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INTJ relationships

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This is a discussion on INTJ relationships within the INTJ Articles forums, part of the INTJ Forum - The Scientists category; People are always telling me how I'm weird, but in a good way. XD I've began taking the words weird, ...

  1. #11
    INTJ - The Scientists

    People are always telling me how I'm weird, but in a good way. XD I've began taking the words weird, strange, quirky, and nerdy as compliments.

    Once you master the art of acting, which is a very important skill for an INTJ to learn if they wish to one day rule the world, it's fairly easy to attract other types. There is downside to acting though, you could go overboard with the acting and the person your trying to convince may fall in love with who you aren't. No point in dating someone who isn't in love with the real you. You can always be just flat out truthful about yourself as well.
    BeanDelphiki, PurpleTree, Mr strategy and 1 others thanked this post.

  2. #12
    INTP - The Thinkers

    I found this funny.

    On our relationship list, we have:
    "Although two well-developed individuals of any type can enjoy a healthy relationship, the INTJ's natural partner is the ENFP, or the ENTP."

    On ENFP, they have:
    Good matches for an ENFP include other Intuitive Feeling types (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ). When paired together, Intuitive Feeling types have one of the highest rates of couple satisfaction of all possible combinations.

    On ENTP, they have:
    (ENTP)
    If You Are Female, Your Best Matches Are:
    ENTJs: Generals
    If You Are Male, Your Best Matches Are:
    INTPs: Scholars
    ESTPs: Wheeler-Dealers
    If You Want to Win the Heart of Your Ideal Mate, Do the Following:
    ENTJs:
    *Dress your best; ENTJs are fastidious about your appearance.
    *Be ready to engage in a fiery debate about almost anything.
    *Sharpen your wit and be prepared to lampoon any silly, pompous, or hypocritical person or situation you observe.
    *Keep your cool when ENTJs use their famous acidic wit to roast you; tease them back and win their affection.
    INTPs:
    *Appeal to their craving for new ideas, theories, and systems (eg. give them a book on a topic they know little about and then discuss it with them).
    *Join them on intellectually stimulating dates such as a visit to a science museum or computer fair.
    *Engage them in intellectual discussion and debate on any topic they are interested in.
    *Respect their uniquely analytical way of looking at the world.
    ESTPs:
    *Join them on any of their favorite fun activities: dancing, gambling, diving, jet skiing, and so on.
    *Don't be overly possessive: they love to flirt and can't stand anyone who doesn't allow them to be social.
    *Put your foot down, however, when they are being too flirtatious; they respect a mate who won't let them get away with excessive extra-curricular flirting that may lead to an affair.
    *Encourage them to do what they do best: entertain you and make you laugh until you cry.

    We aren't listed as ideal relationships for those who we have listed. xD
    Zero11, L'Empereur, BeanDelphiki and 1 others thanked this post.

  3. #13
    INTJ - The Scientists

    Quote Originally Posted by autumnbree03 View Post
    I feel you on this one, I've noticed that as well, it takes a hell-of-a man to take on an INTJ women, and by god they'd better be pretty secure in themselves or we tend to inadvertently crush them.
    That is something I say as well, very often. You have to be a good man to put up with me. I have a hard time dealing with emotional men. Here is some insight into what at least one INTJ woman likes in a man. These are things a man has to have for me to take even a slight interest.

    1) Intelligence/not boring book smart, only! I can read.
    2) Confident/not vain. I like talking about myself too!
    3) Passionate/not an emotional crybaby. I 'm not good with emotion because I can't figure it out. Selfishness I guess.

    I have yet to find a man who fits into this category. Passion, I think, is hard to find in a man because they confuse it with emotion. Two different animals guys! I am also a scorpio and that just drives all of this home for me.
    Last edited by mshatch; 05-16-2009 at 06:43 AM. Reason: Thought wasn't complete

  4. #14
    Unknown Personality

    Quote Originally Posted by xackery View Post
    We aren't listed as ideal relationships for those who we have listed. xD
    *lol* There we go, yes. I found this funny, too.

    Ah, but good to see that there is finally a text that suggests ENFPs. A lot of people told me to try with one; but most descriptions claim to know better than putting us with ENFPs. So, this is refreshing for me.
    As for ENTPs...Oy. Well, if they are mild. I just had a RS with an ENTP and it failed. Even though I am balanced we made a bad match. Or maybe BECAUSE I am balanced. Who knows. *shrug*
    PurpleTree thanked this post.

  5. #15
    INTP - The Thinkers

    Quote Originally Posted by AdWard View Post
    Don't INTJ men turn most women away as well?
    My INTJ boyfriend didn't turn me away, he was just oblivious for the five months that I had liked him.
    I think as an ENTP, me and him make a perfect match...even though I never thought that I would be together with an INTJ. I guess it all depends on the couple, although, being with an INTJ has been the best relationship that I have ever been in.

