[Jerick]

Are white lies a common tactic used by INTJs, especially to avoid social interaction? What is the intent? Would you use them on a friend?

[lirulin]

What, precisely, did he lie about?

I've said I was busy when I wasn't sometimes - well, when I was busy, just not in a way I expected the other person to accept, so I portray it in a light that will get them off my back and avoid discussion. I would exaggerate, slightly, the amount of schoolwork I have since "I don't feel like hanging out with you now" tends to be taken personally; same with "I'd rather talk to you on msn than see you because I can do other things to without you thinking me rude but I cannot internet when I am talking to you face-to-face." It's more efficient, sometimes.

[BeanDelphiki]

Well, often it's either:

"I'm sorry, this afternoon I need to [LIE]."
or
"I understand that you may be a friend, but I do not want to talk to you right now (in person, at least). Goodbye."

Most people tend to take the second comment the wrong way. The first statement is technically untrue, but usually better at communicating intent.

[wonderfert]

Well, often it's either:

"I'm sorry, this afternoon I need to [LIE]."
or
"I understand that you may be a friend, but I do not want to talk to you right now (in person, at least). Goodbye."

Most people tend to take the second comment the wrong way. The first statement is technically untrue, but usually better at communicating intent.

Pretty much this. If it avoids causing tension, or the reality is too blunt a white lie tends to be easier. It's more of a survival technique than anything else.

[RericA]

hmmm... I suppose that I generally let little ones slide when I feel its best for all parties involved. I feel kinda bad though, cause I have a friend right now thats an ISTJ? (still workin on it)and she has been doing similar things to me constantly, and feeding me total lines to make me appreciate her... and recently Ive been calling her on all of them... the interesting thing is the slightly different outcome though? she is totally normal in person but really distant and "slinky" as you put it, over the phone/Txting and the like.

As far as myself using lies though, mine are generally much better thought out... so I don't get caught. Though if I did I suppose it would make me feel awkward, because it would be an obvious flaw in my personal intelligent construction of the lie.

[bethdeth]

I don't think that this would be a typology thing....everyone lies...it just depends on the degree and depth. The degree and depth also would not be a typology question.

[JamesLouise]

This for me is definatly a safety mechanism. I tell white lies quite often, and Ive become so practiced at it Im occasioanlly able to trick my own memory into believing I was actually doing what I said I was doing rather than what I was actually doing.

Usually the lies revolve around somone wanting me to go somewhere or be somewhere and me not wanting to go but having no real excuse for not going. Generally Im just tired with the world and need to recharge, which is not something most of my E friends understand, so I say I have work, or an essay due soon so I cant participate in their social ritual.

In no way do I feel that my friends are idiots or annoying to be around, there are just times when I don't want any form of social contact but have no valid excuse for this. A little white lie to cover up my social awkwardness seems to me to be the most polite thing to do in this case. This way I have a plausible 'excuse' so I dont feel guilty for just blowing people off, and my friends dont feel like Im ignoring or avoiding them for no reason.

[Fractals and Pterodactyls]

I've told white lies when I thought the other might emotionally overreact to the truth and I just didn't want to be bothered trying to deal with their reaction.

[Accendo]

Well, often it's either:

"I'm sorry, this afternoon I need to [LIE]."
or
"I understand that you may be a friend, but I do not want to talk to you right now (in person, at least). Goodbye."

Most people tend to take the second comment the wrong way. The first statement is technically untrue, but usually better at communicating intent.

I have done this with many people-- including my best and most beloved friends. I'm not proud of it, but usually such white lies are my way of trying to maintain the friendship. Yes, yes I am aware of how counter-intuitive and even oxymoronic that statement is, but I look at it like this: people are delicate, and sometimes they take a softened truth easier than the whole truth.

When I tell one of my best friends, "I have to go because I need to [stretched truth] this afternoon," what I'm really saying is either (a): "My social energy is drained, I can't be a good friend to you right now, I need to introvert"; or (b) "You're really irritating me, but I like you and don't want to screw up our friendship. As such, I'm going to leave now before I let my eviler INTJ side show." It does not mean I don't like my friends, that I'm really mad at them, or that I need them to pry into my life and try to "fix things". It just means I want to be left alone for a while so I can continue our friendship. Granted I try to tell the truth and avoid lying by simply saying, "I'm really sorry but I have to go now. Would you e-mail me about this topic so we can talk later?" or "E-mail me and I'll reschedule a time we can meet soon."