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Excerpts from everyday conversation

[INTJ] 
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454K views 4K replies 524 participants last post by  Miharu 
#1 ·
On an almost daily basis I am confused (and amused) by certain conversations I have with others. I suspect I'm not alone. Please post examples (and the other person's MBTI) if you have them - if not the exact words then the general gist.

Here is one from today:


ISFJ: X's house was broken into yesterday and they stole her TV. I'm sure she'll want to move now, which is such a pity cause her house is so perfect.

Me: Does she have an alarm?

ISFJ: I don't think so. Plenty of people over there don't have them. I'm sure she'll end up moving.

Me: Or she could just get an alarm...

ISFJ: But she won't want to live there now that someone's broken in. Especially because she's elderly and alone.

Me: But she is no more or less likely to get broken into when she moves than she is now.

ISFJ: It's awful and she's older and has to live by herself. I'm sure she'll move.

Me: She'll still be living by herself if she moves...

ISFJ: I can't talk to you. Why are you so difficult to talk to?

:dry: :laughing: :ninja:
 
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#4 ·
As soon as transport is available off world... whos with me?
**Jumps and down with arms waving in the air**

ME ME ME ME ME ME ME.
 
#12 ·
If transport becomes available, why can't we just ship all of them off? I rather like Earth, I can take pretty pictures here...

Today's conversation:

Ma- why don't you get this carrying case?
Me- cuz I like what I have
Ma- but it's not even a proper case, it's just the box/packaging it came in
Me- yes, and the packaging is perfectly suited for transportation
Ma- but it's not a case like what they're selling as a case
Me- yes, but it works perfectly fine
Ma- but it's not a case
Me- it works for me
Ma- but wouldn't you like this case, it'll fit in your purse
Me- no it won't, and I like what I have
Ma- but this is a proper case
Me- I LIKE WHAT I HAVE
Ma- but this one is actually a real case and it looks nicer
Me- I'M NOT BUYING IT
Ma- I just don't understand you *sigh*
 
#18 ·
If transport becomes available, why can't we just ship all of them off? I rather like Earth, I can take pretty pictures here...
shhh.... thats the "real" plan.

mothers dont know what "no" means, until you ask for something you WANT.
 
#14 ·
I'll just post a Facebook conversation between me and my ENFP friend:
(LONG)

Friend: My sister thought you and I were dating. People don't really pay attention ever do they?

Me: lol everyone thinks we're dating.

Friend: Everyone except you and me! Which you think would be enough to convince everyone but they still don't get it. It's incredible really.

Me: maybe it's a sign =P

Friend: It's a sign that people are dumN. [she likes to purposely misspell dumb]
Friend: Did you like that burn? ;3

Me: not as much as the rope burns ;)

Friend: You're terrible! Just terrible! XD

Me: yeah i am.
Me: terribly SEXY

Friend: *link of Hank Hill saying "My god are you STILL talking?"*

Me: *link of the song "I'm Sexy and I know it."*

Friend: That's probably the BEST COMEBACK EVER!!!!!! *brain explodes* I just got served hella bad!

Me: served up a slice of sexy pie (i can do this all day)

Friend: Ah Jimmy, you always know how to make me laugh.

Me: quit peeking when I'm changing!

Friend: It just keeps coming! XD

Me: GROSS!

Friend: Hamza [roommate/boyfriend] literally just asked me "Are you gonna touch his butt or something?" -_-

Me: well are you?

Friend: *link of My little pony clip saying "No, no, NO!"
OH WAIT! THIS ONE'S BETTER: *clip of MLP saying "mmm....NAH!"

Me: methinks you doth protest too much.

Friend: I protest just the right amount.

Me: just enough to play hard to get huh?

Friend: *clip of MLP saying "Did you just come up with that now?"*

Me: nope, i've always known. i can see the lust in your eyes.
Me: cant say that i blame you.

Friend: Why are we even friends? It doesn't make sense!

Me: the world is a confusing place

Second Friend: omg I laughed so hard reading this entire exchange

Me: she wants me.

First friend: to shut up

Me: and take it, like a dirty, dirty boy.

Friend 1: I feel like I should be offended but it's just too funny

Me: dont worry, plenty of other women out there are offended when i talk to them.

Friend 1: That's a good lad

Me: heck i dont even have to talk to some of them for them to give me attitude, isnt that right (Friend 3)?

Friend 3: it's how i say hi O__________O

Me: i dont want to know how you say good bye then!

and that's pretty much how all my conversations go if i dont hate you.
 
