I have a new-ish INTJ boss. 5 months. I've been at the job two years, and without a boss for most of it.
I had my first performance review today. There was nothing suprising in the review, and it was good, and he was thoughtful about how he completed it (although he had us set our goals for the entire Fiscal Year about two weeks ago in a way that actually didn't account for a core component of my job, but I can roll with that...it's the future implications that worry me, as you'll see).
Where I was massively suprised was in the mention of future goals.
1)He's basically flipping my job from internally focused to externally focused. Or rather adding a huge external focus that will preclude me getting to that core internal component I mentioned above. This is problematic both because I'm not interested in the outward bit, and I'm also in an endowed position which was created for said mentioned internal focus which has now seemingly been droppped. (I think he may have overlooked this fact. We could potentially have significant federal grant funding yanked if he keeps me away from this internal focus, though I'm not certain right now)
2) even though he is saying 'great job', he's all of a sudden adding a responsibility for doing long-term planning for program growth and revenue areas that I've been able to utilize in a more creative and unrestricted manner. I do a good job (I do do planning, just not as much as he wants), and I feel hobbled by the extensive planning, and so this upsets me. It also feels demeaning - like I'm not allowed to make my own decisions. (which i did tell him).
3)Ditto demeaning and hobbled for not being included in the goal planning.
Basically, though, I flubbed my response pretty badly because I was upset. I said I was overwhelmed, and that I couldn't articulate why at that moment, but that it could potentially have been a mistake for me to take the administrative position on two years ago.
And, oh yeah. His mom died a few hours later (he was expecting it, and aid he was not upset, but I don't know - is that likely to be true or not) and I'm on my way out of town to see my own mother who I found out is terminally ill, so we have no chance to discuss or change before my review/ goals (which now include a statement about his concern about what I said) have to be handed in. And we're both pretty stressed.
I can attach a memo, respectfully detailing why I find the goals problematic. Though I would much prefer to talk it though and resolve it -we can't, with time constraints.
I know so little about INTJ's. We're obviously not communicating well:
Why was I blindsided when i though we agreed about how much external focus I should have?
How can i express my frustration with the planning aspects?
How do I get him to let me have more input into my own goals?
How do I address this without further adding to the mess?