[cavarice]

This comes off as being about introversion in general, rather than INTJs, so I'll chime in. I think a good hypothetical question to chew on is how one might behave and relate to people in an ideal world where all are accepting and receptive; where one doesn't have to worry about being cast aside, and where finding fulfilling relationships isn't an issue. The idea that introversion is necessarily a result of poor early social experiences would suggest that one would have a desire to engage in significantly more social interaction in an "ideal" social environment. I think it is obvious that this is not the case.

[lirulin]

I think it's more the other way around. We naturally seek solitude and reassurance in ourselves - so outsiders, feeling, resentfully, that they are not needed enough and therefore irrationally feeling insulted, try to tear us down. We seek solitude and our thoughts - so people think we're weird and are not inclined to listen when we do speak. Et cetera. For the unhealthy this can turn into a feedback loop to be sure, but to be INTJ is to start with these behaviours in a relatively healthy state. Because there is nothing wrong with them as such, much as it is possible to do them for the wrong reasons.

I'm not damaged at the core, anyway. Damaged, yes, but it does not reach the core.

[mdawn]

This comes off as being about introversion in general, rather than INTJs, so I'll chime in. I think a good hypothetical question to chew on is how one might behave and relate to people in an ideal world where all are accepting and receptive; where one doesn't have to worry about being cast aside, and where finding fulfilling relationships isn't an issue. The idea that introversion is necessarily a result of poor early social experiences would suggest that one would have a desire to engage in significantly more social interaction in an "ideal" social environment. I think it is obvious that this is not the case.

*high five!*

[wealldie]

I'm not damaged. Therefore, the answer is 'no'.

[ChanceyRose]

I can't speak for all INTJs, only myself. I was not damaged as a child, or teen, or young adult. My life has not been perfect but it is far from traumatic. According to my parents I have always been introverted. I learned the art of self-soothing early in infancy; I entertained myself as a child; I was content to sit in a corner and read as a teen; nothing makes me happier as an adult than precious stolen minutes of silence. I spoke early, read early, and could put forward a rational, loophole-free argument for not cleaning my room by the time I was 8. For me, being an INTJ is a happy thing.

[animalcule]

I've had my share of hardships directly related to who I am, and my way of dealing with other people and living life might not be the objective best... but, I don't feel at all 'damaged'. I actually seem to be much more mentally and emotionally healthy than the majority of the people I know. Keeping in mind I have a happy LTR and manage to make and keep friends quite easily (I might not talk to them for months and months at a time, but they are always glad to see me again) so I have 'extrovert cred' and have never felt lonely.

I have an excellent memory of my early childhood and many of my most defining personality traits such as the ones you mentioned have been present my whole life and feel healthy and natural to me. Personally I always got way, way more attention than I would have liked during my formative years - I was an only child until I was 5, had a strong personality, a large extended family, and was my smotheringly loving father's favorite person for many years. I have always felt intruded upon and desired more solitude, less praise, less emotional connection.

[StevieRay]

I read an article about how hormones effect a person's brain development as well as temperament in the womb. The line at which one draws between learned behaviors, actions, thoughts and how a person responds to them can be blurry sometimes I think.

The way I see it is in the form of an analogy: people are like music. Their temperaments are like the various instruments that make that music. You can play the natural minor scale on a violin or a cello: but one will sound more somber... You see many different styles played across all instruments but some instruments are geared more towards certain key signatures as well as musical styles... The piano is natural when it comes to sight reading and the guitar is easier played through improvisation. Some music is refined and other music is rough around the edges; there is music complicated in nature and others are simple in composition. Temperament is simply the vehicle to transmit the music.

I'm sorry Mdawn if you have been singing a sad song inside for a while I hope your theme will have a chance to be more happy with your overall score of music! You cannot control outside factors but you can choose how you will respond to them.

[WickedWitch]

"Damanged?" Is that some kind of new mix between "damaged" and "deranged"? Because I like it.

In other words, you're asking if it's nature vs. nurture. I think certain events during my childhood changed me from a F to a T (and how!). But my family notes that they knew I was a strange, solitary child ever since I was a cub. Heck, I didn't even cry much, and I only awoke at night to play with the cats (my true friends).

(And by strange, I mean I played with dinosaur figurines, took wooden letter blocks to bed, and ripped the heads off of any stuffed animals I could get my hands on. Then, after dinner, I ate Play-doh.)

[lirulin]

(And by strange, I mean I played with dinosaur figurines, took wooden letter blocks to bed, and ripped the heads off of any stuffed animals I could get my hands on. Then, after dinner, I ate Play-doh.)

Strange? really? That seems pretty normal. I did all of those. Then again, I also researched various obscure plagues so I could pretend they infested the playroom so that all the dolls died in a heap regularly, I murdered my imaginary friends because they bored me, and I had a teddy who was a serial killer....

[ariana20]

do we confide in ourselves simply because we've been damaged? do we seek out peace and assurance in ourselves because we have not been assured enough on the outside? are we naturally passive because we were pushed to the side...one too many times as a young kid perhaps? do we seek solitude to recharge our thoughts...because no one else ever gave us an open ear? or...is it just me.

so, i'm no expert on all this...but....i think this is our type's reaction to :
being damaged or pushed to the side, not getting enough reassurance or being given an open ear

these things happened to lots of people as they were growing up to greater or lesser degrees

i think many kids/teens go through stages of believing these things have happened to them as they are naturally very self focussed at that age and tend to regard themselves as terribly hard done to

but i think different types react differently. and sometimes in quite opposite ways, to such real (or perceived) injustices and hardships