I want to address this very serious issue with INTJs. I have a very important INTJ in my life, someone I love very much and would sacrifice anything for. The problem is that he seems to experience an extreme Ni takeover, to the point where he cuts himself off from new important information. This includes new information about me, which causes him to judge me harshly and push me away. He also makes sweeping generalizations about me without taking into consideration idiosyncracies, circumstance, mental state, external influence, and other factors. He cannot look past things I've done before being with him. This is destructive to our relationship as he keeps me at a distance and keeps revisiting his same concerns over and over again.
I've told my INTJ everything about me, shared with him volumes of information and all of my thoughts. I've invited him to look closely at me and analyze me. I do this to avoid him making snap, intuitive judgments about me but he still sometimes goes back to his concerns as though we hadn't already addressed them 1,000 times before. It's tempting for me to get upset but I believe the reason he does this is because his intuition will not let go of its initial assesment, no matter what else he learns about me.
I'm looking for a few INTJs who are honest with themselves and can admit to having this problem with their psyche. How do you experience it? Do you have any methods, tools, or thought processes which help you counteract this tendency? I welcome anecdotal stories about how you came to the conclusion that you had this problem and what you did about it. Anything is helpful.