[INTJ] INFJ and INTJ compatibility?

INFJ and INTJ compatibility?

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This is a discussion on INFJ and INTJ compatibility? within the INTJ Forum - The Scientists forums, part of the NT's Temperament Forum- The Intellects category; I was curious how INFJ's and INTJ's get along. Sometimes I test as an INFJ and others as an INTJ. ...

  1. #1
    INFJ - The Protectors


    INFJ and INTJ compatibility?

    I was curious how INFJ's and INTJ's get along. Sometimes I test as an INFJ and others as an INTJ. I was wondering how the two get along and the differences?



  2. #2
    INTJ - The Scientists

    My daughter is an INFJ and I consider her my closest friend. I try to keep her level headed as she thinks with her heart a lot of the time, and she tries to get calls me out if I'm not showing enough empathy.

    She worries about not having lots of close friends. I am happy to not have a lot of close friends.
    She is very sensitive to the feelings of animals to the point of being a vegetarian (which seems to be a common INFJ thing). I probably could easily go to vegetarianism but it would certainly not be for the same reasons.
    She says "I feel" a lot. I say "I think a lot.
    She changes herself for guys or tries to. I couldn't give a flying fig about changing myself. I am who I am.
    She can be very moody and emotional. I rarely, if ever am.

    We're so very different but so much the same in most things.
    Btmangan thanked this post.

  3. #3
    INTJ - The Scientists



    Figure, being and noel345 thanked this post.

  4. #4
    INTJ - The Scientists

    I'm friends with one of those ultra-rare male INFJ's, and I find we have very deep interactions. It's actually a little bit awkward. It's like we "go too far" with each other, intellectually and personally. We understand each other so well, and it's great, but Ni-dominants are not used to sharing and being understood. A ten-minute, one-on-one conversation with him can get more intimate than two hours with anyone else, and honestly it's not comfortable. We haven't even known each other very long, yet we know each other better than I'd ever expected. About six months after we first met, we both said we loved the other. So yeah, we get along extremely well, but we can't do it all the time.

    Now that I think of it, there is an element of sexual tension in there. I think that's part of the discomfort.
    Btmangan, donkeybals, Joon and 7 others thanked this post.

  5. #5
    INTJ - The Scientists

    Quote Originally Posted by dingo View Post
    I'm friends with one of those ultra-rare male INFJ's, and I find we have very deep interactions. It's actually a little bit awkward. It's like we "go too far" with each other, intellectually and personally. We understand each other so well, and it's great, but Ni-dominants are not used to sharing and being understood. A ten-minute, one-on-one conversation with him can get more intimate than two hours with anyone else, and honestly it's not comfortable. We haven't even known each other very long, yet we know each other better than I'd ever expected. About six months after we first met, we both said we loved the other. So yeah, we get along extremely well, but we can't do it all the time.

    Now that I think of it, there is an element of sexual tension in there. I think that's part of the discomfort.
    When I was sixteen I met a male INFJ at a summer camp. Our paths for the most part never crossed but at the last party (two days before the camp ended) we got bored and started talking. We started with generic things, commenting on the party and people's behaviors. And then I don't even know how it happened, we spoke until 10 PM to 6 AM in the morning, and then we watched the sunrise together. The "next day" (because it's the same day) we got together again and spoke until we couldn't anymore, that is, until we parted ways and those were the most intense, most wonderful two days of my life. I kept looking back at him as the bus pulled away and fell for him, hard, during the year (because we kept talking).

    I met him again next year and there was definitely sexual tension in the air. At first it was awkward but our conversation got all funky and intimate as before and started holding hands under the table and behind our backs. When we had to part ways again he tried to kiss me on the cheeks but it ended up on my mouth instead, not that I really minded. When people talk about the "magic" of romance I thought it must be it. I think due to circumstances it was never meant to be because he's on another continent, but I wonder if I'll ever meet anyone like him again.

    I know you're both guys so it must be pretty strange for me to share a quasi-sexual experience with an INFJ male, but it's just that I completely know what it's like, about the "sexual tension" and the intimacy. I think it's less uncomfortable for me because I'm a straight female and he's a straight male. It's not an encounter I'd soon forget.
    donkeybals, missushoney, Perhaps and 3 others thanked this post.

  6. #6
    INTJ - The Scientists

    Quote Originally Posted by Persephone View Post
    When I was sixteen I met a male INFJ at a summer camp. Our paths for the most part never crossed but at the last party (two days before the camp ended) we got bored and started talking. We started with generic things, commenting on the party and people's behaviors. And then I don't even know how it happened, we spoke until 10 PM to 6 AM in the morning, and then we watched the sunrise together. The "next day" (because it's the same day) we got together again and spoke until we couldn't anymore, that is, until we parted ways and those were the most intense, most wonderful two days of my life. I kept looking back at him as the bus pulled away and fell for him, hard, during the year (because we kept talking).

    I met him again next year and there was definitely sexual tension in the air. At first it was awkward but our conversation got all funky and intimate as before and started holding hands under the table and behind our backs. When we had to part ways again he tried to kiss me on the cheeks but it ended up on my mouth instead, not that I really minded. When people talk about the "magic" of romance I thought it must be it. I think due to circumstances it was never meant to be because he's on another continent, but I wonder if I'll ever meet anyone like him again.
    Wow, that sounds amazing!