#16 ·
and that's pretty much how all my conversations go if i dont hate you.
Life is always better when sarcasm and a sense of humor is used.

Good thing this line we are all waiting for will have plenty of small talk like this . . . . . LMAO
 
#25 · (Edited)
ISFJ: You don't think it's a problem that someone drinks every day?
Me: No
ISFJ: Even though they're an alcoholic?
Me: That's not what an alcoholic is.
ISFJ: Drinking every day means they're an alcoholic.
Me: No it doesn't...
ISFJ: Yes it is...
Me: Someone can drink a couple beers a night and still function in every aspect of their life.
Me: Alcoholism is when you can't stop drinking and it affects your work/personal life.
ISFJ: That's what I'm saying.
Me: ...
 
#26 ·
Me: No it doesn't...
ISFJ: Yes it is...
This right here. The ISFJ I'm close to is always at it; making obvious mistakes in a response ['yes it is' instead of 'yes it does'] that let you know they aren't fully listening. They seem to have trouble updating their words/thoughts once they've started.
 
#28 ·
Here's another one.

ISFJ: I understand that she (ESFP aunt) is different from me, but I think if you go to someone's house you should respect the way they do things. She knows I like to know what their plans are, and that I put a lot of work into making the house nice before they visit.

INTJ: Well, I'm sort of like her too though. I like having things planned, but half the plans never go to "plan" anyway, so why bother with them?

ISFJ: Well, I still think she should try to be considerate of the fact that I'm going out of my way to help them. I would do that for someone else if I was going to their home.

INTJ: Oh really?

ISFJ: Well, yeah, wouldn't you?

INTJ: So when you come and visit me for the first time out of school, you're going to let go of your picky rules and restrain yourself from trying to clean my floor to eating standards, even thinking of how my choice of wallpaper doesn't match the cabinetry, and how strange the living room smells?

ISFJ: Weird look

INTJ: I think there's more to life than things like that.

ISFJ: Well, you'll probably change when you get a job in the real world and start making your own money. It's easy for you to be loosey-goosey now because you have a safety net.

INTJ: I'm not changing who I am.

ISFJ: weird look of embarrassment and slight offense.
 
#49 ·
ISFJ: Well, you'll probably change when you get a job in the real world and start making your own money. It's easy for you to be loosey-goosey now because you have a safety net.

INTJ: I'm not changing who I am.

ISFJ: weird look of embarrassment and slight offense.






... *response to her look*




 
#29 ·
I love how this is turning out in an ISFJ hate club (or whatever PC way you want to put it).


ISFJ: Did you hear what she said about my scarf? That she wouldn't wear those colours? I never even suggested I was giving it to her! [this scarf is in the process of being knit]

Me: Yeah, she just said she can't wear that colour, because it doesn't suit her, but that it will look nice on you.

ISFJ: Why would she even say that? I would never dream of saying that to someone. I didn't even offer to give it to her.

Me: It wasn't an insult. She just made an observation and then complimented you; she said it would look nice on you.

ISFJ: I don't know why she would say that about not liking that colour. I would never dream of saying that to someone. She's so direct. You would never say that to someone.

Me: Eh, you know I would.

ISFJ: It was just so unnecessary. Why would she tell me that?

Me: *turns up music*
 
#33 ·
I love how this is turning out in an ISFJ hate club (or whatever PC way you want to put it).
Don't forget everybody's favourite: the ESFJ! Here's a couple from slightly earlier:

----Act 1----​

Her: I'm going shopping - do you want some Krispy Kreme doughnuts?
Me: Not really.
Her: Awwwww. I wanted to get some for myself.
Me: Go ahead - just because I don't want them doesn't mean you can't get them.
Her: Okay!

*returns from supermarket*

Her: I got Krispy Kremes! Do you want a Krispy Kreme?
Me: No.

*2 or 3 minutes later*

Her: I'm having a Krispy Kreme! Do you want one?
Me: No.
Her: How about a piece? It's really nice!
Me: NO!
Her: *sulks*

----intermission----
----Act 2----​

Her: So you know ginger is good for you?
Me: Err, okay.
Her: I read a fitness book that said if you get muscle soreness, it makes your muscles soft.
Me: *laughs*
Her: Well, maybe not soft, but it's good for them.
Me: If you say so
Her: Well your grandad used to have ginger every day and look how healthy he was.
Me: That's like saying I play computer games every day and look how good at science I am because of it. You can't make a causal link between something like that when there were so many other reasons why he could have been particularly healthy. He used to exercise a lot, didn't eat junk food, had good sleeping habits, didn't drink etc.
Her: But ginger helps
Me: No, to prove that, you'd need to keep everything else the same, and treat a group with ginger and a group without to see if there is any difference in health-related variables.
Her: But they must have done that if they printed it in a book.
Me: I'm not saying they didn't, but just because it's in a book doesn't mean they did an experiment to prove it (if it was some sort of popular women's exercise book on getting firm buttocks, I'm quite sure there wouldn't have been much scientific basis, but there you go).
Her: *sulks*
 
#30 ·
This conversation happens at least 3 days a week at work. We have a computer database that schedules jobs for us. It tells us everything we need to know like what equipment to work on, what work to do and where the equipment is located. I have no idea what this guy's MBTI is - he's just stupid.

