Importance of Personal Responsibility?

Importance of Personal Responsibility?

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This is a discussion on Importance of Personal Responsibility? within the INTJ Forum - The Scientists forums, part of the NT's Temperament Forum- The Intellects category; I think I'm noticing a trend here and I wonder what others think of personal responsibility. I've always been the ...

  1. #1
    INTJ - The Scientists

    Importance of Personal Responsibility?

    I think I'm noticing a trend here and I wonder what others think of personal responsibility.

    I've always been the type of person to accept responsibility for when I make a mistake as well as when I am successful. I can't tell you how furious I become when I see people cheating or taking advantage of systems to get things they don't deserve.

    People should only receive what they are willing and capable of working for, in my opinion.

    I get a lot of flak from socialist friends who, in my honest opinion, just seem to me bleeding hearts feeding a fire of personal neglect. In fact, when I told a friend today he should be wary of trusting anyone absolutely, that it is like trusting your parachute enough not to pack a backup, he turned to me and said "You must live a very sad life".

    At that point we got into an ideological argument wherein I tore him apart for his use of ad hominem attacks, but suffice to say I felt like I was talking to someone who had willingly blindfolded themselves and was running about screaming "THE SKY IS RAINING CHOCOLATE".

    It must be nice to live in a fantasy world where everybody is trustworthy, good, and responsible for their own actions.
    InvisibleJim and PeacePassion thanked this post.

  2. #2
    Unknown Personality

    So do you like Ayn Rand?

    I personally take responsibility (or try to anyways) for everything I do, and make sure to take care of myself first before relying on anybody. I find it frustrating when people who are perfectly capable to take on responsibilities rely on group effort or whatever you want to call it, then end up slacking off, or shifting the blame to others.

    An example of this is, in my house I always wash my own dishes whenever I'm done using them, I never just let them sit, and rot in the sink. Everyone else though, just leaves their dishes in the sink expecting someone else to clean up their mess. Now you see where this causes problems, because eventually they start to pile up, and naturally people complain as to whose responsibility it is to wash the dishes etc.
    I proposed a simple solution, which was that if everyone just took a few seconds or minutes to rinse out/wash their own dishes after using them and put them away, there would never be any dirty dishes in sink constantly. I mean really, how hard is it to spend a few minutes of your time washing a plate and fork?

    Of course I don't think all socialist ideas are bad or anything, I just believe that if you want to help others or contribute to society it should be because you want to, not because you feel obliged to under societal pressure.

  3. #3
    INTJ - The Scientists

    Quote Originally Posted by shakalaka View Post
    So do you like Ayn Rand?

    "Hate" is an appropriate word to describe my feelings towards that person's writing.

    It's just too preachy for me, her books serve no purpose other than to scream over and over again "LISTEN TO ME LISTEN TO ME LISTEN TO ME".

    The characters aren't even realistic or, hell, entertaining.

    Apologies if I'm shouting sacrilege in a church

    The dishes... yeah, those got to me. I eventually would just do them myself and secretly develop more intense feelings of anger towards the people responsible.

  4. #4
    Unknown Personality

    Quote Originally Posted by Varulfr View Post
    "Hate" is an appropriate word to describe my feelings towards that person's writing.

    It's just too preachy for me, her books serve no purpose other than to scream over and over again "LISTEN TO ME LISTEN TO ME LISTEN TO ME".

    The characters aren't even realistic or, hell, entertaining.

    Apologies if I'm shouting sacrilege in a church

    The dishes... yeah, those got to me. I eventually would just do them myself and secretly develop more intense feelings of anger towards the people responsible.
    I just asked, cause your post had a Rand flavour to it. Hope that doesn't offend you.
    I only read The Fountainhead, but I thought it was too long for the message she was trying to convey.

  5. #5
    INTJ - The Scientists

    I agree with Ayn Rand on 99% of things, but her books are very dull.

    Personal responsibility is one of the key cornerstones of InvisibleJimness - I absolutely hate to see someone cheat or lie there way out of a real problem and going against their word is an abomination in my eyes.

  6. #6
    INFJ - The Protectors

    I think it is a major problem in society anymore that we do not hold people accountable for themselves. When we stop letting people suffer the consequences of their own choices and make excuses for them, we then create a culture of victimization mentality and actually make things worse for them. We take away their hope or sense of capability when we blame other things for there shortcomings. If we tell them you messed up but it was not your fault we take away their ability to do something about it themselves. Does that make any sense? They will never overcome or do better, if we tell them other things are responsible for their problems, it takes ownership out of their hands. I am not saying that people do not at times need a hand up, and I am usually the first person in line to help someone, but there is a big difference between a hand up and a hand out. One helps and one hurts. I do think though that too many people are selfish and greedy now a days and will not even give a hand up to others, and too many people have lost the wisdom to know when they are crossing that fine line from helping to hurting and enabling others. It is a tuff tight rope to walk.

