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This is a discussion on Guides to a Deeper Relationship with INTPs within the INTP Articles forums, part of the INTP Forum - The Thinkers category; Originally Posted by snowqueen In a word, yes. It is utterly incomprehensible to me that some people have sex and ...

  1. #41
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    INTPs and casual sex

    Quote Originally Posted by snowqueen View Post
    In a word, yes.

    It is utterly incomprehensible to me that some people have sex and it is meaningless.
    Me too. I've tried casual and I just can't handle it emotionally, not to mention I don't feel comfortable enough to let loose and really have fun with a stranger. When I read about the hormones our bodies produce (like oxytocin) when achieving climax it occurred to me that in my case it's protection that I can't be comfortable with casual sex. My heart and mind are just as involved as my body and becoming emotionally attached to a one night stand isn't pleasant.

    ...The bf I had some time ago who nearly destroyed me emotionally was the most sensitive and sweet lover at the same time as having affairs behind my back!!! I simply don't understand how he did that. I realised afterwards it was just his style of lovemaking that had me totally fooled.

    It was a very hard lesson to learn.
    I had this happen many years ago just as I was learning about sex and relationships.

    The thing about INTPs being horny - I think sometimes, having sex is a way to feel connection at the same time as avoiding the discomforts of emotional intimacy.
    When I first had physical relations with an INTP I was shocked by how physiically intense just hugging and kissing was because this guy had no physical presence. (I was sure he was asexual.) I really did feel he was expressing not just lust and intense desire but real emotion and care for me.
    dex and User thanked this post.

  2. #42
    INTP - The Thinkers

    I agree with this list so hard.

    Shame I can't show it to this ISFP I'm all in love with. He's not romantically interested in me, but boy is he doing a lot of those things that just "kill" me.

    Life is gay.
    Linesky thanked this post.

  3. #43
    INTP - The Thinkers

    Connections

    Quote Originally Posted by ThisProtest View Post
    Me too. I've tried casual and I just can't handle it emotionally, not to mention I don't feel comfortable enough to let loose and really have fun with a stranger. When I read about the hormones our bodies produce (like oxytocin) when achieving climax it occurred to me that in my case it's protection that I can't be comfortable with casual sex. My heart and mind are just as involved as my body and becoming emotionally attached to a one night stand isn't pleasant.

    I had this happen many years ago just as I was learning about sex and relationships.

    When I first had physical relations with an INTP I was shocked by how physiically intense just hugging and kissing was because this guy had no physical presence. (I was sure he was asexual.) I really did feel he was expressing not just lust and intense desire but real emotion and care for me.
    Sometimes I connect with Others without trying causing sexual jealousy.

    I asked the Horse Lady. And she said "it Happens". So I get threatened. This is Snake ENTP mode. That is why I am intorverted INTP. The alternative is much too dangerous. The nearest I get to E is the Turtle in its shell.

  4. #44
    INTP - The Thinkers

    Quote Originally Posted by cryptonia View Post
    I don't think many INTPs would see close relationships as much more than close friendships, with some added physical stuff on the site... lol so they'd have'ta be pretty "aware" for something like that to even cross their minds.
    That's pretty true for me. I have to be very close friends with a lover to truly be in a relationship with him, and intellectual connection and understanding is extremely important. Not too sure about casual flings/encounters, as it's awkward with people I'm not close with. It won't be nearly as enjoyable.

    A lot the middle bit of that post is true. I don't like getting flowers (because they die and are unnecessary), and dinners/meals in "romantic" restaurants will just end up with awkward silences. We're not cold; we have emotions too, we're just not comfortable with the expression of emotions. I will only get into a relationship if I really like someone, but being demanded to give compliments or say things like "I love you" on a regular basis will just irritate me. An INTP will analyse the relationship, as well as his/her lover's personality, and tailor romantic advances to his/her analysis. They are used to being unique, and want to believe that their way of showing love is too.
    Blackbird thanked this post.

  5. #45
    INTP - The Thinkers

    Which Gang are you in?

