INTJ: Burnout

INTJ: Burnout

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This is a discussion on INTJ: Burnout within the INTJ Forum - The Scientists forums, part of the NT's Temperament Forum- The Intellects category; I am just coming out of a couple of years of burnout and laying low and gathering my wits about ...

  1. #1
    INTJ - The Scientists


    INTJ: Burnout

    I am just coming out of a couple of years of burnout and laying low and gathering my wits about me again. I have had family illness (son) injury and illness myself, uni burnout and relationship horror. Just recently I have furthered my endevours on becoming my once kick ass self again.

    My approach? Systematically and irrefutably cut every tie to anything which resembles a "toxic" or a "too hard" relationship...I have alienated a lot of people with my systematic "here is the end to this and the reasons why" I actually feel proud of it as an achievement in a sick way....as I left behind nothing useful. I am now focusing on rebuilding what it means to be me, by writing about what happened and how to avoid it in future endevours.

    I was wondering how many other INTJ's have had a burnout, to what severity, and how they strategise their way out of one. Are they ever as drastic?
    alice144, feral babie, TurquoiseBlue and 1 others thanked this post.



  2. #2
    Unknown Personality

    I can't really say much except, if something is hindering your happiness and/or ability to grow and be free, it should be cut out...like my mom says, ultimately you come first...I've done it before, well once, to people who caused me great anxiety and were basically just giving me something to worry about all day and everyday. A healthy person will only surround themselves with people who make them happy and don't make them feel like they're burdened in any way at all, so it is an achievement when you cut someone out in that respect...they were just people I couldn't mix with and people who made me feel I had to come outside of myself
    bethdeth thanked this post.

  3. #3
    INTJ - The Scientists


    I would have never got into such a stupid situation in the first place if my mind wasn't scrambled by the pain of a cracked disc in my back (There is a cautionary tale!!)

    Most of the time I see people who have hit rough times they get sucked into a vortex of self pity...I honestly had no idea how much it sucked until I started coming out of it and looked around and went....ergh! I just chose to fix it as fast as I could.

    I normally would have thought that an INTJ would strategise a more defensive mode rather than go on a slash and burn technique....I guess those options weren't available at the time....

  4. #4
    INTJ - The Scientists

    Slash and burn is sometimes the most cathartic. I don't think this is uncommon for the INTJ. I had an all-at-once slash and burn of my entire family. I have slowly let parts of them back into my life, but only on my conditional terms.
    bethdeth thanked this post.

  5. #5
    INFP - The Idealists

    I'm an INFP and have had to cut certain toxic people out of my life in the past. You must keep your sanity.
    bethdeth and TurquoiseBlue thanked this post.

  6. #6
    INTJ - The Scientists

    I've only had a few burnouts which were essentially a toxic culmination of academic and social burdens. With most other personality types, people would rely on a strong support network of family of friends to deal with their struggles. INTJs are generally more independent, and self-sufficient. Those two characteristics were on display during my burnouts--I simply took a couple days off to sleep (sleep deprivation was a big part of my meltdown), relax, and gather my head.

    Cutting ties and starting fresh seems like a good approach and a liberating one at that.
    bethdeth thanked this post.

  7. #7
    INTJ - The Scientists

    I have had some difficult periods in my life, due to various reasons. One of these periods went dangerously close to the definition of burnout I've found in scientific literature, due to a combination of personal and professional factors.
    I have always felt the worst when I was under the impression that external factors were heavily driving my life, that I was no longer "free" (even simply to escape). I am not good at waiting. I am not a patient person and knowing that things will eventually get better does not really help if I am not satisfied with the present.
    My strategy: short term - focus on survival. Moderate recourse to a couple of close friends to talk. Trying to remind myself of things that I enjoyed doing before and try to include them as much as possible in my life. I also asked the help of someone close to drag me out even if I resisted, so as to do these things more.
    Medium term - have a new plan. The keyword. If I have no plans I feel terribly uneasy. The worst as I said is feeling that I am stuck, with no convincing options, and that I am abandoned to events. So - review possible plans over and over and finally find a convincing one that my "belly" feels comfortable with. It has taken me a while but eventually I managed.
    The crucial turning point was to finally focus on the good things in my life as opposed to what I was missing. I know it's obvious, but one thing is to tell yourself rationally, another thing is to feel it. As silly as it may sound,the change was triggered by a self-help book that a colleague nearly forced me to read (I would have never bought it myself, but he lent it to me and used a mix of intellectual challenge and emotional blackmail and I thought I'd just read it quickly and get it out of the way). For some bizarre reason that book used the right words at the right moment. I guess I was ready for it. Anyway, I finally felt that I was tired of being unsatisfied and realised that there was a lot I could be happy about. Like a breath of fresh air.
    TurquoiseBlue thanked this post.

  8. #8
    INTJ - The Scientists


    Quote Originally Posted by PseudoSenator View Post
    I've only had a few burnouts which were essentially a toxic culmination of academic and social burdens. With most other personality types, people would rely on a strong support network of family of friends to deal with their struggles. INTJs are generally more independent, and self-sufficient. Those two characteristics were on display during my burnouts--I simply took a couple days off to sleep (sleep deprivation was a big part of my meltdown), relax, and gather my head.

    Cutting ties and starting fresh seems like a good approach and a liberating one at that.
    Can so relate to the self sufficiency...I have the idea that my friends have lives to continue on with.....why burden them with stuff they couldn't help me with anyway??....of course I did this with family as well and got a verbal thrashing for not asking for help...

    I am a bit smug that I reached a satisfactory level of retribution and catharsis without any help or any real vindictiveness....


    Thanks for your replies

  9. #9
    INTJ - The Scientists


    Great problem, greatest opportunity.

  10. #10
    INFJ - The Protectors


    obligations that don't make you happy or in some way develop your character are usually things you should not be focusing on


 
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