[INFP] INFP female INTj male?

INFP female INTj male?

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This is a discussion on INFP female INTj male? within the INFP Forum - The Idealists forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; Would that be a good match for me? I'm intrigued by them because of their ability to make rational decisions ...

  1. #1
    INFP - The Idealists

    INFP female INTj male?

    Would that be a good match for me? I'm intrigued by them because of their ability to make rational decisions and a cynical edge and one in particular I find attractive. They have a sarcastic charm I find endearing...But is this a far fetched pipe dream merging NFP with NTJ or could this be an interesting match?
    I feel like I should make a poll for this own<3 maybe?



  2. #2
    ENTJ - The Executives

    I think it could a be a very good match, at least speaking within my own experiences. Believe me, NF's excite INTJs as much as INTJs excite you. For me, I'm mostly drawn to ENFPs and INFPs. I enjoy the kinds of conversations we have; fanciful, creative, different, and stimulating. I can't imagine myself being in the company of another INTJ for too long, as I think they will be too much like me and if they were, we'd never talk or even look at each other. ENFPs and INFPs are bright and refreshing, always coming up with the greatest ideas which we INTJs can build upon.

    Personally, I think it is a great match (not without its downfalls, of course, but those will always exist between any pairing or any two types).

  3. #3
    INFP - The Idealists

    It all boils down the the individual INTJ. Be wary of not idealizing said INTJ just because you are initially liking him this much, nor expect him to be totally the way you wish he was (I.E. accept him for who he is.) If you want a theoretical opinion, it's supposed to be a good match, with the proviso that the individual is a good match for you in the first place, being the person you deserve in your life.

    Theories are theories, though. :) All pairings must eventually work out their differences and similarities, and if there's enough love and commitment to see it work, any other coupling may also be a great fit. I myself don't know many NT ladies, and am usually drawn to NFs instead.
    amethyst_butterfly, locofoco, bromide and 1 others thanked this post.

  4. #4
    INFP - The Idealists

    I am going to share this information from this lovely book called "Just Your Type". This information is very general and does not apply to everyone since people are unique but this is to give you an idea.


    The Joys

    INTJs and INFPs share a strong intellectual connection, which is often a source of great satisfaction. Both tend to have vivid imaginations and rich inner lives. Their mutual interest in possibilities and their ability to see how things relate give them a shared perspective that most find very stimulating. Essentially, both partners have a deep curiosity about theories, a great facility with complex ideas, and a tendency to focus on the new and the future. Discussing abstract concepts or global issues makes them feel in sync with each other. Additionally INTJs and INFPs share a strong need for privacy and independence within the relationship. They understand and respect each other's desire for time alone and the chance to concentrate deeply and think things through fully. Since neither type tends to need a lot of outside stimulation, they often meet their social needs by spending time with a small group of close friend or colleagues.

    INFPs and INTJs tend to be quiet, intense couples who place a high value on respect and individuality. When conflicts arise they tend to mull things over separately first, then discuss things calmly and quietly. At their best, they are willing to listen fully and respectfully to each other and share their well considered viewpoints.

    INTJs and INFPs are also attracted to each other because of their differences. INTJs are drawn to the warmth, compassion and gentleness of INFPs while INFPs are often attracted to the sense of purpose, conviction, and confidence of INTJs. Also because of their differences, they have the opportunity to help each other grow and develop in important ways. INTJs help INFPs become more objective in their decision making and more organised, which helps them complete more of their projects. Many INFPs also credit their partners with helping them become more assertive. For their part, INFPs often help INTJs see the human impact of their decisions and develop an increased sensitivity and patience in all their relationships. INTJs frequently say that their partners add a rich and deeply intimate dimension to their lives and make it easier for them to understand and express their feelings.


    I will soon post the Frustrations between these two.
    Last edited by amethyst_butterfly; 05-24-2012 at 07:13 AM.

  5. #5
    INFP - The Idealists

    The Frustrations

    Generally, the most common conflicts for INTJs and INFPs stem from their different needs for closure. Issues about order, time and accountability tend to dog this couple. INTJs can be real sticklers for neatness, while INFPs usually don't care about or even notice the clutter on the kitchen counter, the piles of books beside the bed, or the missing check in the check book. INTJs are often exacting and even controlling about the ways things ought to be maintained insisting that chores be completed in order and finances be carefully controlled. Different attitudes about time also create tension for these couples. INTJs tend to be prompt and focuses on work and productivity, while INFPs have a more leisurely and easygoing approach to life, accommodating extenuating circumstances and enjoying spontaneous opportunities in everyday life. But INFPs also find themselves running late and struggling to be better organised. Although INTJs usually have plenty of advice for eliminating inefficiency, INFPs are rarely interested in actually implementing any of the logical time management strategies INTJs recommend. And since INFPs tend to take everything very personally, they quiet easily and frequently get their feelings hurt by their naturally brusque and critical INTJs partners.