    Quote Originally Posted by jochris View Post
    That's pretty true for me. I have to be very close friends with a lover to truly be in a relationship with him, and intellectual connection and understanding is extremely important. Not too sure about casual flings/encounters, as it's awkward with people I'm not close with. It won't be nearly as enjoyable.

    A lot the middle bit of that post is true. I don't like getting flowers (because they die and are unnecessary), and dinners/meals in "romantic" restaurants will just end up with awkward silences. We're not cold; we have emotions too, we're just not comfortable with the expression of emotions. I will only get into a relationship if I really like someone, but being demanded to give compliments or say things like "I love you" on a regular basis will just irritate me. An INTP will analyse the relationship, as well as his/her lover's personality, and tailor romantic advances to his/her analysis. They are used to being unique, and want to believe that their way of showing love is too.



    I do NOT have trouble with emotions if I feel SAFE. I might have trouble of knowing how to express them if I am not AWARE of the scene. If there are people I don't trust around, I become inhibited.

    Mainly these are the Bombadiers from the rival gang.


    Types SJ, mainly ESFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ, ISFJ, but controlled by a ENTJ with ISFP accomplices. INTJ Deputy so you can't Shoot the Sheriff, not unless you want to be gang leader.

    Some types need acceptance for who they are (Perseus system). These are the NPs.
    Linesky thanked this post.

  6. #46
    Unknown Personality

    The only emotion i have real trouble expressing is anger. Everything else is fine as long as i trust the person, pretty similar to Perseus.

    I will usually talk about emotions when i feel like it or when it seems necessary, but i admit to feel uncomfortable with mushy partners.

    With the rest of the world i find it difficult to touch other people or be touched by them (pat on the shoulder, spontaneous hug, etc) without feeling incredibly uncomfortable, like i dont know where to put my hands or what that demonstration is for. I feel inadequate. I also have trouble with compliments on every level. People complain that i "brush them off"

    Ive tried flings and i hate them. When everything is over i feel empty and i feel like i wasted my time in a useless activity.

  7. #47
    INTP - The Thinkers

    In my opinion, the most convenient way to attract an INTP is to impress him/her intellectually. Once you've convinced him/her that you are intellectually fascinating, you're in the game. To me, a relationship is an intellectual connection with an added sexual bonus.
    Posted via Mobile Device
    DayLightSun, Nightriser, slowriot and 5 others thanked this post.

  8. #48
    INTP - The Thinkers

    Quote Originally Posted by jochris View Post
    In my opinion, the most convenient way to attract an INTP is to impress him/her intellectually. Once you've convinced him/her that you are intellectually fascinating, you're in the game. To me, a relationship is an intellectual connection with an added sexual bonus.
    Posted via Mobile Device
    x2
    I can not stress this enough. But it might also be emotional talk with an intellectual dimension I enjoy that a lot. Just show your competence/understanding/intelligence. Any kind of deep connection is an afrodisiac to me.
    snowqueen and Noir666 thanked this post.

  9. #49
    ENTP - The Visionaries

    Quote Originally Posted by cryptonia View Post
    The problem comes from when people "try to help". For all there "help" what they do is unlink the process and interrupt the chain by asking the wrong questions and making unneeded suggestions... just let the conversation follow its course... ask, "how do you feel about that" or better "what do you think about that"... don't relate it back to your life... don't try to draw a comparison to your own life... because unless you are INTP (which means you're not likely to even consider doing this) your way of getting to the emotional issue is likely different.
    I wish I'd read this two years ago

    Sometimes it isn't so easy being an ENFP
    snowwhisper thanked this post.

  10. #50
    INTP - The Thinkers

    I have the emotional problems. It's a reason for my extreme agression. I never do anything, but in my gaming, it shows. I do a lot of GOW and Halo. I am much more vicious than most other players. I love chainsawing and meleeing.
    IRL, whenever I do emotions, I end up psychologically taking a sword strike. Afterwards, I mentally am coughing up blood. The last time I properly accessed my emotions, I became suicidally psychotic.


 
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