[jd_]

Yet, in the states... most of the time I hear people complaining, it is about irrelevant stuff to the big picture. Maybe I am one of the positive types, but I am usually like get over yourselves...
Reminds me of the whole "First world problems" meme.
Pain should of course be acknowledged but nobody likes a whiner who is doing it all the time and thinks the world is out to get them.

[Anthoric]

Hmm, Hmm, touchy subject.

I think the trick really is to balance the positive and the negitive, feel sorrow, but don't succumb to it. Feel happiness, but don't let it blind you.

On the grand scale things do work out as they should, just because they don't work out the way you want or in the time you want them to dosen't mean they don't work out, though this should not be interpeted as "Well hell let's just do whatever." Because that throws away any reason to be here, any reason to improve upon ourselves. Life is really simple, but we inist on making it complicated.

People do this fake positivity thing either as a legitimate though ill placed way to help, or because they are in serious denial about something.

And to add to the rant, I hate when people say I'm whining when I tell the grim, but neccisairy truth, or speak about my feelings and they aren't "I'm super ultra happy and will stay this way forever.", it's as if people want to be lied to. Yes sometimes I repeat said feelings or truth several times over but that is my way of signaling for help, a way of expressing distress, it's not sitting there complaining for the sake of complaining, alas, no one seems to understand it. They all just want to live their lies and be as empty as possible, sad really, they are not machine people, with machine hearts and machine minds!

[niki]

For me, authenticity & real honesty is everything.

there's no use of *trying* to feel happy & optimistic if I'm really NOT happy.
there's also no use of *trying* to feel "oh this world (or life) is soo beautiful!" when in reality it's not, and also when in reality, we DO live in a f*cked-up world these days.

I'm not that kind of person who can easily fake happiness & optimism.
I'm being real Honest with my feelings & mind.

I blame it largely to the LOA (Law of Attraction) trend these days lately.

Yes, LOA is good,
but unfortunately, I've seen so many people too quickly misunderstand it, that it sadly turned them into an ignorant, mindless people that can't differentiate between REAL happiness and FAKE (made-up/superficial/forced) happiness.

and people forget that they are humans with SAD, angry feelings too, not "positive-thinking / happy" robot/machine ALL (100%) the time !

The sad thing I see is: People don't seem to think too much these days,
all they do is just TRY to "be happy 100% all the time, yayyy!", while they are ignoring the BIGGER reality of life, like those millions of hungry, poor kids dying in Africa !

What,..they think being happy all-the-time can automatically CHANGE the world instantly??...sigh....'Instant Generation' problem!

There are definitely *MORE* things to think and do, to change your Life (and also change the world for better), than just being a "happy robot" .

For me personally, IMHO :
Law of Attraction (LOA), even positive-thinking & optimism is useless, if it only makes you a "happy robot" while being Ignorant to the BIGGER-reality of life to Think & Solve!

What do you think?

[Sai]

i agree, faking being happy suxs. The only thing i can say is that you should try to see the bright side, and if there is no bright side just laugh about your own misery :)
if not just be bitter, being angry and mean can make you feel good, not happy but better than being depressed.

[Kito]

I understand what you mean, some people feel better when they're aware of the negativity in the world whereas others don't feel comfortable facing it all the time, and so keep a more positive outlook. As long as they don't try to force their views on each other, it's easy to get along.

[Aqualung]

I remember years ago they had a pep rally every stinking day after work. After 12 hours of loading heavy boxes on trucks as fast as I could for minimum wage I just wanted to go home. But no, we had to listen to some idiot with a bull horn screaming "We can do it! We're wonderful! We're a success! Everything's amazing!" And we were told to stand, applaud, scream & jump up & down. Because we were......"Excited! Yay! YAAAAY!" Good grief that sucked!! And we had to fake smiles or get glared at. This went on for an hour! Didn't get paid for it either. Some got fired for trying to sneak out & go home. They had a drawing for a candy bar or something & the winner always went apeshit like he won the Superbowl. At first I just sat on the floor & laughed. And got glared at by all the "excited team players". It felt so good to leave that zoo for a real job when I got the chance. On my last day I went out the door going "YAAAAY! I'm excited!" Anyway, yeah fake happiness sucks. Especially when it's demanded.

