ENFJ here, married to an INTJ. I can't help for everyone, but I can possibly help with why I am with my INTJ husband.
He's super cute. Being super cute helps attracting cute women. Women like to look like everyone else. But it's more than that.
He was always easy to talk to, easy to be around, but never gave off that 'desperate' vibe that's so unattractive. He didn't flirt, which was nice, actually, because being hit on is kind of lame after a while. A guy who throw out corny stupid lines isn't able to see you as a whole person, and guys like that are eventually boring. He also had very high standards for women--couldn't stand stupid girls, couldn't stand partiers, didn't like women who were too slutty or materialistic. He gave off a vibe of being very comfortable in himself, and not needy. It took me about six months, but I eventually found him irresistable and asked him out.
So you may have to wait for a girl who's a self-starter. Not all girls want to be hit on, and some of the best ones are so used to it that it's a drag--they'd rather someone just talk to them like they have a brain in their head. So you're probably more on the right track than you think.
Of course, it also helps if you have good hygeine, interesting hair, and clothes that fit. Those things never hurt anyone.