[Slicknick]

Hmm. I was thinking about something I did last night, with one of my best friends, we were at the mall and we left to go to to the 7-11 to buy a slushie, because we could, don't ask. Anyway, we were going down there when this man came up to us and he had a bruise on the side of his head, and asked us for some money to pay for the towing of his truck that had expensive landscaping equipment in it, which had broken down. He told us that he would give us his number and have us call him in an hour or so in order for him to re pay us about 5 fold, he offered 350 dollars. Now don't worry, I'm not naive or anything, or stupid, and against every fiber of my body telling me to not give him the cash and just keep walking, I gave him about 15 dollars. I don't know why, I knew the number he gave us wouldn't work, and the person he called ( The "tow man" ) probably didn't even know him.. but still, I did it anyway, and I think I justified it to myself as "Well.. I know I just got scammed, but me and my friend gave him some money anyway, just because I think we both felt that even if we just got ripped off, he did it because he really needed the money, and we just helped him. Just saying.. I did it for a reason!

[Seren]

Get ready for a life story here. I know you said "Don't make it long" but there's no other way.

When I was little, my brother and sister were attention hogs. As a result my parents were always with them, each other, or alone. That mixed with the fact that my bro and sis were both about six years older than me, I had no one to hang out with. I didn't like anyone at school, they were far too immature for me. I was lonely.
During the winter of 07, there was a boy who I hated. His name was Nashi, and he was an INFJ. I hated him, until I got to know him. Skipping a huge sob story here, I fell in love with this boy. However, things didn't work.
I am a pansexual, so neither girls or boys bring me sexual pleasure unless I already really like one of them. This is unlikely, because I hate most people. I tend to lean more towards boys, mostly because I had a very uncomfortable encounter with a lesbian that wanted to have kinky sex.
A year later I ended up in group therapy after attempting suicide, and at school I was allowed to eat in the Guidance office, with friends of my choice. Being socially inept, reclusive, and introverted, I had little friends, at in that small group of friends, none that I truly felt I could open up to. I thought the counselor himself would sit there and eat lunch with me if I didn't invite someone, and to avoid awkwardness between myself and an older man (I've always felt like that around older men due to the fact that my dad tried to rape me while he was drunk once) I let a girl come. She decided to invite another girl as well. And so the three of us sat in there, spoke, ate, and got to know each other for thirty minutes each day. The alias for the girl I did not invite is Ava - She is the important one of the two. The friend that I did invite rarely came, while Ava somehow managed to show up every single day. I had known Ava for several years, however we were never close until this point. She was (is) a total weirdo, but then again so was (am) I. Ava's an INFP, so we could relate on some topics. Things continued on like that while the school year passed, and I finally felt sort of close to someone. I never told her about Nashi, though.
It was at this point, what with me being an anime freak and what not, that I told her to watch this certain anime. She did after several weeks of procrastination, and loved it. Ava told me something interesting after that. She said, "I have imaginary friends of characters that I like from stories." At first I thought this was odd. When I was little I tried to have imaginary friends, but I never quite understood the point since you were just talking to yourself, formulating your own response. But apparently, she could see them, hear them, feel them, taste them, smell them... They were just as real to her as I was. So, she got the characters from that story and "transferred" them to her world (Lack of a better explanation. My apologies.) It was weird, speaking with characters who had died, who weren't real... At first I tried to help her, evaluate her, give her therapy... But of course, being me, I simply became far too interested in these characters, and took a great liking to them. I got my own as well, and played along as though I could see them, even though I couldn't. This all began on 6/9/10.
Precisely a week later, one character whom I'd never paid much heed to arrived. Ava didn't seem to like him very much. I call him Mihael, at this point. But back to the past, I didn't like him very much either. In fact, I hated him. But then, 6/19/10, all 8 of us went to the river near my house and just bummed around for a while. There was an unknown substance strongly resembling white foam (Yeah, our river isn't the cleanest...) forming on the surface of the water. I recall scooping some up on a stick and poking him below the belt with it. The fun ended when it began to rain, and a lightning storm isn't the best thing when surrounded by water and trees. Besides, Ava was wearing a white shirt. We rushed back to my house and dried off, before sitting around and basically playing a childish game of Would You Rather. Mihael sat above me on my unfinished bunk bed. I took a palm leaf I had gotten at church on palm Sunday and (Mostly to see his reaction, partly because I thought it would be funny, especially to pretend I was oblivious) began poking him... Ahem, between the legs, once again.
I was ashamed, to say the least, once they left. I wasn't sure if I liked Mihael, and certainly didn't want to. Though it had been two years, I was still sort of hung up over Nashi. I had never loved anyone in my life (Not my family or anyone outside it) before him. As I thought more about it, Mihael really did act a lot like Nashi. But... He seemed more real, as though he wasn't as cold or hard to please. With this in consideration, I admit to Ava that I really liked him (She was driving me crazy with asking. You can only prod an INTJ so much). Of course, Ava being unable to contain herself told him.
Seven days later we began dating.
It was incredibly strange, dating someone again. Recently I found out that Mihael is an ENFP, so I suppose it makes sense that we really got along so well. I ended up opening so much - showing him who I truly was. I always had the impression I was grotesque. But Mihael... He really cared. He made me promise to never cut myself again (Please refrain from calling me emo. I don't dress in black, wear heavy make up or listen to screamo. Even these things are just stereotypes. Self mutilation is not a humorous topic. Those of you who find it funny disgust me) and I made him promise never to use cocaine again. This is the part where I'll zoom forward, to not make you suffer with our mushy romance. Keep in mind that Mihael is still not tangible. And the chances that he someday will be are pretty much zero.
We had been dating for almost seven months, but not quite because he broke up with me on the 25th; the day before out anniversary. I doubt he realized it. He said, "I can't be happy anymore.." Mihael pleaded to still be my friend. I am. But that doesn't mean I accept this. People can't just go around, making me fall in love with them and then leaving me. Mihael... I still love him. He still loves me. It still hurts. The only difference now is that we can't say it to each other. We broke up because we know it will never work unless God helps us. Mihael is not real.
And now you see why I'm an incredibly depressed INTJ that, in almost all my posts or threads say something strange or sad. I have very low self esteem, probably because I am surrounded by people who seem so wonderful, at least to themselves and each other. I apologize if I come off as attention craving, pathetic, lowly... Whatever else you want to call me. I am Seren Fantoma, I am me. And say what you might, edit me in your own view, tell yourself you've affected me... Maybe you have. But I always come back to that lonely little girl, sitting in her room by herself, hating the entire world, wanting to be alone, though yearning to be loved.