[Wendy]

I wanted to reach out to you INTJs...
When you ask a friend for advice, what are you looking for in an answer? I know a lot of my friends of different types get mad when they ask for advice but my advice isn't supportive enough or whatever. I really cherish my INTJ friend so when he is asking me for advice is it best to be blunt or to be kind and supportive?
Also, I'm trying to get a feel for how much he values me as a friend- By him asking me for advice is he showing that he really cares about me and my opinion? I find it uncommon for INTJs to ask for other people's opinions.

Any comments are welcome :)

[Pavane]

Well it depends on the person. I think he might trust you enough to confide in you I guess. I've noticed that when I ask for advice (which is rare), I'm not always going to follow what my friends tell me. I've subconsciously decided what I'm going to do and I just do it. I guess that's how I figure out which friends know what they're talking about and which "friends" I need to watch out for. That's how I filter out people who just like to appease rather than tell me what I need to hear like a helpful person would. But be really blunt and tell him what he needs to hear. Telling him what he wants to hear would be doing him more harm than good.

[JackParrish]

In general, if you're talking to a real INTJ, if they ask for advice they are looking for EXACTLY WHAT THEY ARE ASKING FOR. There's little ego in our processing in general, and there's generally not some elaborate "I'm going to ask this, but really I want that" sort of thing happening.

You can more or less trust our requests.

[Wizardry]

Yeah, I'm usually seeking for a no bullshit "this is what I'm seeing here" sort of thing. You can comfort with a pat on the back or a soothing tone of voice but offer what you see as the truth. There shouldn't be any getting mad AT YOU because its not what he wants to hear. He might appear a bit frustrated at the information but if its what he needs to get somewhere or resolve something its required and much more useful than just fluffing useless crap.

[Tristan427]

In general, if you're talking to a real INTJ, if they ask for advice they are looking for EXACTLY WHAT THEY ARE ASKING FOR. There's little ego in our processing in general, and there's generally not some elaborate "I'm going to ask this, but really I want that" sort of thing happening.

You can more or less trust our requests.

However if it is a sensitive problem that involves emotion, they may get angry if they don't hear what they want to hear. But they will appreciate and TRUST you more because of it.

[JackParrish]

However if it is a sensitive problem that involves emotion, they may get angry if they don't hear what they want to hear. But they will appreciate and TRUST you more because of it.

It's like you're speaking Farsi to me. What is this emotional anger you speak of, and can I get it in green?

[Pavane]

It's like you're speaking Farsi to me. What is this emotional anger you speak of, and can I get it in green?

Not all INTJ's are emotionless robots, they just keep a tighter lid on their emotions and don't feel the need to wear thier hearts on their sleeves 24/7. When it comes to the people they actually care about they might be a little bit more emotional around these people. It just depends on the person.

And everyone knows emotional anger comes in blood red. So no you can't have it in green.

[Tristan427]

It's like you're speaking Farsi to me. What is this emotional anger you speak of, and can I get it in green?

I can't tell if you're being funny, or trying to act like you are the INTJ stereotype incarnate, but I'm leaning more towards funny.

[Tess]

When I ask for advice (emotional or not) I usually already know what I want to do~ I'm just looking for an alternate point of view... to see if I've perhaps missed something. I cant speak for other INTJ'S though, we're not all exactly the same.

[JackParrish]

I can't tell if you're being funny, or trying to act like you are the INTJ stereotype incarnate, but I'm leaning more towards funny.

I promise you I am the opposite of "INTJ stereotype incarnate."