Relationship Questions For INTJs.

**NaughyChimp** · 05-14-2012 08:01 PM

Originally Posted by macgirl

Yes he's 35 and I'm 30. Which made me think we were done with the immaturity.

Well, I'm in my 40s and I've discovered that immaturity continues well past your age : )

**Prion Indigo** · 05-14-2012 08:11 PM

Originally Posted by macgirl

So I am a little baffled by an INTJ that I recently dated. I feel like he may be atypical but thought I would ask anyway as I need clarity. This guy pursued me harder than any guy I have ever dated. Texted me every morning when he woke up and all through the day...knowing he was an INTJ i tried to give him physical and emotional space and let him set the pace....he wanted to see me almost everyday and we had great chemistry and were very open and honest up front. I have never met someone I meshed so well with....we dated for a couple of weeks and then he spoke with his friend (who I never met) freaked out and broke up with me...mind you 2 hours before this he told me he was smitten with me.....so my question is do INTJ's usually put so much emphasis on their friend's opinions? I thought the point was that you guys made decisions for yourselves? I may just be dealing with someone who is scared I just was seeking clarity from INTJ point of view...thanks for any responses.

How the heck is he INTJ, then (ok, I did this only once)????

**Prion Indigo** · 05-14-2012 08:12 PM

Originally Posted by macgirl

So I am a little baffled by an INTJ that I recently dated. I feel like he may be atypical but thought I would ask anyway as I need clarity. This guy pursued me harder than any guy I have ever dated. Texted me every morning when he woke up and all through the day...knowing he was an INTJ i tried to give him physical and emotional space and let him set the pace....he wanted to see me almost everyday and we had great chemistry and were very open and honest up front. I have never met someone I meshed so well with....we dated for a couple of weeks and then he spoke with his friend (who I never met) freaked out and broke up with me...mind you 2 hours before this he told me he was smitten with me.....so my question is do INTJ's usually put so much emphasis on their friend's opinions? I thought the point was that you guys made decisions for yourselves? I may just be dealing with someone who is scared I just was seeking clarity from INTJ point of view...thanks for any responses.

His behaviour doesn't sound INTJ. Most INTJ's would be like--F-you, I'm gonna do this thing my way!

**Prion Indigo** · 05-14-2012 08:13 PM

Originally Posted by macgirl

So I am a little baffled by an INTJ that I recently dated. I feel like he may be atypical but thought I would ask anyway as I need clarity. This guy pursued me harder than any guy I have ever dated. Texted me every morning when he woke up and all through the day...knowing he was an INTJ i tried to give him physical and emotional space and let him set the pace....he wanted to see me almost everyday and we had great chemistry and were very open and honest up front. I have never met someone I meshed so well with....we dated for a couple of weeks and then he spoke with his friend (who I never met) freaked out and broke up with me...mind you 2 hours before this he told me he was smitten with me.....so my question is do INTJ's usually put so much emphasis on their friend's opinions? I thought the point was that you guys made decisions for yourselves? I may just be dealing with someone who is scared I just was seeking clarity from INTJ point of view...thanks for any responses.

He strikes me as being very feelerish. Sure he's not ENFP?

**macgirl** · 05-14-2012 08:23 PM

Originally Posted by Prion Indigo

He strikes me as being very feelerish. Sure he's not ENFP?

I know he's an introvert so ENFP is out. He took the test and it came back INTJ which i was suprised at as well....he says he's very analytical but I didn't necessarily see that aspect as he did seem to be very feeling as well. He is a scientist of sorts so that may have influenced his answers a bit...I'm an INFJ and I would listen to advice and do what I wanted to as well so who knows...his results may be skewed?

**Cetanu** · 05-14-2012 08:23 PM

Lol age.

The best measure for maturity ever.

**Cool Breeze** · 05-15-2012 12:38 AM

Originally Posted by bethdeth

Was that a question?

For some, it is an answer.

**blackpeppergeneral** · 05-15-2012 02:52 AM

Q. Do you tend to enjoy being in the presence of your partner as frequently as you possibly can?

My brother is an INTJ and it never ceases to amaze me at how often he spends time with his girlfriend. If not at work, or playing in his band - he would be with her.

**bethdeth** · 05-16-2012 01:08 AM

Originally Posted by blackpeppergeneral

Q. Do you tend to enjoy being in the presence of your partner as frequently as you possibly can?

My brother is an INTJ and it never ceases to amaze me at how often he spends time with his girlfriend. If not at work, or playing in his band - he would be with her.

I think I unconsciously had difficulties with this in the past. When I was first with someone I'd be attentive but after a while it becomes exhausting and as I had unlocked the mystery of them I could get back to doing what it was I'd normally do, being an introvert. The problem would be that the SO would realise that I'd started to focus elsewhere and wonder WTF happened. As I didn't really take on board the shifting my own behaviour I'd wonder WTF they started turning into a clingy thing.

**blackpeppergeneral** · 05-16-2012 01:25 AM

Thank you for your reply, bethdeth.

I find myself able to admire my brother's tenacity in his relationship, though I may handle my own situation differently.
Nonetheless, it is an amazing trait.