[amaurosis]

By what I've seen on a few other threads regarding INTJ/INFP relationships, interaction and what not, both types seem to get along with the other very well (don't get me wrong, though, I've also seen the opposite). However, my question is why?

What interests one type in the other?
Specifically, though, I'm interested in hearing about what it is that draws INTJs to INFPs. Because I know what draws me to INTJs. Though INFPs feel free to post (I'm sure you will anyway ).

So as not to generalize, I'll just speak from experience. What first caught my attention about an INTJ I know (didn't know his type until just recently) was how quiet in observation he was and his air of confidence. The thing was that being around him, I just knew I was "on the outside" and that there was a heck of a lot more going on inside. So after just being "surface friends" for a while and making jokes and stuff we somehow got into deeper conversation. After that started I noticed that he began to observe me more as well. After a while we opened up to each other more and more and now we're pretty close.
For me, I feel extremely privileged to be one of the few that gets let in and I can appreciate so much of what he says. Also knowing that a lot of what he tells me is in confidence brings a lot of value to our friendship.

So what about you INTJs?
Don't destroy me

[Grey]

What may draw me to INFPs initially is their quiet air, and especially how easy-going they appear to be with things. On the positive side, I can find this a refreshing change, as I feel daily friction within my life (admittedly, a good deal my own doing). On the negative side, this sort of thing can appear to make the INFP a complacent, weak individual, which I do not like in the least. I think what honestly surprises and interests me more in an INFP individual is when, after some time, they finally open up and share how strong their inner convictions are - they aren't as easy-going as most would say they are.

To summarize, what I like best of INFPs are their many layers, at least generally. What I dislike of INFPs is how sensitive they can come off as, which, honestly, is just the flip side of their emotional intelligence. There's nothing to be done about it but to try and alter my own responses.

[picablue]

I think what honestly surprises and interests me more in an INFP individual is when, after some time, they finally open up and share how strong their inner convictions are - they aren't as easy-going as most would say they are.

This is just what I love about them. They say these things like "no one should have to suffer." and I'm thinking "yeah in theory, that would be nice, but it's not going to happen." but they are serious about making these very abstract things happen. If find that impressive.

[Varulfr]

My best friend is an INFP. I think she had a similar experience to yours. She has become one of only two people allowed to hug me unconditionally, which I think is rather thrilling for her.

She disapproves of how cynical I am and how poorly I look upon most people, I disapprove of her indecisiveness, naivete and unreasonable trust in the "goodness" of human kind. I find we balance each other out nicely. Anything to excess is a fault, and her love and acceptance tempers well my rather bitter outlook on the world.

[fairydust]

my husband is an intj (i adore him) . he often tells me that what drew him to me was that i thought 'deep'. he likes that we can converse about 'things that matter'.

[priestess]

This is just what I love about them. They say these things like "no one should have to suffer." and I'm thinking "yeah in theory, that would be nice, but it's not going to happen." but they are serious about making these very abstract things happen. If find that impressive.

Yeah. I find the serious tone of these statements endearing and refreshing too.

"no one should have to suffer..."

"I could never abandon anyone..."

"did you feel invalidated when I said that?"

and there are others I can't share or don't remember....

Most people do not share these sentiments or express them with such conviction and honesty. It's special and sweet. That reminds me...Valentine's Day is coming up soon.

[Varulfr]

Valentine's Day is coming up soon.

Bah, Humbug.

[songofcalamity]

i am writing about interactions instead. i don't really remember how we became friends. i don't share a romantic relationship with him ... more of a competitive friendship, but the friendly kind.

Actually it's not very obvious in the sense of brawling/debating stuff... because we are conflict-free people. But when he wants to issue a challenge, he does it subtly or with a rise of his brows or something along the line. And it irritates me to no end (because most of the times I always lose). e.g once I was doing a maths worksheet, he happens to have the worksheet. And while I was doing the paper, he kept asking me what qns I was on... turns out he was trying to compete to see who finished the ws first because when he was before me, he kept giving me that idiotic grin that says HAHA I'M LEADING SUCKER. or another occasion where he raise his brow and issues a challenge to see who can read that person's motive faster. but the thing is he is almost always has an advantage before he issues any challenges, and it's not fair, not like he cares. but haha, today, he was the recipient of the HAHA I WIN SUCKER grin. and if he hadn't kept complaining to my friend and ours when they approached him, I wouldn't have felt so smug. it feels good to be the winner for once.

he is cynical, but i like his humour, we kind of like sick humour and irony. and deep conversations seem like a N thing, but my ENFP friends don't really like to talk about deep stuff and about the future when it is not of ~the time, so I usually talk to INTJ about such stuff.

[Persephone]

INFPs and I are mutually attracted to each other in terms of friendship, however, romantically, I seem to draw the INFPs. In relationships, however, our differences blow up, and it ends in our mutual withdrawal into our shells, eventually leading to break up.

[Alysaria]

My INFP friend "beats up" my INTJ friend just to assert her dominance. He's married to an INFJ who's best friends with the INFP and is also dominant. Hehe