You guys fascinate me... with the things you guys say, the way you guys project into the future, come up with possible elaborate scenarios of situations you are trying to understand, the way you don't show any sort of emotion. I just can't quite figure it all out at once!
I am confused. You guys tend to be very self-confident people usually, so why is it that you are able to become insecure in relationships?
I have had this male INTJ tell me things like "I am not good enough for you", "You want someone better than me", "I never really believed that you liked me because I have such self doubt sometimes", etc, etc. I don't even know where he is getting all this from. Another thing he does, he says conflicting things all the time. One minute he agrees to end things, another he wishes it will never end. I feel like he is waiting on me to push him into one way or another. But the way everything has played out already, I feel like he is convinced that we'll always be in each other's lives, as friends or more.
I am 100% that he is INTJ. There is no way he is anything else.
I'm not very regularly verbally affirming, I feel awkward in doing so. But when I do compliment him, I go all the way. I once gave him a list of almost 100 things I like about him (granted okay, it was one time). So how the hell is he justified in saying things like "i didn't believe you ever liked me". WTF.
Also, if I'm choosing to spend my time with you, ask you for advice, care about your happiness, etc, shouldn't that be enough?
Should I just give more words of affirmation more regularly? I'm really confused, because I thought you guys were like me in that you don't need to hear the obvious that often...
Is this something that I can even fix? Some people say that insecure men will always be insecure, and there is nothing I can do really. If anything, I make him less insecure, and he grows even more dependent on me.
It sucks, because the more insecure he acts, the less I am attracted to him. It is a vicious, vicious cycle.