[Zebouski]

Hey everybody, I’m new here to the forums but not at all new to the INTJ experience. In about a week worth of lurking a majority of the popular topics here, there’s one topic that hasn’t really been covered: how we interact with others in a relaxed, social environment. I’d like to see what our alter-egos behave like.

For me, I found that being a natural INTJ makes me a very boring person, so what I do is dumb myself down a thousand notches and act really stupid, making really stupid jokes when the time is right (Those dumb jokes that are so bad that irony makes them great). If anyone of you guys are familiar with RoosterTeeth’s Red vs Blue series, a really good example of me would be the character Caboose. People get a kick out of it and socially accept me, and it prevents me from being the depressing, condescending asshole I usually am. The only problem I've endured from this behavior is that nobody really takes me seriously when I go full-on INTJ over a serious issue.



I'm curious, explain to me how do you all conduct yourselves when you’re trying to fit in with more ‘normal’ people, or do you simply remain reserved?

[Nick86]

I can relate, I am usually serious and interested in only intellectually stimulating topis. But because I'm around a bunch of brain dead fools at chiropractic school I tend to dumb down and act really silly in order to stimulate myself through getting reactions out of people. For that reason people sometimes don't take me serious, but I wouldn't expect them to understand anyway.

[bethdeth]

I just don't bother trying to be "normal" any more. It didn't matter how much I tried they always knew I wasn't, and guess what....there is a world out there doing exactly the same thing.

[Xiong Mao]

I totally agree with @bethdeth's post. Fuck normal. I learned from a very early age that I wasn't normal and that "fitting in" was just not worth it. If I'm in a group, I usually don't say anything, even if I really want to. Why? If I don't say anything, then I can't possibly offend someone's 'precious' feelings. Ergo, I can't make them mad and avoid starting a debate with a mindless idiot, which is similar to arguing with a drunk. I have a strict policy of not talking unless someone specifically asks me a question and if they do ask me a question, I preface my answer by telling them that I am about to give my brutally honest opinion. In certain situations where I know my answer is bound to add fuel to the fire, I refrain from doing so by saying stupid things like "no comment" or "I don't know". (When, obviously, I do. ) As you can see, I have no friends. But that is perfectly fine with me and I intend to keep it that way.

[Persephone]

I'm curious, explain to me how do you all conduct yourselves when you’re trying to fit in with more ‘normal’ people, or do you simply remain reserved?

I stopped trying. I found trying to mesh with "normal" people is inherently a waste of time. I'm a college student. I don't have time for my hobbies. I'm sure as hell not going to waste my already precious time listening to your drivel. Most of the time, in new social situations, I put myself out there and passively interact with others. Only rarely, if I find someone with potential, do I "go in for the kill" and really make an effort. If I'm in a social situation I'd rather not be in (when I start getting excluded or the conversation turns stale and forced- I don't talk for the sake of talking), I would just get up and leave. No goodbyes, no warning. I don't feel bad about it.

[Spear]

@bethdeth
I second this. It's not that i can't be normal, but it isn't worth it.

[bethdeth]

What I really mean in my post above is this: People tend to like you when you can be yourself anyway. If you are trying to be someone you aren't, others can tell. When they finally learn the "real" you, they can feel a little ripped off or doubt your integrity. When it comes down to it no-one can really say what "normal" is. If they are it's usually through some bigoted viewpoint of how things "should" be. Those are the types you really have to ask.....how happy they are with their sense of "normality".

[Agni]

What I really mean in my post above is this: People tend to like you when you can be yourself anyway. If you are trying to be someone you aren't, others can tell. When they finally learn the "real" you, they can feel a little ripped off or doubt your integrity. When it comes down to it no-one can really say what "normal" is. If they are it's usually through some bigoted viewpoint of how things "should" be. Those are the types you really have to ask.....how happy they are with their sense of "normality".

The way I see it is that if people can't handle me being myself then why I should bother to interact with them in the first place. In some occasions I do have to act the way that is not 'normal' for me but those moments are rare and last fairly short amounts of time.

[Elyasis]

Quietly absond.

If absconding fails I try to wait for a lull in the group chitter chatter to excuse myself for some reason (check something, get something, do something). If they ask questions of me I give the bare minimum considered polite. Like "Do your family go to Church? Where do they go?" I answer, "They are searching for a church in their area." Although why these people need to ask such questions... I always like how they ask if my family does something but not my individual self.

If I'm with actual friends I'm much more vocal. Especially if it's something that piques my interest.

[bethdeth]

The way I see it is that if people can't handle me being myself then why I should bother to interact with them in the first place. In some occasions I do have to act the way that is not 'normal' for me but those moments are rare and last fairly short amounts of time.

I think that's a healthy attitude.

My 9ness for years had me believing that I had to adapt, readapt and re-define myself. I'm just glad I grew up. heh.