[Belovodia]

I have found that 'Happy Robots' are usually in for some ugly surprises somewhere down
the track!

It's no use masking pain with superficial 'positive thoughts', but acknowledging underlying
negative emotions and feeling them, can lead to a genuine positivity.

[DaDiggler]

Ok you will probably hate me for this and I will probably get banned for this.

You should stop visiting this forum. You seem like a guy that is brainwashed by the self help industry, I would say a majority of the people here are wrong and you should not take advice from anyone here. There is no difference between fake and real happiness, the self help industry has got you to think this way, but its wrong. There is only one type of happiness. LOA is bullshit and you should not view happiness in the way yo do right now. I don't know if you are religious or not but I'm going to assume that you aren't. Think of self help and the stuff people post here as a religion.

Happiness is just an emotion, it's not a goal or something you should strive for, and it's definitely not something you have to work at.

[OrangeAppled]

^ I actually read his post as rejecting the self-help industry...

When he says "fake" happiness, I think he means people who aren't happy based on anything real, but are just deluding themselves and are really only experiencing the absence of negativity, not the true fulfillment & satisfaction of happiness. So yes, there is only one "happiness", but there are ways people avoid dealing with unhappiness that they try to pass for happiness because they so desperately want it (or whatever reason).

I personally don't believe that happiness is only an emotion (that is your philosophy & possibly as wrong as anyone else's here). An emotion is experienced in a moment. For instance, a person can have moments of sadness & still be genuinely happy in their life because they have a sense of fulfillment, satisfaction, purpose, etc. And this is what I think Niki is saying - that a denial of negative feelings & negativity in general is not happiness in itself; and experiencing & acknowledging negative feelings & negativity is not incompatible with being happy. Positivity does not equal happiness and vice versa, and especially so when positivity is based on delusions, a white-washing of reality to avoid dealing with its negative aspects.

[under skies]

I don't believe in being "fake happy" and tricking yourself into thinking you're content when, really, you're not really thinking at all and you're just sort of empty on the inside.

That being said, I do feel that happiness is often something you have to strive for. I've been through some rough patches in my life, and it used to really piss me off when people would say, "You know, you have to choose to be happy," but as I've gotten older, I do see things more that way. I think it has a lot to do with perspective and the things on which you choose to focus. There are always going to be things that suck and things you can be unhappy about. Conversely, there are also always things to be happy about. It's unrealistic to say you're not going to worry about the fact that you're going into debt or that your mother is sick and in the hospital, but you can be really happy about a lot of things that you probably take for granted, like clean drinking water, indoor plumbing, having enough food to eat, an Internet connection that gives you unlimited access to an unlimited source of knowledge and expression... Those are HUGE things--and not everybody has them (not even a majority of the people in the world do). You might not get excited about them if you've always had them or you've had them for a long time. There are other things, too.

My thing is, I get into ruts, and then I just have to stop and think about the little things that cheer me up and all of the big things that I know I should be thankful for but that I'm not taking the time to appreciate. That can be really humbling and tends to change my mood. After that, I just listen to some music I like or watch a film that makes me feel really nostalgic or whatever.

Anyway, yeah, there is likely a form of "fake positive-thinking" for those who simply choose not to deal with reality, but optimism and appreciation/thankfulness, in general, isn't inauthentic, unintelligent, or an invalid approach to life. I would argue that there is much to be gained from *trying* to be happy. In fact, I think if you never *try* to be happy, it can be very hard to ever truly be happy, because you might find yourself looking for it in the wrong places, just getting the temporary highs...