[bionic]

Since I've been on the forum, I have recognized differences of attitudes and behavior of INTJ men and women. So from all of your own observations, what are the distinctions that you recognize yourselves?

[bethdeth]

The men tend to go more for feelers whereas the women tend to go for NTs more.

[wonderfert]

The men tend to go more for feelers whereas the women tend to go for NTs more.

I tend to go for feelers more. But then, I tend to relate more to male friends. So you probably have something there.

[Filo]

The women generally seem to have a harder time with it, as their personality doesn't mesh society's perception as what they should be as well as it does for the males. Also,they tend to be more social.

[bionic]

The men tend to go more for feelers whereas the women tend to go for NTs more.

Why do you think that is?

[femalegamer]

Why do you think that is?

Looking at the comments in the "what kind of men do INTJ women look for?" thread, we tended to look for men who understood us, that wouldn't get steamrolled and potentially were okay with not being in the traditional male role. Is it possible that at least the first one is more fulfilled by fellow NTs, if not the other two?

I speak, of course, as a woman married to an ENTP.

[InvisibleJim]

Why do you think that is?

Scientific totally nor random thing from the top of my head:

Because the men tend to visualise themselves wearing either top hats or business suits; therefore (of course) they are inclined to go for females wearing vibrant underwear (feelers). By comparison the females are all wearing fluffy hats or comfortable clothes and therefore they are likely to go for gentlemen with with alphabetically ordered DVD collections (thinkers).

/end oddity :

[bethdeth]

Why do you think that is?

Grrrr...quantifying this is complex and there are going to be a lot more reasons why INTJ women are not only attracted but probably will be better matches...I won't be able to answer it without a thesis...I'll try though.

This is a generalisation as I can't speak for every single INTJ woman and it's noted that already wonderfert has indicated otherwise......but generally.....


I think that INTJ women still like to remain women:

It kind of goes against a kind of "natural order" perhaps.

Since INTJ women typically are strong individuals who are organised, value rationale over the emotional and highly independant, think logically and don't like highly charged displays of emotion only follows that they will not like to be involved someone perceived as weaker or less rational than herself. Interest can wane quickly after a good dose of a teary man. Respect once lost is hard to get back.

This is not to say that feelers have any less strength. INTJs in general are not emotionally demonstrative and don't respond to dramatic displays too well.

INTJ males don't like overly emotional displays either....but it seems more acceptable somehow coming from a woman. It is less work for INTJ males to assess and "fix" their situation in a relationship. INTJ women will find the situation harder.

In general rules of attraction (biologically speaking) women will look for a mate taller and stronger than herself...it follows that she will look for someone more masculine than herself and this includes more masculine thought processes.

[ChanceyRose]

/end oddity :

Jim, I think you'll need to try a little harder to end your oddities.

Having lived with an unhealthy Feeler for nearly half my life, I am reticent to enter into a relationship with another one, even if he is healthy. Perhaps an NF would be okay but I"m pretty scarred and more than a little scared. Sensors are so alien to me that I don't think I'd ever be able to come to a genuine understanding with one. That leaves only NTs.

Another difference I've noticed is that INTJ males become more comfortable with their emotions as they age and INTJ females become more comfortable with their intellect.

[Harley]

Since INTJ women typically are strong individuals who are organised, value rationale over the emotional and highly independant, think logically and don't like highly charged displays of emotion only follows that they will not like to be involved someone perceived as weaker or less rational than herself. Interest can wane quickly after a good dose of a teary man. Respect once lost is hard to get back.

This is pretty much how I am, in terms of how I feel about relationships, except I'm into women so NT women FTW!!

But yeah, your rationale totally makes sense