    Because INFPs value emotional connection and intimacy in their relationships above all else, they often feel lonely or disconnected from their partners when they are unwilling (or unable) to open up and share their personal feelings. Since most INTJs want to feel competent and in control at all times, they are seldom as comfortable sharing their feelings of confusion and fear as readily as their partner may wish or even demand. So INFPs typically feel that INTJs are too critical and demanding, and INTJs feel that INFPs rely on guilt or emotional blackmail to force a connection.

    Unfortunately this can leave both partners feeling belittled and unappreciated. Ultimately INTJs and INFPs need to fully and calmly think through their position before coming together to discuss and share their feelings openly. They also need to make the time to hear each other out without criticism and judgement. Then they can engage their powerful intuition to find unique and satisfying solutions to challenges.
    locofoco, jaenelldeana, Emily Riddle and 1 others thanked this post.

  6. #6
    INFP - The Idealists

    How to reach your INFP partner

    -Focus on the positive. Start by acknowledging and complimenting, not criticising.
    -Share your feelings, concerns and fears ---don't hide them or bottle them up. Be gentle and tactful.
    -Try to temper your natural competitiveness---with yourself and everyone else!
    -Try not to impose too many rules and too much structure on your partner.
    -Organise spontaneous activities just for the two of you. Surprise your partner.
    -Listen without judgement. Your partner will see that as a sign of affection.


    How to reach your INTJ partner


    -Take a step back and try to see constructive criticism as a suggestion, not an attack.
    -Initiate discussions and be patient with your partner's initial reluctance to share feelings. Demonstrate and model how to frame issues in a personal context.
    -Be careful with money and talk about purchases before you make them. (WTF????).
    -Appreciate your partner's good ideas. Thank your partner for his or her creativity.
    -Try to be where you say you will be, when you say you will be. Call your partner when you are going to be late. (Wear a watch) (WTF??? I always wear a watch. This advice doesn't apply to everyone).
    -Be honest and direct, don't skirt around issues.
    -Take on household chores. Your partner will see that as a sign of affection.
    Gabrielle Johnson and dingo thanked this post.

  7. #7
    INFP - The Idealists

    My best friends are a Enfj female and intj male...and they are married!!!!! And they are the best of friends....and best of all they are my best friends!!!! xD
    It's funny, i don't get close to people easily...but whenever I have that instant connection with someone, later I find out they are INTJ xD
    I have a lot of them in my life just because conversation flows so well with them =)
    I don't know what it is....but it's wonderful xD
    I feel at my most comfortable around my intj friends.
    Gabrielle Johnson thanked this post.

  8. #8
    INFP - The Idealists

    Just make sure you've got a healthy INTJ and all is well.
    Gabrielle Johnson thanked this post.

  9. #9
    ENTJ - The Executives

    Quote Originally Posted by amethyst_butterfly View Post
    Try to be where you say you will be, when you say you will be. Call your partner when you are going to be late. (Wear a watch) (WTF??? I always wear a watch. This advice doesn't apply to everyone).
    I HATE it when people suddenly change their minds about where they are going to be. We will have planned everything perfectly and I am never wrong about my timing. After confirming with that person that they will be somewhere at an exact time then later telling me they don't feel like it, it messes my entire schedule up and frustrates me. I can be very tolerant of things but when that happens, it's like someone dragging their nails down a chalkboard.

  10. #10
    INFP - The Idealists

    Quote Originally Posted by SocioApathetic View Post
    I HATE it when people suddenly change their minds about where they are going to be. We will have planned everything perfectly and I am never wrong about my timing. After confirming with that person that they will be somewhere at an exact time then later telling me they don't feel like it, it messes my entire schedule up and frustrates me. I can be very tolerant of things but when that happens, it's like someone dragging their nails down a chalkboard.
    I'm kind of like this too, but I tend to get stressed out rather than frustrated. Sometimes people have legitimate reasons to be late... if they just flake for no good reason though, it makes me sad because I feel like I'm not important enough to them for them to care about and remember the plans we made. Being punctual and keeping up with your commitments is just a respectful thing to do.


 
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