[StarBuck]

What are you guys like in romantic relationships?
Loyal, go out of my way to help, listener, supportive

Are you usually quiet during interactions?
I talk more once I feel safe. In the beginning I tend to ask more questions.



What do you prefer to do in terms of going out on a date (movies, dinners, etc?)?
I prefer quiet outings, just hanging out, nature walks, mostly quiet and alone

Do you prefer to be dominant or submissive to your partners, regardless of your gender?
It varies on the circumstance but I do like having veto power.

What types of sex do you enjoy?
A lot and pretty much anything.

[Red Leaf]

I was err, wondering, how are you guys like in romantic relationships?
In the beginning, I specialize in overthinking and being neurotic. After things settle and become more comfortable, those only happen in high stress times. Overall, I'm more open and selectively lay things about myself bare that I keep concealed to the masses.

Are you usually quiet during interactions?
Not really. I can't be in a relationship with someone that I don't have anything in common with and that doesn't have a nimble and quick mind that can keep up with mine. I find that I talk a lot more, ask more questions and actively listen to what my partner has to say.

What do you prefer to do in terms of going out on a date (movies, dinners, etc?)?
Something unconventional or pretty much anything outdoors. Bookstores are always fun to browse through too.

Do you prefer to be dominant or submissive to your partners, regardless of your gender?
Hmm, I prefer the man I'm with to be a man and know what he wants/needs and has the determination to get what they seek. So more submissive but not in any way a doormat. I have to be and tend to be more aggressive in my professional life and I'd really rather not have to be a ball busting bitch when I'm with my SO.

What types of sex do you enjoy?
The kind that involves a Tab A and a Slot B. Oh, and orgasms. Those are never, ever a bad thing.

[lib]

It's not even history.
It's ancient history so I don't really remember anything.
Movie sounds nice. As for dinner I've twice had Rendez-Vous at McDonald's - once with a Colombian girl in Denmark and once with an Uruguayan girl in Costa Rica - none of them showed up. Maybe I should switch to Burger King next time.

[perennialurker]

What are you guys like in romantic relationships?

I pride myself on being very loyal, gentlemanly, and helpful.

Are you usually quiet during interactions?

I am usually quite talkative around people I am close to.

What do you prefer to do in terms of going out on a date (movies, dinners, etc?)?

Sharing interests, watching movies together (preferably at home).

Do you prefer to be dominant or submissive to your partners, regardless of your gender?

I definitely lean toward dominant.

[MissJordan]

I've never been in a relationship so I can't say. . .

This, is the exact problem of relationships with INTJs
We don't get into them.

I'm in my first, at the moment.

While I do not have high standards in terms of physical attraction, that of intellectual standards are unprecedented.
The girl I'm dating, is the first girl who has ever been able to not only understand my ideas, but adds her own perspective onto them. She's an INFP, so she always has her own perspective.

Her perspective is of interest to me. I respect her opinion because she's earned herself the title of 'intelligent' in my view (not easy). I am so alien to the emotional side of looking at things that her opinion bewilders me, something I'm not used to.
Without my respect of her intellect, I would have deemed her ideas as 'stupid' and 'flawed'.

Now that she's earned my respect as well as captures my interest, I've gotten very attached to her despite only going out for just over a month I've become a lot more outgoing and in general happier.

In short, it is overly rigorous to prove yourself as 'relationship material' to us, you need to be:
- Real-world smart (able to analyse the world, 'book-smarts' are of no importance)
- Very interesting. (provide your own perspective on matters, not necessarily challenging ours -- which we hate)
But, once you are, we're totally yours...

[MissJordan]

What are you guys like in romantic relationships?
Well, I'm not like an INTJ, when I'm in a romantic relationship...
- I was described as 'spontaneous'.
- I'm more emotional, actually able to get sad.
- More outgoing.
- Less paranoid and over-analytical.
- Happier in general.
- More caring.
- I actually get excited about seeing my girlfriend (any form of excitement is MASSIVE to INTJs)

Are you usually quiet during interactions?
Well, the 'deep-and-meaningful' interactions I get very quiet around, but mind you, I strongly encourage those conversations to be had. I just make a little poetic observation when I can, and hope that cheers my girlfriend up.

What do you prefer to do in terms of going out on a date (movies, dinners, etc?)?
Something meaningful to the other person, always (with one exclusion, but that had good reasoning). Never formal, it's almost always us walking around the city, going to a garden and eating some sort of fast food.


Do you prefer to be dominant or submissive to your partners, regardless of your gender?
Dominant.

What types of sex do you enjoy?
Can you clarify the meaning of this?
Do you mean one night stands or as in what position...?

[jbking]

I've only had one romantic relationship which while it had an odd start, it was rather intense and an on-again/off-again relationship spanning 12 years of which I'd say we were together for maybe a total of 3 of those years. In the beginning I treated her worse than a dog as she was like a new toy to me. When I wanted the relationship there is one but if I didn't want it, then it was off. While I could plead ignorance for my amazing stupidity I'm not sure how well that would work. I have matured considerably since the last breakup however. I was rather affectionate in the relationship though I would argue I was also reserved and shy.

