[INTJ] Misunderstood and Special

Misunderstood and Special

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This is a discussion on Misunderstood and Special within the INTJ Forum - The Scientists forums, part of the NT's Temperament Forum- The Intellects category; Over and over I see people equate these two, particularly in threads on intuition. That by saying one is misunderstood, ...

  1. #1
    INTJ - The Scientists


    Misunderstood and Special

    Over and over I see people equate these two, particularly in threads on intuition. That by saying one is misunderstood, or that something about one's thought process is hard to explain, one is therefore a special snowflake and you are insulting people for being 'plebs' blah blah defensiveness.

    So the question is: has being misunderstood as an INTJ ever made you feel special?

    Or have you ever told yourself you were special to help compensate for the alienation and frustration of being misunderstood?

    Or are there any other situations you find relevant to the topic you want to share?


    For me, it hasn't really ever made me feel special, as I know the bad sides too intimately. I tend to not understand why people don't get things because I see them as obvious. Talking like that, and the obvious frustration I exhibited, certainly offended people, but the only reason I was frustrated was because I didn't expect what I was saying to be so hard to understand - I didn't think it was special. Though I did go through a period of 'y'all are sheep' in puberty, like so many of us, I didn't attach being misunderstood to it in any way that I can think of. And even then, I still had, and still have, higher expectations of people than my experience warrants.
    MoonLight, TheWaffle, Erbse and 9 others thanked this post.



  2. #2
    INTJ - The Scientists

    Rather than seeing myself special, I often feel that I am the only competent person stuck in middle of children with special needs.
    It amazes me how these people manage to cloth themselves sometimes without suffocating to death.

    But besides that, No I don't feel "elite" or special in any way, just different from the norm. Understanding that difference even when paired with competence causes both friction between the "normal" and gaps in communication does not most definitely make you feel superior in any way, but rather lacking the "magic touch".
    lirulin and Perhaps thanked this post.

  3. #3
    INTJ - The Scientists

    Being misunderstood has only taught me the reality of being alone. And since we are all fundamentally alone there is nothing at all special about it. I have never tried to make myself feel special in order to compensate for anything because there is almost nothing I find more distasteful than lying to your self.

    I tend to not understand why people don't get things because I see them as obvious. Talking like that, and the obvious frustration I exhibited, certainly offended people
    I was doing this in a group activity yesterday. I'm pretty sure I came off like a total bitch. But we were pressed for time and hadn't even gotten to the part I wasn't understanding yet and my group members insisted on drawing the same idea in a dozen different representations and repeating themselves over and over and over. So I started pushing them to move forward and really just cutting them off whenever they started repeating themselves again, until one just said "look, we're not as quick as you and doing this helps us understand". And then I felt like a dick.

    At the same time, I did not feel like I was quicker or smarter than the people in my group because I knew that once we got to step two I would be confused again (the TA really really sucks at explaining things). Plus, just a few minutes prior I had been in that frustrating situation where you're asked to explain how you know something and you can't, so you just look like a lucky guesser. The TA had drawn a graph and asked "is this a representation of blahblahblah?" Ni said "yes", I blurted "yes", and TA said "explain". I thought "fucked if I know you're the damn teacher you explain it", but I just shrugged and felt dumb for not being able to do as he said.

    The situation makes me think of art- how you know it when you see it, even if you can't explain what exactly about it makes it what it is. It just is, regardless if I can elaborate on the use of color and brush stroke techniques used.
    Thorgar, lirulin, luemb and 4 others thanked this post.

  4. #4
    Unknown Personality


    Sigh...what is it with intj's that want to be "special", immature kids.

  5. #5
    ENTP - The Visionaries


    Not special. Different. I have always known that I am different, though other people tend to put the special label on me.
    lirulin thanked this post.

  6. #6
    INTJ - The Scientists

    Quote Originally Posted by absent air View Post
    Sigh...what is it with intj's that want to be "special", immature kids.
    You are missing the point here pretty hard or joking / trolling right?
    WamphyriThrall, Nonconsensus and Faklubrejle thanked this post.

  7. #7
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Quote Originally Posted by lirulin View Post
    Over and over I see people equate these two, particularly in threads on intuition. That by saying one is misunderstood, or that something about one's thought process is hard to explain, one is therefore a special snowflake and you are insulting people for being 'plebs' blah blah defensiveness.

    So the question is: has being misunderstood as an INTJ ever made you feel special?

    Or have you ever told yourself you were special to help compensate for the alienation and frustration of being misunderstood?

