.

don't max out credit cards fucking.

I agree with all but the last. The third seems like a medical emergency.

I'm 21, so I have no relevant additions to this topic. Except not to judge others too quickly, which I'm guessing is not too huge of a problem for INTPs anyway.

[Promethea]

I have developed more, emotionally. I gained an appreciation for the full range of emotional experience. Life was pretty flat without it.

I have learned to be more responsible, keep up with mundane things. Once you live on your own, you learn how, and it becomes a habit.

Gained empathy somewhere along the way. I didn't have much of that for most of my life and I think people close to me were hurt by me very easily. I didn't want to hurt them, I just didn't know how I was. Now I can understand it easier.

Forced myself out of my shell for a long time, learned how to talk to people. Crawled back in that damn shell too, but I know how when I need to.

Values and self-image changed a bit. I'm not the smartest person. Try telling younger me that. I don't care if I look like an idiot as much anymore, either. I have had many humbling experiences, and I realized it doesn't matter. So, you won't see me struggling to maintain an image of intellectualism. Sometimes you can get your point across more clearly, more plainly for example. I probably used to dress it up a bit more. I just don't need all that validation so much anymore. I get it more from knowing that I have been real, stayed true.

[Infrared]

Ten years ago I was a fucking wreck. Now, I'm still that same fucking wreck, I just have a pro poker face on.

All bullshit to the side though, I honestly can't pinpoint the ways in which I have adjusted, I just know that I'm much better than I used to be. I guess I just got really good at faking society's ideal of what's expected.

[Haldir]

I've learned that I am a master at killing conversations. I can yank a conversation's hair back, slit its throat and have it lying dead on the floor before it even knows what hit it. All I have to do is start a sentence with, "Yes, but do you know why...". It almost doesn't matter what words are put after it. The jugular has already been nicked.

Because of this, I've learned to be very cognizant of when I'm about to delve below the surface level of a conversational topic. This actually took years to reign in. Now I can tell when I'm about to kill a conversation...and sometimes do it on purpose just to be a dick. But most of the time I try to watch people's eyes as I'm saying something with just a little more intellectual heft to it. If I see them drink it up, yes! I may have just found me an N. If I see the light go out and the body language start to say they want to be anywhere but here, and why is this asshole ruining this topic for me by pulling back the curtain, and why the fuck is he speaking for longer than 4.5 seconds, if you can't say something in under 5 seconds is just stupid anyway, and...I think you get the point. When I see that, I go straight back to: FUCK YEAH! UFC!

It allows many more people to like you.

[tangosthenes]

I've learned that I am a master at killing conversations. I can yank a conversation's hair back, slit its throat and have it lying dead on the floor before it even knows what hit it. All I have to do is start a sentence with, "Yes, but do you know why...". It almost doesn't matter what words are put after it. The jugular has already been nicked.

Because of this, I've learned to be very cognizant of when I'm about to delve below the surface level of a conversational topic. This actually took years to reign in. Now I can tell when I'm about to kill a conversation...and sometimes do it on purpose just to be a dick. But most of the time I try to watch people's eyes as I'm saying something with just a little more intellectual heft to it. If I see them drink it up, yes! I may have just found me an N. If I see the light go out and the body language start to say they want to be anywhere but here, and why is this asshole ruining this topic for me by pulling back the curtain, and why the fuck is he speaking for longer than 4.5 seconds, if you can't say something in under 5 seconds is just stupid anyway, and...I think you get the point. When I see that, I go straight back to: FUCK YEAH! UFC!

It allows many more people to like you.

I get the feeling that people take pity on me when I "ruin" conversations like this. But I let the free market take its course; and yes, the free market has spoken: I am not worth the investment. (but honestly, neither are they)

[Iamtp]

Basic stuff really:

1) I've yet to figure it all out and hope I never do but definitely stopped sweating the small stuff.
2) I don't expend energy worrying about stuff beyond my control or striking out at things I want to change but can't.
3) I do my own thing and pretty much just say "yes" or "no" when I want to say "yes" or "no." People will respect those who stand up for themselves and hopefully give you the space you need to operate. They may not get you at first but will adapt to you and not vice versa like a lot of younger INTPs believe needs to happen.
4) Think about when you are at your happiest and why that is and how you can do that as much as possible.
5) I stopped thinking I belonged to a club and things would just eventually work out exactly how I envisioned them. It really isn't you against the world. You're really no more or less special than anyone else.
6) Keep working on your perceived weaknesses even if they aren't really weaknesses.
7) Jab yourself with a pin if you want to experience tears.

[nadjasix]

Leaving situations full of hicks and morons, and being around people I like and have something in common with, works for me.

Compromising your values is not worth doing just to please people who don't actually care about you anyway, but are on some stupid drama shit. Don't continuously cave to people because you have inferior Fe. Stand for something or you'll fall for anything. The number one problem I notice in young INTPs is they have no idea who they are.

[Jennywocky]

Darn @Promethea, are you just getting me back for the last time I made a post that you said captured everything YOU wanted to say? ;)

I think about the only difference I have with what you said is that I always had been able to direct my intuition into empathetic channels, I felt bad for people even if I could see things dispassionately as well. While it helped me be sensitive, it also made it hard for me to be tough sometimes. Some of it was that I hated to hurt people; but a big part of it was that I realize now that I was a coward. I didn't want to be hated, feared, abandoned, or dismissed if I ticked them off by saying what I really felt or saw as true, and so I would hide it. That was frustrating for me -- thinking so many things to be true, yet feeling unable to voice any of it.

At some point I realized that some people really value a person who just puts things out there on the line and speaks plainly. I also realized that anyone worth my time in my life would respect my intentions and what I had to say, even if they disagreed, so I didn't have anything to fear. And for those who would dump me for being direct and honest, I realized that for "too long, I'd been afraid of losing love I guess I'd [already] lost" -- those people weren't worth keeping, and the cost I was paying was not worth it. I mean, I don't think I've become a bitch, but I'm much more direct about my thoughts than I used to be, and in general that has worked better for me.