Co-worker [after staring at the job database for 20 minutes]: What work needs to be done today?

Me: We need to do the maintenance on the A's, B's and C's on the 3rd floor today.

CW: The A's? Okay, what do we need to do with them?

Me: We're doing the regular maintenance on the A's, B's and C's.

CW: What about the C's? Are those repairs?

Me: We're doing the regular maintenance on the A's, B's and C's.

CW: Okay. Those are on the 2nd floor right?

Me: No. They're on the 3rd floor.

CW: So we're doing maintenance on the A's and B's on the 4th floor. What about the C's?

Me: We're doing the regular maintenance on the A's, B's and C's on the 3rd floor today.

CW: Okay. So we need to repair the Z's on the 5th floor. Got it.

Me: o_O
Me [knows that we have no Z's at this work site and there is no 5th floor]: Sure. Have fun.
 
#34 ·
@Blue Ocean - don't even get me started on SFJ force-feeding/force-clothing. They buy you something that you specifically told them you didn't want and wouldn't use, then force it on you by sheer force of will.

And if you point out that you specifically told them that you didn't want it then you are being 'difficult and ungrateful'. No, I was just trying to save you money. Now we all get to look at said food/clothes until it is thrown out/given away/worn out of guilt. Yay - another SFJ lose-lose situation.
 
#204 ·
@Blue Ocean - don't even get me started on SFJ force-feeding/force-clothing. They buy you something that you specifically told them you didn't want and wouldn't use, then force it on you by sheer force of will.

And if you point out that you specifically told them that you didn't want it then you are being 'difficult and ungrateful'. No, I was just trying to save you money. Now we all get to look at said food/clothes until it is thrown out/given away/worn out of guilt. Yay - another SFJ lose-lose situation.
tip for harmonious living: verbally thank the _SFJ for their effort and hide that shit in your closet.
 
#35 ·
To continue with the lovely ISFJ flow...

ISFJ: I have to write an essay for college about myself, but I feel like the only cool thing I do is sew and I really don't enjoy it.
Me: mmm.
ISFJ: Maybe I could make my personal statement sarcastic.
Me: I wouldn't; you were never good with sarcasm. More often than not people believe you.
ISFJ: Sob. Well, screw that. That's why it's fun, because people take me too seriously.
Me: People take you seriously because you're not sarcastic. You make stupid comments and then tell people you're being sarcastic.
ISFJ: Shut up.
Me: Maybe you can write about that.
ISFJ: I said shut up!!
 
#36 · (Edited)
ENFP: 'I love telling my coworkers about you.'
INTJ: 'Why? That's kind of awkward. What do you tell them?'
ENFP: 'Well, we always end up talking about school and HOW I'M NOT IN IT and then the subject of useless majors like sociology comes up and I say, "YOU THINK THAT'S BAD? BRACE YOURSELF. My roommate is a women's/gender studies major. And guess what her minor is? PHILOSOPHY!" Most of them start laughing at that point, but if they look like they're waffling, I throw in the fact that you're a vegetarian and I can just see them picturing you as the most hippie looking bitch ever. I can't wait to bring them home to meet you. They're going to take one look at you and go, "where's your roommate?" because NO ONE with your interests can POSSIBLY look like as much of a Republican nominee as you do.'
INTJ: '...that's the most insulting thing you've ever said to me. I'm the furthest thing in the world from a Republican.'
 
#40 ·
Republican, lmao

Wow, this is just amazing insight to how these people think.
How the fuck does this world go on.
 
#38 ·
I thought I'd chuck in a couple of examples of things that made me laugh in a good way. This one was motivated by one of @FlaylexFayte 's comments on how asking an ENFP to summarise an 8 page report would result in 5 pages of summary. So I asked my ENFP friend the question during one of his common and entertaining ramblings:

Me: If you had a report that was 8 pages long and you had to summarise it, how long would your summary be?
His response, without hesitation was: Probably about 12 pages.

