I had this happen many years ago just as I was learning about sex and relationships....The bf I had some time ago who nearly destroyed me emotionally was the most sensitive and sweet lover at the same time as having affairs behind my back!!! I simply don't understand how he did that. I realised afterwards it was just his style of lovemaking that had me totally fooled.
It was a very hard lesson to learn.
When I first had physical relations with an INTP I was shocked by how physiically intense just hugging and kissing was because this guy had no physical presence. (I was sure he was asexual.) I really did feel he was expressing not just lust and intense desire but real emotion and care for me.The thing about INTPs being horny - I think sometimes, having sex is a way to feel connection at the same time as avoiding the discomforts of emotional intimacy.