    Quote Originally Posted by mshatch View Post
    That is something I say as well, very often. You have to be a good man to put up with me. I have a hard time dealing with emotional men. Here is some insight into what at least one INTJ woman likes in a man. These are things a man has to have for me to take even a slight interest.

    1) Intelligence/not boring book smart, only! I can read.
    2) Confident/not vain. I like talking about myself too!
    3) Passionate/not an emotional crybaby. I 'm not good with emotion because I can't figure it out. Selfishness I guess.

    I have yet to find a man who fits into this category. Passion, I think, is hard to find in a man because they confuse it with emotion. Two different animals guys! I am also a scorpio and that just drives all of this home for me.
    well, it sounds like you need an entp or a fire sign (if you go by astrology)
    Last edited by Trope; 06-06-2009 at 09:49 AM.

  6. #16
    INFJ - The Protectors

    i must say i love INTJ's, and maybe i have a bias yet a good reason for that. Others said that you are somewhat disconnected, or unresponsive, or non reactive, but i totally disagree. We just need to dig deeeper, right? coz there's really a treasure there. you are like a piece of art in terms of emotions, maybe an abstract one, that needs to see every detail in order to be completely appreciated. You guys are very good in negotiating, you have a tremendous ability to adjust here and there for a good cause, usualy for loveones, you are capable of doing everything for the sake of love once you truly found it and very generous in sharing what you have inside, in the safe environment of loveones, you lavished those people who are dear to you not just in material things but with your affection,verbally or phisically. your loyalty is unquestionable, and you are for keeps, and once you're there, you just become glued forever.
    Antagonist, decided, PurpleTree and 2 others thanked this post.

  7. #17
    INTJ - The Scientists

    Quote Originally Posted by Charlie Chaotic View Post
    My INTJ boyfriend didn't turn me away, he was just oblivious for the five months that I had liked him.
    I think as an ENTP, me and him make a perfect match...even though I never thought that I would be together with an INTJ. I guess it all depends on the couple, although, being with an INTJ has been the best relationship that I have ever been in.
    As an INTJ guy looking for a good match, this is nice to hear.

    I'm gonna go on for a moment about my recent relationship experiences with hopes that an INTJ can relate, and another type can comment...

    I've noticed that i've never found myself interested in casual relationships. If i dont get that connection with the other person or i know it'll never last, i dont pursue it, and i resume searching...and i can be quite critical when it comes to selection. Recently something began with an ENFJ girl, but i ended it before it really began, because she was better as a friend and not the right balance for a relationship.

    As for my best relationship to date, it was with an ESFJ...though ultimately it was not going to last, her compassion and heart felt emotion was pleasant (most of the time haha).

    I have yet to have a relationship with an ENFP, but idea seems promising...and because other type descriptions have been accurate in my past experiences, i have hope for success.

    I know INTJ's come off as serious and generally absent of heart felt emotional expression, but speaking for myself, ive always looked at that side as something reserved for an intimate relationship. Perhaps my reasons are for comfort or control, but we are not cold hearted beings...just more guarded beings (for logical reasons).
    Zero11 and anonimouze123 thanked this post.

  8. #18
    INTJ - The Scientists


    Quote Originally Posted by TheMacs View Post
    I've noticed that i've never found myself interested in casual relationships. If i dont get that connection with the other person or i know it'll never last, i dont pursue it, and i resume searching...and i can be quite critical when it comes to selection. Recently something began with an ENFJ girl, but i ended it before it really began, because she was better as a friend and not the right balance for a relationship.
    I find myself doing the same thing. at 20 years, I'm supposed to be willing to jump in and out of relationships looking for the right one (or so it seems...) but I just can't let myself do that. I just spent around 3 months in a relationship that I never intended to go long-term with, and it about drove me crazy until I just broke it off. Doesn't mean I didn't get really attached in that time frame, I just knew I couldn't keep up the act like it would go on indefinitely. I'm realizing as I read around here, I'm pretty sure he was an SP. If I guessed completely (not knowing his MBTI) I'd say ISFP. I'm realizing now why I couldn't keep it up...me, I like to have lots of plans. He's more spontaneous and balances all his actions on how it makes him feel. Ick, emotions!

  9. #19
    INTJ - The Scientists

    We INTJ's tend to not do well with short relationships because we are emotionally defensive. Furthermore, if we feel a threat we will immediately put the emotions back into their box and start using our brains at the wrong times :)
    autumnbree03, vanWinchester, Zero11 and 1 others thanked this post.

  10. #20
    INTJ - The Scientists


    Quote Originally Posted by InvisibleJim View Post
    We INTJ's tend to not do well with short relationships because we are emotionally defensive. Furthermore, if we feel a threat we will immediately put the emotions back into their box and start using our brains at the wrong times :)
    I can't even begin to count how many times I've used my brain when I should have been having one of those "but how does it make you FEEL" moments. Oh, to be a thinker...I'm pretty sure my emotions only make it to the top of the box. Not quite out. Not yet, anyway.


 
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