Also, the other day we had been playing Minecraft for hours...

Me: I need to go for about 10 minutes to get something to eat.
Him: IRL - worst game ever.
 
#39 · (Edited)
ISTJ Parent: What is that?
Me: A 6-pack.
ISTJ: You thought it was ok to bring a 6-pack home?
Me: Yes.
ISTJ: You didn't think to ask me.
Me: At the time no.
ISTJ:That's pretty childish and selfish, just like your old self.
Me: I disagree. What's the problem with it?
ISTJ: For one you didn't even bother to ask me, you just thought you could do what you want.
Me: To be honest I couldn't find a reason of why it wouldn't be ok, but I knew you would find something to complain about.
ISTJ: You're drinking by yourself.
Me: It's a 6-pack...
ISTJ: And alcoholism runs in your mother's family.
Me: And I'm not an alcoholic.
ISTJ: You could become one.
Me: So social drinking is ok?
ISTJ: Social drinking is acceptable.
Me: You're kidding right...? Becuase there's people around now somehow this is ok? That makes no sense.
ISTJ: You just have to argue. You never understand these things and it shows how much a of an immature child you still are.

*I walk away with a big smile on my face*

Next day on the phone with ISFJ mother.

ISFJ: Hi sweety.
INTJ: HI mommy.
ISFJ: What'd he do this time?
INTJ: What doesn't he do. *Tells her the story*
ISFJ: Of course he said that.
INTJ: Seems to be the trend. Even if I can't find one reason for why something wouldn't be ok he'll find several that make no sense to me.
ISFJ: Yup...
INTJ: I'm not an alcoholic mom.
ISFJ: I know sweetheart.
INTJ: I smoke too much weed to be an alcoholic!
ISFJ: *laughter*. I shouldn't be laughing at that should I?
INTJ: Meh.

/scene

Yea it's long, sorry.
 
#48 ·
ENFP (I guess...) female colleague: "Are you going tonight?"
INTJ: "Where?"
ENFP: "To the newcomers' party!"
INTJ: "I don't like this kind of social meeting."
ENFP: "Oh, please, come along!"
INTJ: "I don't like them."
ENFP: "Come on, please, let's have fun!"
INTJ: "I think you should go to a clinic first, your hearing is evidently compromised."
ENFP: *looks down*
 
#50 ·
ESFJ: 'What do you think about me and ESFJ living together? Be honest. Is she like [other] ESFJ or is she clean?'
INTJ: (resisting the urge to smirk like a bitch) 'You and ESFJ?'
ESFJ: 'Yeah.'
INTJ: 'I'd have to think about it.' (Specifically, talk to ENFP roommate, who will find this potential living situation equally hilarious)
ESFJ: 'She just messaged me on Facebook asking if I'm going to (our school) next year and if I need a roommate. What is she like?'
INTJ: 'She's nice. Kind of a slob, but she'll cook and bake and do housewifey things for you.'
ESFJ: 'So she's messy? Dang it.'
INTJ: 'She might be different as a roommate than she is on her own, especially if you discussed your neat freak tendencies with her first and set some boundaries. She'd probably be willing to keep it to her own room if she knew it bothered you.'
ESFJ: 'Hmmm. Okay, I'd hope so. I would be like, you have to clean up after yourself a lot because I'm a clean freak but I freak out if I have to clean up someone else's mess.'
INTJ: 'Yeah, I know.'
ESFJ: 'I'm not that compulsive about it though and I don't stress over it terribly but I would get annoyed for sure.'
INTJ: 'Maybe you should talk to her about it now, then, before things go too far.'
ESFJ: 'How? What would I say? Just be like, are you messy?'
INTJ: 'Well, no. Explain why you're asking and what your concerns are.'
ESFJ: 'It's not rude?'
INTJ: 'No, it makes perfect sense. Why would it be rude?'
ESFJ: 'How do I bring it up? We both just said we don't want to find someone from Kijiji.'
INTJ: 'STOP THINKING, JUST SAY IT.'
ESFJ: 'But it's so rude!'
INTJ: 'NO, IT'S NOT. SAY IT. SAY IT NOW.'
ESFJ: '...'
INTJ: '...'
ESFJ: 'This could be so cool! She could teach me such awesome baking stuff. I love how artsy and crafty she is. I wouldn't want to share a bathroom with her, though, oh my god.'
INTJ: 'Understandable. You both have a lot of shit. I'm not sure if there'd be room in one bathroom for all of it.'

We've been friends since we were 13 and she's still the most neurotic person I've ever encountered. I love her, but hot damn.
 
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