[Green Girl]

I don't know that it would be any different. I just have an attraction that is so compelling. Probably not in the best head space to go into any relationship really. But I don't want another failed relationship this was the longest I've ever been with anyone. I wouldn't say it's been a waste of time, but I'm stiff enough I want something more fun; unpredictable.

Your first post sounded like you were trying to figure out your relationship with your wife, but this sounds like you're looking for a rebound thing. Maybe you should think about what you really want a bit longer. ENFJ, ENFP, either way, stuff will bother you. Be honest, be tolerant, be open. That's always good advice.

[Ed S]

I'm sure there is something to what your saying. I'm not ready for anything really 10 years will take a while to heal from. I heal quickly and move on quickly, however it will still take some time. I am excited by the idea of new possibilities and afraid of making the same mistakes.

[Ed S]

I love to be touched and enjoy touching others, however sometimes I feel a little awkward when I'm not sure what the situation calls for. Also, I want a hug or touch to have meaning not just some act thats performed for just anyone. It is something I want to reserve for those I'm really close to. I feel awkward when I see someone I'm very close to and we hug then there is someone with them I don't know as well then I go all weirdo and feel strange. Man I can be so strange...

[Ed S]

This was in response to INTJs and touching. I find this topic interesting because I do struggle with touching in certain situations mainly when it's not a clearly defined social situation.

[HamsterSamurai]

My test results placed me in the INTJ category, and I've posted here a few times, but now I have a general question for all INTJ people, regarding aversion to being touched.

I walk around with a very large personal space around me, I don't like random touch by anyone, though I've conditioned myself to tolerate it from relatives and close friends.

I'm just wondering if this is typical for INTJ, and thank all of you in advance for replying, should you happen to do so.

With my friends I am very touchy, huggy, playing with your hair-y. But unexpected touching by a stranger or acquaintance... Most people have a personal space bubble, but for me, it's almost paralyzing. Anger(like the kind that makes me want to punch somebody), fear, outrage and uncertainty all bundled up.

[bethdeth]

I guess i'm very difficult for a lot of feeling types, but I'm not a monster or some kind of robot..I have feelings and express as much as I can without losing my identity. I can't be what I'm not. I've always felt like my experience with her (my wife ENFJ) has been me conforming into her ideal of what I should be. I'm sure she has similar feelings. So any advice. I really want to spend some time with an ENFP because I've had so many missed opportunities with some of them because I haven't had the liberty of exploring the feeling because I've been committed. Now I will be free. So now I will have to crawl out of my shell and try to meet one I suppose. Is it creepy to want to look for someone based on type? Sounds a bit mad and methodical. Still the attraction is there when I meet them. Usually I will suspect someone is ENFP and if I ask they either are or don't know and then i encourage them to take the test and sure enough they are. So I guess there is something to it. Any thoughts?

I think it might be a little hilarious if you find an ENFP and be all excited only to find out they are mistyped after being with them for a while. I've seen some pretty doozy "archetypal" INTJ/ENFP relationshits. One was awesome and wonderful then it was shit and over. Lo and behold it turned out the ENFP was actually INFP. I've seen descriptions of an ENFP/INTJ relationshit which almost made me cry just thinking about the emptiness involved. They are no better or worse than other types. Both parties still have to be healthy participants.

[Ed S]

I think it might be a little hilarious if you find an ENFP and be all excited only to find out they are mistyped after being with them for a while. I've seen some pretty doozy "archetypal" INTJ/ENFP relationshits. One was awesome and wonderful then it was shit and over. Lo and behold it turned out the ENFP was actually INFP. I've seen descriptions of an ENFP/INTJ relationshit which almost made me cry just thinking about the emptiness involved. They are no better or worse than other types. Both parties still have to be healthy participants.

Well that would suck. I don't really know what it would be like I've been in a messed up situation for so long I just want some type of change. Maybe I need someone less sensitive like a T, but I don't know if that would really help with my growth. I'm pretty good at judging different types my batting average is very high. Point being is that to me the differences between a P and a J are pretty easy to read and T and F and especially N and S. I sometimes get it wrong but I'm usually spot on. So I feel like I could spot one with or without the test. I really only advance when there is chemistry between me and another person anyway. So I will succeed or I will fail. If that happens I will gladly amuse you with it! So you are with an ENFP how is it for you?

[bethdeth]

Well that would suck. I don't really know what it would be like I've been in a messed up situation for so long I just want some type of change. Maybe I need someone less sensitive like a T, but I don't know if that would really help with my growth. I'm pretty good at judging different types my batting average is very high. Point being is that to me the differences between a P and a J are pretty easy to read and T and F and especially N and S. I sometimes get it wrong but I'm usually spot on. So I feel like I could spot one with or without the test. I really only advance when there is chemistry between me and another person anyway. So I will succeed or I will fail. If that happens I will gladly amuse you with it! So you are with an ENFP how is it for you?

I was with an ENFP (I didn't count mine in the ludicrous relationshits above). It was literally the worst relationship ever. If I were to believe that ENFPs are all the same I'd probably shoot them in the face first meeting....thankfully I'm a little more sensible, furthermore I have had an ENFP friend since my teens as well. Two reasonable relationships were INTP and INFJ but neither of them make me want to seek more of the same.

I'm thinking the change you want is not merely a change of type but a change of situation. Make it so, forget about type and pick it up once you find someone who floats your boat with the things that matter.

[ENFJgeek]

Hi,I'm an ENFJ and I'm new to personality cafe I have a difficult relationship with a INTJ and I can never tell if he likes me or not...This has been going on for almost 2 years. From the research I've found...
These are the signals that he is interested: I catch him looking at me but he quickly looks away,he gets jealous when I talk about other guys,he teases me and we joke around a lot,we text almost everyday,he ignores me at school but we have the same friends and they tell me he sometimes mentions me.
These are the signals that he wouldn't like me...He ignores me,hes told me before he does not like me,he avoids me. This is just so confusing for me do you think he's interested or not?

[sanari]

Hi,I'm an ENFJ and I'm new to personality cafe I have a difficult relationship with a INTJ and I can never tell if he likes me or not...This has been going on for almost 2 years. From the research I've found...
These are the signals that he is interested: I catch him looking at me but he quickly looks away,he gets jealous when I talk about other guys,he teases me and we joke around a lot,we text almost everyday,he ignores me at school but we have the same friends and they tell me he sometimes mentions me.
These are the signals that he wouldn't like me...He ignores me,hes told me before he does not like me,he avoids me. This is just so confusing for me do you think he's interested or not?

My personal advice, to be taken with a grain of salt:

You will get on each other's nerves because you do not have a common communication style. As evidenced by the banter between the both of you, and many other ENFJ/INTJ couples.

But what do cognitive styles matter? It's not science, right?