    Oh and FYI you do not live in a sad world you live in a real one, and approach it with logic and reason, sometimes people interpret logic as loss of compassion but with out people to rationally look at things and see the logical way to make things better the world would not have many of it’s great social advances. It takes all kinds to make the world go round and don’t let other peoples under appreciation of your contributions make you feel less valuable. Although I don’t think that is a problem for you.
    PeacePassion and InvisibleJim thanked this post.

  7. #7
    Unknown Personality

    I agree. I dont know what it is about the people today. I think what we are seeing is the affect of spoon fed people not knowing how to cope with life.

    My ex is a perfect example. Everything bad that has happened to her is some how my fault. I wish I could figure out why she feels that the world owes her something. She uses every excuse she can think of not to work to live up to her end of her responsibilities. And when she got arrested for non-payment she had the gall to tell the officers and court that it was my fault. Luckily that was not well received by the judge.

  8. #8
    INFP - The Idealists

    How about Emerson and his ideas on self-reliance? It can be a little old-world thou art-y, and it's really dense, you sort of have to be in the mood for it, but I lurves it.


    anyway, i was never able to get into Ayn Rand either. I don't think I was ever able to get through reading the back covers of any of her books even. seems like the consensus is it's not necessarily worth it either, even if you do agree with the points she's making.

    anyway, i think personal responsibility/self-reliance are of utmost importance and vital to any quality/authentic social or community interaction. (something like that!)

  9. #9
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Until your X learns that she can do something about her own problems she is in for a world of hurt in so many ways. I feel very sorry for her. I used to kind of have that problem. I used to try to look to others to save me, but I finally learned I had to put on my big girl under wear and that I had the ability to do things about my own life. I could not do a darn thing about what other people choose to do in life, but I had total control over how I choose to handle things and what I chose to do, and I was responsible for the consequences of my own choices, and no one else. We may not always like the options and choices we have, but that does not mean we do not have them. I think we learn that dependent mentality when we are children; just some people never out grow it.

  10. #10

    A big reason for me moving back home was money, but an even bigger reason was one of my roommates. He was unwilling to take any responsibility. The house we were living in belonged to him with the help of our grandmother (we're cousins). He moved here in November & the three of us moved in together in December. He needed to go back to his home state to gather the rest of his belongings & close a few chapters in his life, so he didn't bother getting a job before that was done. After he left my other cousin & I were receiving the bills, which he had been taking out of the mail before we could see them. We assumed he had been paying them. He hadn't paid anything, we were close to having our water & electricity shut off. We also saw the mortgage payment, which is what the other cousin & I had agreed to split between us, & it was $80 less than what he had told us, so he was getting $80 from us each month to do whatever he wanted with. He'd been getting money from his mother & his ex, as well as from his trust fund, & he spending it on cigarettes, alcohol, & pot. Every day he would get high from morning until night & sometime in the early afternoon he'd begin drinking. & finish a 24 pack before 9. The other cousin worked until very late so this left me home alone with him most of the week, and he would get into angry drunk fits with me over anything. It was like routine, he'd come into my room & either complain to me about how dirty the house is & that I don't pull my weight around or he would tell me that my boyfriend is away at school cheating on me & that he has proof of it. A few times his rants got out of control. The first time, right before Christmas, the other cousin & I went over to my mother's house to work on Christmas presents. We were gone for a few hours. When we got home there was a big note on the front door, saying, "I've turned off all the lights and gone to bed. I'm in a VERY BAD MOOD and I'll talk to you about it tomorrow." Well he was awake and drunk when we got inside the house. He said he had calmed down but before he was furious with us, saying he believed we were out to get him, that we didn't like him & didn't want him to be here with us. He said he was thisclose to throwing all of our things into the front yard & setting it on fire. There were other notes around the house saying this like, "This is TYLER'S HOUSE and TYLER'S RULES:" etc. What set him off was Jess & I smoking a bowl of his pot earlier that day without him. It was scary. Whoa am I getting off track? ANYWAY. Fuck man, he's crazy. Hanging out with drug dealers, egging a neighbor's house after she complains his puppy is being too loud, having his ex send him pot in the mail & it being quarantined and confiscated, getting pulled over & being wasted drunk & also having pot in the car with him, OH MY GOD I am so glad I moved out. He still hasn't gotten a job & his old boss is now contesting his request for unemployment benefits, which he's been saying he'll be getting since he first moved here.

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