[INTJ] INTJ and ISTJ compatibility

INTJ and ISTJ compatibility

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  • 1 Post By Metis
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This is a discussion on INTJ and ISTJ compatibility within the INTJ Forum - The Scientists forums, part of the NT's Temperament Forum- The Intellects category; I've been in incredibly strong like with an INTJ guy for well over a year. And within the last couple ...

  1. #1
    ISTJ - The Duty Fulfillers

    INTJ and ISTJ compatibility

    I've been in incredibly strong like with an INTJ guy for well over a year. And within the last couple of semesters the pile of evidence that he reciprocates has been growing steadily. Due to certain circumstances however, neither of us can really say or do anything about it until next fall. Of course, knowing INTJs, it may take a bit longer even after we're past this roadblock, and I'm completely fine with that.

    Basically what I'd like to know is, although there are a lot of variables, what is your general prognosis for and INTJ and an ISTJ relationship?

    From my aspect, I think it can work. I really appreciate that it's very unlikely that he'll ever emotionally vomit on me or demand a lot of emotional maintenance, it's something he won't have to worry about with me either. I can appreciate his subtleties and they mean more to me than anything ostentatious. This may be presumptuous, but I think to a certain extent I get how he works. And I'm fine with his need for privacy, I don't need to know what he's thinking, etc.

    So what do you all think about ISTJs regarding romantic potential? What do you like about them, what do you dislike or find potentially problematic?

    If you need more details, I'll fill in what I can.
    Thanks in advance.



  2. #2
    INTJ - The Scientists

    From everything i ever read ISTJ are the worst matches for intellectuals. Guardians tend to be more grounded while intellectuals usually live in their work ignoring things most people and society thinks are important. For me i never really got along with guardian they are always the first people to say things are mathematically possible are impossible because its hasn't been done yet which i find unsettlingly to thing you rather enjoy what is rather than what could be.

  3. #3
    ENTJ - The Executives

    The INTJs I know seem to see ISTJs as.. cattles (or worker bees, as my INTJ BFF put it). They find ISTJ's tendency to 'follow along' unattractive and boring, not considering that they would be able to keep up with their abstract-intellect and bursts of mad-scientist pride.

    Depends how N he is, I suppose. If his S and N are pretty balanced, it could work.

  4. #4
    ISTJ - The Duty Fulfillers

    I don't know the specifics of his INTJ qualities. However, I can safely say that I'm generally not a follower. We fence together and within our club I rose very quickly to the position of president and I'm changing a lot of things.

    As far as being a "worker bee" that's true, but I'm not wearing blinders, so to speak, as I work.

    I have a feeling both of our N/S qualities are pretty balanced because we seem to be able to converse deeply and at the same level. I've heard a lot of people comment that they feel left behind in discussions with INTJs, but that's not something I've felt. I While we both fit our categories quite well, I don't think either of us are typical manifestations of out types.

  5. #5
    INTJ - The Scientists

    My experience with ISTJs has mainly been with my roommate, which obviously isn't the same as a romantic relationship, but I feel as though I, personally, would never be attracted to an ISTJ. I know of one guy that I suspect is an ISTJ and we would never work as a couple. However, this is just me.

    If you're both balanced in N/S, then that might make it easier for you guys to relate. My roommate is a pretty strong Sensor. We have some interesting conversations, but I often get frustrated that she can't follow my often abstract and nonlinear thought processes. She often isn't interested in the same odd things that I am and always prefers to do things by the book. That being said, if you are able to have thoughtful and interesting discussions with him, then that's definitely a good sign. The thing that automatically attracts me to someone is when they seem to inherently understand my thoughts and ramblings.
    Turututu thanked this post.

  6. #6
    INTJ - The Scientists

    If you're able to relate intellectually you have a good shot, otherwise Guardian-ness with greatly conflict with the desires of an INTJ. But any combo should work.

  7. #7
    ISTJ - The Duty Fulfillers

    Quote Originally Posted by Metis View Post
    The thing that automatically attracts me to someone is when they seem to inherently understand my thoughts and ramblings.
    I must admit to a considerable degree I feel the same way and ironically enough I am an ISTJ (although sometimes tests show INTJ). I haven't been romantically involved with an INTJ, however I use to chat frequently to an INTJ when I was studying. I became his 'intellectual sparing partner', we'd discuss many things of a profund nature, such as philosophy, theology, anthropology, political philosophy, culture and classical music. He had rather curious ideas it has to be said, some of which I found appalling. However, he didn't mind me being blunt at all and often thanked me for chatting to him despite the fact I had systematically criticised his outlook on some occassions! It was strange: on most things, we had opposing views, however we were firm friends none the less - it was as if he was George Bernard Shaw and I was GK Chesterton lol! Generally, I didn't have much trouble following his line of thought, he knew his stuff, although on occassion, I must admit, I suspected some things he asserted to be factually incorrect.

    I think the INTJ - ISTJ dynamic is a very interesting one - certainly intellectually stimulating! I do think though that INTJ's can give the distinct impression that they are 'intellectually superior' and that lack of grace I find rather irritating, however I guess they are engrossed in a world of ideas and knowledge, similar to some ISTJ's, but different. I think if you share a similar outlook, it may have great promise indeed!
    Last edited by Marcus2x2; 03-28-2010 at 09:15 PM. Reason: Forgot to add something
    fievre thanked this post.

  8. #8
    INTJ - The Scientists

    I am an INTJ male and i am married to an ISTJ. we just took the personality test a few days ago and from what ive read about INTJ's it describes me.

    Anyway we have been together since 2005 and married for almost 2 years now. the best things to be married to my wife is that she knows me. she can read me like a book which is rare for people to do. she knows when i need to be alone and lets me be. she also is one of the only reasons i actually go out and socialize which i believe is the healthy thing to do for a person but i hate going out.

    honestly no one should pick someone to hang out with or date based off of an online test about personality types or what other people think. just go out with who you feel comfortable going out with. if you want to be with your INTJ then be with him, it may take him a while to propose to you though..
    holloko and Savy thanked this post.

  9. #9
    INTJ - The Scientists

    Don't put evidence before theory and you won't clash much.

    Guardians tend to care more for evidence than for what makes sense. Intellectuals care more for what makes sense and use evidence just for support (if they can get any).

    Intellectuals see evidence as misleading. Guardians see imagination (which is the bridge to breakthrough theories) as fantasy. There they clash, because NTs know the importance of imagination and SJs tend not to.

    Try to understand the pros and cons of Si and the pros and cons of Ni, and respect both. The order makes a big difference because of how much importance we give to each function and how we base the rest of our thoughts and feelings off of them. We need to be aware of this and not put each other down.

    --

    On a personal opinion, I think my life would suck with a very marked ISTJ. I wouldn't like a partner discouraging my ideas for lack of evidence and facts to back them up with because I am an INTJ and it's the INTJs nature to think waaaaaaaaaaaaaay ahead of time.
    Last edited by Turututu; 03-29-2010 at 10:06 AM.
    Metis thanked this post.


 

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