This is a discussion on INTJ qualities that arent spoken much of within the INTJ Forum - The Scientists forums, part of the NT's Temperament Forum- The Intellects category; Originally Posted by g_w Wait, what? There were three different "shes" in that message. Someone draw me a chart as ...
Has anyone mentioned how unbelievably silly INTJs can be?
I think a lot of "unexpected" traits come in the form of Sensing and Feeling aspects, all of which INTJ can be surprisingly "normative" in to the extent that they are socially adjusted. Some INTJ can sit around in a dark basement and play video games all day with 5 year old cheerios caked to their sweatpants, but there are some (myself somewhat included) who do care more about S and F concepts. Here are a few that matter to me more:
1.) Sensory preferences:
There are certain Sensory things that I'm picky about. I actually like a comfortable, organized, well-maintained living area and workspace. Having dirt and dust all over my apartment drives me insane, as does leaving dishes sitting in the sink, and a dirty kitchen countertop. I also like my clothes and sheets to smell freshly washed, and do laundry quite a bit. It makes me feel better to have a store of basic necessities of everyday life handy. There are definitely times when I get lazy with these things and let them go for awhile, but it's more out of just not being able to get myself to do them than not even realizing the need.
There are also dumb brands I must have for certain things - Pilot pens write the best, Horizon milk tastes creamier to me than the other brands, and when it comes to toilet paper there is none softer than Charmin.
I can be actually somewhat of a traditionalist, or at least more so than one would think. It would really bug me if I couldn't, for example, spend the holidays with my family. My mom makes fun of me, because at 27 I still demand that we decorate cookies every year. I enjoy digging through old photo albums, trying to remember times and places where they were taken, making mental associations between old events and present. Family, and especially holding it together are important to me.
Not an expressive, hug, cry on shoulder type of support but I do really try to listen closely to what is bothering people I care about. True emotional empathy is on and off for me, but at a minimum I do often find it interesting to try and debug other peoples' issues and understand how the way they are wired has created the current scenario. I like giving advice to people and having them not feel so upset about whatever's going on, or feel like they've reached an understanding. Typically, I can also accurately judge in advance whether anything I could say or do would improve the person's wellbeing, given different worldviews and opinions.
I do support differently depending on type. If the person likes Fi (like, say, an ESFP) I tend to focus more on telling direct actions to take to make the situation better whereas if the person if Fe, I try to focus more on hearing them out and reasoning through the situation, making sense of it from a more detached standpoint.
It's not like I'm going to go on an impromptu lion hunting safari or anything, but it's not out of the realm of possibility that I suddenly rack up the money and fly to the other end of the country for a couple days, just to explore a different city and do something different.
5.) Caring about appearance:
It would be a bit over the top to ask me what I would want clothing to "say about myself," but I do care enough about my appearance to keep my clothes up to date. Generally speaking I would want to look sharp and put together, with clothes that match my surroundings, and each other. I have a sense for what types of shirts and pants fit my body well, and try to avoid fits that are too baggy, or colors that look weird together.
Used to think I was one, so yes. As for the INTJs met IRL, there's an honesty in the way they assess others. It's kind of neat to be underestimated by one, only to have them come around with that same unabashed honesty. Then there is mutual dignity and respect.
Last edited by Ohndot; 01-16-2017 at 02:58 PM.
How come INTPs never get threads like this? How come nobody loves us?
Omg @figure all that is also so true about him. He absolutely cannot stand clutter it makes him lose focus but i think thats connected to the intjs strong sense of detail.
And yes intjs can be so silly and their humour isnt nerdy at least in my experience with them, their humour is more dark. Like sarcastic wit or plain silliness . But i never met one that likes science or math jokes.
I guess because this thread seems liked ill try to continue the other things i noticed about him :D
They notice details very well. I said before theyre not good at noticing hints. Like if i was out with my hubby i cant tell him "are u hungry" as a suggestion we eat out. he will say yes or no simply. but wont take the hint. I need to say directly want to eat at etc. Haha
But other details from clutter to how supportive u are, they notice. Which im greatful for because he appreciates me a lot and notices all i do :)
I dont know if this is a common trait but heres a..negative-ish one. INTJs can be really harsh! Like if u make a mistake say ruin something of theirs by accident they will make u feel bad ... and will forgive u eventually but not forget. And when u do a mistake again they link it to all the other ones u did.
I know its logical to judge someone as clumsy if it happens too frequently but accidents do happen once in a while
I also love something about them but some dont like it or appreciate it.
But if you are close to them they will want to bring out the best in u. They criticize but in a caring way. If theyre not advising u they dont really care.
Hmm also they dont do adapting to other people. Im an infj and a difference between me and him is i can be flexible with how i talk to others depending on how they are. My husbands accepting of others BUT isnt flexible. Like sure whatever floats ur boat but youre wrong :P
I wish i knew more about your guys' darker side. Can any intj explain how youd treat an enemy or threat? I asked my hubby hes lke you dont have to know. But im pretty sure u guys can be kinda dangerous.
I call intjs badass geniuses :D
One last thing if someone is dating an intj DONT fake around. Be straightforward. Take it seriously. Be yourself and be honest. They appreciate that a lot.
When i was dating mine and initially didnt like him, i was so honest but he loved that a lot.
Okay done :)
To most regular enemies though... I just stop wasting time on them.
Treating a threat on the other hand, is just like another problem to be resolved - logically.