    Quote Originally Posted by Persephone View Post
    I know you're both guys so it must be pretty strange for me to share a quasi-sexual experience with an INFJ male, but it's just that I completely know what it's like, about the "sexual tension" and the intimacy. I think it's less uncomfortable for me because I'm a straight female and he's a straight male. It's not an encounter I'd soon forget.
    That really is the thing.

    I wonder what it might be like to date an INFJ, because I know that psychic connection is there, in a big way. I don't know of any female INFJ's in my life, or even that I've met.

  7. #7
    INTJ - The Scientists

    Wait I'm confused, Dingo are you gay straight or somewhere inbetween? If gay, why was the sexual tension awkward? This is all sorts of *woooooosh* over my head right now >.<

    *Edit: OHHHH you're straight. Okay nvm move along. Jesus christ my mind right now...

  8. #8
    INTJ - The Scientists

    Quote Originally Posted by L'Empereur View Post


    Heavens, I was afraid someone would post those videos.

    Yes, we had quite the Ni extravanagza, as you can see. The differences (especially Te and Fe) were also quite well-exhibited too, especially as they depart from stereotype - Te as wanting external logical consistency, and Fe as wanting external emotional consistency.

    After the video, we were both quite mentally tired, as Ni had run its course. I find that this happens quite frequently with my INFJ friends. The differences that are less-harmonious, which would not be evident in this video's scope, tend to occur when implementing the same project. I tend to implement my vision by classifying, categorizing, and producing - sometimes without much regard to others - whereas an INFJ would harmonize, catalyze, and produce - sometimes without much regard to efficiency or profit/value.

    As a whole though, I love INFJ, and it's an intensely deep, long-lasting kind of relationship. I really value the support and kindness of the INFJ I know.

  9. #9
    INTJ - The Scientists

    My best friend (and one of my) and college roommate in college was a male INFJ. We've grown apart now as life has taken us in different directions.

    I think he was a much stronger introvert than I was because I wanted to do more things then he did. (Though I think his gf may absorbed all his social interaction time.)

    He was studying computer science, and INTJs, well think like computers!

    As @dingo mentioned, the conversations were epic. They would last for hours and they would be simultaneously serious and funny. It was impossible to keep the conversations going linearly, something we would routinely joke about.

    Also, as Dingo mentioned (sort of) it was a dynamic that I wanted to find in a romantic relationship as well. But I haven't found that until I started really talking with a INFP girl. It has that same amazing funny/serious dynamic that I first found with my INFJ friend.

    For differences, the INFJ friend seemed to always attract a lot of girls who wanted to share their feelings and struggles with them. People rarely came to me for that.

    Also, he was much less confrontational that INTJs are. He was big on conflict avoidance, and frequently just avoided arguments.
    prsvrnc and Kharyzmatiq thanked this post.

  10. #10
    INTP - The Thinkers

    Quote Originally Posted by Man_With_No_Name View Post
    I was curious how INFJ's and INTJ's get along. Sometimes I test as an INFJ and others as an INTJ. I was wondering how the two get along and the differences?
    YES! Is all I can say. jk

    Seriously though, I am INFJ and I love INTJ's. I love ENTJ's too and I'm starting to learn more about ENTP's and they seem nice too. I don't know much more about the other types though. The biggest problem for me is INTJ's can be a little closed, especially the guys. Or they can be aloof one moment and all nice the next. They enjoy talking about their accomplishments, like if they got a new job or did well on a test. I'm usually happy to hear about them doing well and that's one way to get them talking. They also start talking when presented a debate topic. One of my INTJ friends couldn't wait to disprove my theory that if aliens exist, God has to exist too. (he was athiest but believed that other forms of life existed) Another friend wanted me to see that being with a sensory person was the most horrible thing that could happen to me so he went on and on. Another thing they do is dismiss a topic when they don't feel like talking about it anymore. Instead of trying to continue talking about it, I just get quiet. That leads them to start up another conversation and you can kind of ease back into the topic again if it ended on a bad note. Well, these are just some tricks I've learned.

    When you think of your future do you focus on things all coming together on their own and just enjoying what life brings? Eventually everything will work out even if things get bumpy and you have moments of doubt. You're exceptionally smart, mature for your age and impatient about things and people you think are pointless. It seems like your feelings are lacking because you don't quite know how to understand them. You might find a really "feely" person to be a light in your darkness.

    Or do you constantly worry about what will happen in the future and if you'll find love, have the life you want, etc? You know things are going alright but you can't shake the feeling that you're not doing something you should be doing, and when things get bumpy you feel like it just confirms your thoughts. You're smart, mature at times but childish as well, you really are whatever you feel like being at the time. You're confused and stressed by your own mind and the fact that your ideas about life may never come true. Feelings are felt too deeply or not at all at times and you feel like you're spiraling out of control. You may find a thinker to be a nice solid structure in your life who helps you stay grounded.

    Do you find yourself feeling mostly cynical and trying to hold on to the optimism and good things in life so you don't fall into depression?

    Or do you feel mostly optimistic but a cynical feeling pulls you down constantly and a part of you thinks that deep down, you'll never be really right in the world?

    I think if you feel like the 1st and 3rd question, you're more on the INTJ side and the 2nd and 4th show more of an INFJ.
    Mankaroni and Antichrist thanked this post.


 
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