[Alysaria]

Maybe you do need to face it. -hug- I don't know what it is, but I know about having emotional burdens that you don't want to bring up because they're so painful. But....it's better to deal with a tiger in your living room than try to live around having it there. :P

[luemb]

I don't know if this will help at all, but I can share.

Personally, I find that talking about things did not bring resolution to my problems.

I don't know how much to say, but I will say this much at least. We found out that one of the family friends was a child molester a few years ago. (Thankfully my parents kept a close eye on me as a child so nothing happened to me.) I tried to talk to some of my friends about it, I think I brought it up 3 or 4 times, it was discussed, and then shelved. I still hadn't dealt with it. After trying to email another friend about it, I broke down in tears, and then noticed how much stress the non-resolution of this was causing on me. So I sat down, thought about it, thought about why I was scared and stressed, and did some research about those sorts of people on the internet. Now it's resolved and I'm ok to move forward.

Basically, what I learned from that was that just because the other person has told me all the right things, doesn't solve my problem. I have to sit down and solve it in my own mind until it is all resolved and I know how to move forward.

[Emerson]

and end up frustrated because there is NO solution.
.

A few quick questions and points:
How old are both of you? (Really only one question)
And as an INTJ and well a generally awesome guy, I believe that there is always a solution and cannot rest until its been resolved. However I've started to become more accepting of other peoples needs to move on from things and have started to do so, however when I was younger (lol I'm 20 so hardly a massive change for me to be younger...) I wouldn't be able to drop anything until I'd sorted it out and everyone else was aware that it was sorted.

[Persephone]

I know you don't want to, but what is the situation? I can't tell much without at least some idea. Did it involve a betrayal? Something illegal? Spilt secrets? Religious? A temporary submission to temptation (whatever that may be)? If you two are best friends and can't find it in yourself to get over this, then maybe you should take some time off, and if you can't accept each other as you are, then I see no sense continuing this relationship.

[Fiel]

Thank you all for your input, again. I appreciate it greatly :)

We talked tonight, and in the end it was me that was holding us back.

I took Agent Blackout's advice:

A part of him is obviously unresolved.
You're going to have to reason it out.

It would be most productive to figure out what is bothering him so much about what you did, and why.

and asked him what specifically was bothering him and why. That is when he explained his dilemma; he couldn't understand how I could do something so out of character, which made me realize that I had to tell him something I had hoped to take to my grave... which was that I didn't have a choice. It feels like an excuse to me, and I feel that I am still at fault regardless; but since I trust that he wasn't going to leave me even thinking that I had done it, I felt I should tell him to ease his struggle. I guess I didn't realize just how badly I needed to tell someone, especially him. I see healing and forward movement in our future... there's no place to go but up from here!

So drained. I just want to sleep forever.