I don't hate detail by any means. I think a more accurate way of saying it is that INTJs hate irrelevant details. I am very detail oriented. But all the details I care about are details that actually matter to the project I'm working on. A big part of Ni is analyzing a problem down to the very last detail. So yes detail is a big deal. However, its not the same kind of detail as the ISTJ cares about. For them, detail is things like remembering to do a huge checklist of procedures, where the INTJ will skip parts that can be skipped without serious consequence. We don't give a rip about following the script. We go for whatever is objectively the most efficient method. So here we can see that there are two very different ways of looking at the word "detail".
In an ideal world, the INTJs would use their Ni to come up with all the best procedures and build the most efficient systems. And then the ISTJs would use their Si to actually perform these things and happily follow them to the letter, not really trying to change or improve the system.
The reverse is a disaster. If an ISTJ is in charge of an INTJ, then you've got frustration of both people not in the roles they were designed for. Its like rubbing a cat's fur the wrong way.