    Or are there any other situations you find relevant to the topic you want to share?


    For me, it hasn't really ever made me feel special, as I know the bad sides too intimately. I tend to not understand why people don't get things because I see them as obvious. Talking like that, and the obvious frustration I exhibited, certainly offended people, but the only reason I was frustrated was because I didn't expect what I was saying to be so hard to understand - I didn't think it was special. Though I did go through a period of 'y'all are sheep' in puberty, like so many of us, I didn't attach being misunderstood to it in any way that I can think of. And even then, I still had, and still have, higher expectations of people than my experience warrants.
    Not an INTJ here, but if you're taking comments from other intuitives, I always felt, rather than being special, that there was something terribly wrong with me. Until I discovered the MBTI and started to get some understanding of why I was different from (it seemed like) everyone I knew, I thought I had like.. missing DNA or something. Being misunderstood can be a terribly lonely experience, and for INFJ being truly understood is one of the most satisfying things in life.

    That being said, however, I did used to kind of wonder if there was some crazy kind of special-ness inside me that gave me a different perspective on things. And learning was always super-easy for me, which made me feel a little special. Plus my grandma spoiled me, so maybe that was it :P

    As for INTJ, the one I know best is my bestest best friend. She doesn't feel special either. She always says, "I'm not special; I'm not that great." I think she's special though :P
    lirulin, psynite and Nonconsensus thanked this post.

  8. #8
    INTP - The Thinkers

    I have never felt special for any reason in my life. I just always thought that it was unfortunate that others could not understand the level in which I was speaking. However, I always associated that with the constant moving. Most of my schooling didn't even touch the kind of self-studys that I did. So, I really don't think I am special... just that studying and retaining knowledge comes more naturally to me. Not to mention a drive to learn...
    lirulin thanked this post.

  9. #9
    Unknown Personality

    I'm too poor to be eccentric and not smart enough to be "special". I'm just odd.
    When i was younger it was the typical bg fish in a small pond scenario and i often felt the world should be handed to me. After all, everyone was telling me i was special, right? It only followed that i had a special life.
    Then i grew up, pulled my head quite forcefully out of my own arse and found a bigger pond. Now i know i am a far cry from special. That's not to say i'm without my uses, i just know that i'm not lord and master now, there's plenty of people that fit the special label much better than me. I still show my frustration with people, but i try to reign it in a little to ensure i'm not totally without aquaintances. I enjoy not being an entirely headless sheep following the herd, but i'm content to go with the flow a little as long as we don't do a u-turn.
    Btmangan, lirulin, Elinor Dashwood and 2 others thanked this post.

  10. #10
    ISTJ - The Duty Fulfillers

    Quote Originally Posted by lirulin View Post
    So the question is: has being misunderstood as an INTJ ever made you feel special?
    No, not that I can think of, just frustrated and a little isolated sometimes.

    Quote Originally Posted by lirulin View Post
    Or have you ever told yourself you were special to help compensate for the alienation and frustration of being misunderstood?
    A lot of people fall into this trap when first thinking they're an INTJ - can't say that I avoided it. Suddenly finding a community who doesn't ostracize you for those things that make you different but actually celebrates them...well, that's a powerful thing. It can go to your head awful fast. And the iNtuitives are better BS that goes on here because people assume "most people are stupid sheep, and most people are Sensors, therefore Sensors are stupid sheep" doesn't help at all. But eventually I heard one too many INTJs talk about how superior they were because they were an INTJ, and suddenly I just saw them all as a bunch of woe-is-me whiners. Since then when I see it in myself I try hard to stifle that attitude.

    I like what my INTP buddy said - that people starting out should read the glowing reports of other types, then read a realistic, these-are-the-things-you-need-to-work-on description of their own type and put the emphasis on understanding other types and working on your weaknesses.

    Quote Originally Posted by lirulin View Post
    Or are there any other situations you find relevant to the topic you want to share?
    My friends in middle school called me an alien because they thought I was so different, but I've always assumed I was no more different than anyone else. I assumed everyone felt that misunderstood and isolated. It's part of why I like this quote: “There is no such thing as a weird human being; it's just that some people require more understanding than others.” ~ Tom Robbins *shrugs* In the end we're all humans. No matter how different we feel from everyone else, we likely have more in common than not.
    Last edited by Napoleptic; 09-16-2011 at 07:55 AM.
    Ormazd, Btmangan, lirulin and 5 others thanked this post.


 
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