In terms of being quiet during interactions this depends a ton on the context. In the past year I have had phone conversations that have lasted for hours with a friend so in some cases I can be quite chatty. If I'm not being asked questions or encouraged for feedback, I'll tend to be quiet and reserved as what is the point of saying anything in these situations?

I've never really had a date other than when I had that girlfriend which had what could be called dates but by that point we had a pseudo-marriage as I stayed so often in her dorm room than mine in the first 10 months. Thus dates are still a rather foreign concept to my mind.

I tend to prefer being the submissive rather than the dominant. I wonder if part of this ties into my introversion where my inner world stays private.

I've enjoyed a few different forms but I haven't had much practice lately. Thus this isn't an easy question for me to give an honest answer based on recent past experiences. I do not masturbate but other than that I don't think I'm going to disclose much.

[RericA]

*carefully steps into the INTJ discussion room*

H-hi guys.

I was err, wondering, how are you guys like in romantic relationships?
I am a champion. Spontaneous meaningful gifts and romantic surprises, keeping track of important dates and elaborate evenings to celebrate them, surprising my partner with an expertly cooked dinner, candles, massage oil, and other genius ideas specifically catered to be as impactful personally to the specific partner, et cetera.


Are you usually quiet during interactions?
When I am first getting to know someone, I am generally thinking 100mph, being extremely observant and critical of everything they say, and comparing them to my... list of sorts, of what I like in a partner, and deciding if I thought they were a match for me or not. This generally leads to short questions that require long answers, and a stoic facial expression absorbs them. As I find out more about someone however, I am very talkative, because I know what they are about, and have grown to respect them, and in turn care about whats going to come out of their mouth and would like to hear it, and teach them about myself.

What do you prefer to do in terms of going out on a date (movies, dinners, etc?)?

Dinner is great, because it allows a chance to sit in an environment most would consider to be neutral, its public, there is still a mild illusion of privacy, and there is an obvious task for both to complete (eating) which is good for people's comfort level on both sides, and makes conversation easier. Movies are not so great, until later on in my opinion. Early dates and outings are to get to know each other, not sit in the dark quietly next to each other for two hours. This accomplishes nothing, and is a time-waster for when you have time to waste and nothing better to do. A great date in my opinion, is either elaborately planned, or illustriously spontaneous, and provides an environment that both parties involved are able to show something about themselves, and discuss it.


Do you prefer to be dominant or submissive to your partners, regardless of your gender? What types of sex do you enjoy?

INTJ's are usually very confident and driven, and uniformly I find myself being much much more dominant in the bedroom, and as stated above by one of the more awesome participants on PerC, though for a different reason. I prefer someone that is dominant as well. Makes for a fun time, and provides the whole spectrum rather than just one side of things, creates an interesting sort of balance, and the struggle for dominance that gets created when both partners are 'energetically in the mood' creates an immensely passionate time.

Also, I can be a total romantic, and am very emotional for the right person, and can do the whole body massage, the music, the candles, and the passionate, emotional, meaningful sex situation expertly.

Unfortunately, I am terribly picky about the sort of person I date, and like being single. Therefore, the combination of those factors along with my confidence being boosted even more in knowing that most ladies out there would kill for someone that genuinely can conduct my above replies, leads me to quite unforgiving of those that don't treat me well.

So, if your asking because you think you might have an INTJ on your hands, or would like to, if they are like me, be honest, straightforward, and go for it. you could have a great time in your future.

[utalk2muchandnevershutup]

I was err, wondering, how are you guys like in romantic relationships?
I like directness. I don't like men who kiss my ass all the time. I like a challenge. I like intelligence. To me, romance is intimacy and fun, not walks on the beach or flowers. If you can get me to really trust you, I will be in love forever. But, you will have to prove you are not a dumb-ass. One dumb-ass moment or decision, and you go on the idiot list.

Are you usually quiet during interactions?
In the beginning, possibly. I may be analyzing you, or thinking about black holes and parallel universes.

What do you prefer to do in terms of going out on a date (movies, dinners, etc?)?
I like a good meal with good conversation...and good wine.

Do you prefer to be dominant or submissive to your partners, regardless of your gender?
I get tired of having to tell others what to do with themselves, so in an ideal relationship I'd like to be a little submissive so I can relax.

What types of sex do you enjoy?
I don't talk about feelings much...but I do express it behind closed doors...if I do something freaky with you, don't bring it up in the light of day or it may never happen again. Romping is romping, but once we are done, I consider the emotional part of my day to be over with.

[ForsakenMe]

So it seems to me that once you are able to trust your romantic partner, you guys seem to loosen up. Am I wrong here? Do you guys tend to relax a little and turn more silly or more "softer" in general?

I can respect the INTJ's high standards; It shows me that you guys strive for a great relationship in your life... Too many people settle for the worst kinds of people and I could never survive in that kind of situation.

If I could offer a small piece of my own advice, and I know that you guys may laugh at this since I'm such a Feeler, but... You should take embrace a partner's flaws and not reject them COMPLETELY just because they're less than perfect. I am the kind of person to give people a benefit of a doubt and even give them second chances... Trust me when I say, you might be pleasantly surprised once you give a certain someone a chance. :)

Overall, you guys sound amazing to be in a relationship with.