[jayde]

The topic of weddings came up on another board I'm on, and it piqued my curiousity. What are the thoughts of other INTJ women on getting married? Particularly the wedding?

When my ex-husband and I married, I absolutely did not want a wedding ceremony. I wanted to elope. I had never had any particular fantasies about the white dress or the princess thing. Mostly though, I didn't see the point in standing up in front of a bunch of people spilling my guts about how I felt for my fiance. I found the entire concept of making a public spectacle of an incredibly personal decision to be very uncomfortable.

I was overruled on the eloping option and in the end the ceremony was extremely simple: less than 20 guests, done in the courthouse, reception at a local pub. Low-key as it was, the entire day was still torture for me. The best part was when it ended.

So tell me, INTJ gals, what are your thoughts on the wedding ceremony? Do/Did any of you feel the same way? Is this an INTJ thing or just my inner tomboy showing?

Guys can answer this too. I'm just curious what the women have to say because girls are practically brainwashed into wanting the giant wedding ceremony from birth.

[Perhaps]

I feel the same way you do. It's a complete waste of money and everyone's time.

[quadrivium]

I'm getting married in... 15 months? The planning is not as fun as it's portrayed. As times goes on, the courthouse becomes more and more appealing. That being said, I am excited to be married, which I know is not a sentiment most of the INTJ women on here share.

[kittychris07]

The topic of weddings came up on another board I'm on, and it piqued my curiousity. What are the thoughts of other INTJ women on getting married? Particularly the wedding?

When my ex-husband and I married, I absolutely did not want a wedding ceremony. I wanted to elope. I had never had any particular fantasies about the white dress or the princess thing. Mostly though, I didn't see the point in standing up in front of a bunch of people spilling my guts about how I felt for my fiance. I found the entire concept of making a public spectacle of an incredibly personal decision to be very uncomfortable.

I was overruled on the eloping option and in the end the ceremony was extremely simple: less than 20 guests, done in the courthouse, reception at a local pub. Low-key as it was, the entire day was still torture for me. The best part was when it ended.

So tell me, INTJ gals, what are your thoughts on the wedding ceremony? Do/Did any of you feel the same way? Is this an INTJ thing or just my inner tomboy showing?

Guys can answer this too. I'm just curious what the women have to say because girls are practically brainwashed into wanting the giant wedding ceremony from birth.

I don't think all girls are brainwashed into wanting a giant wedding. Maybe it's just my introversion showing, but I would want a small ceremony and a small reception afterwords (maybe in someone's back yard or another place), and I certainly wouldn't want to spend very much money on my wedding.

Some of the shows like Say Yes to the Dress (about buying wedding dresses) are disgusting. Why would anyone ever want to spend $3000+ on a wedding dress like some of those girls do.

That said, I am an ISFJ.

[quadrivium]

Some of the shows like Say Yes to the Dress (about buying wedding dresses) are disgusting. Why would anyone ever want to spend $3000+ on a wedding dress like some of those girls do.

That is probably my biggest problems with weddings. So much money. For one goddamn day. I am not comfortable with that kind of money just sifting through my fingers. That would make me physically ill.

[jayde]

@corgiflatmate I don't really have a problem with the idea of being married - there are definite social and financial advantages to it, if nothing else. My only problem with marriage is when people go into it just because it's expected and not because it's something that they truly want.

[jayde]

I don't think all girls are brainwashed into wanting a giant wedding.

Oh I completely agree that not all women end up wanting the big wedding. I just notice that there is strong societal pressure and an element of "keeping up with the Joneses" when it comes to weddings and the expectation that most women want that.

[quadrivium]

@corgiflatmate I don't really have a problem with the idea of being married - there are definite social and financial advantages to it, if nothing else. My only problem with marriage is when people go into it just because it's expected and not because it's something that they truly want.

Oh that wasn't aimed at you. I'm just expecting many responses saying something to the effect that "Marriage isn't for me."
You are right; you've got to know why you're taking the plunge before you do it.

[jayde]

Oh that wasn't aimed at you. I'm just expecting many responses saying something to the effect that "Marriage isn't for me."
You are right; you've got to know why you're taking the plunge before you do it.

I know :) I just figured I'd throw my response out there since the topic was brought up.

Good luck with all your planning, btw.

[Humoriarty]

I see marriage as a hold over from men owning women as chattels. I thought we lived in a free society?

So I don't believe in it.

Then there is this wonderful idea of starting your married life burdened to the neck with the cost.... Who the fekk wants to START married life with that burden? The stress that causes?

Nor would I want to be indebted to a relative who paid for it.

------

That being said, if I was to get married in the way that I want, it would be 2 weeks of feasting and travelling for about 2/300 people flying to Africa for a mini safari to see the elephants followed by skiing in Switzerland then Japan or Thialand and finally the main event on in the Bahamas. On a beech. All I'd ask is that the guests bring a passport.

That's IF I could afford that and not care about money.

Of course the honeymoon would be six months training in Russia before the 10 days on the ISS.


IF I had the money.