[INFP] Crushing Lonliness - Page 2

Crushing Lonliness

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This is a discussion on Crushing Lonliness within the INFP Forum - The Idealists forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; Originally Posted by Credulous How do you deal with it? "do what you love then love will follow" - this ...

  1. #11

    Quote Originally Posted by Credulous View Post
    How do you deal with it?
    "do what you love then love will follow" - this is my personal statement that I keep reminding myself.
    What makes you happy in life? art ? music ? writing ? whatever it is start revisiting those aspects. that's how I got up from the hole of depair and loneliness.....and keep developing them...also it doesn't hurt to watch a few movies, tv series etc.. =)

  2. #12
    INFP - The Idealists

    I feel almost a bit corny posting this, but this video always helps me.

    Being alone can be turned from a crushing feeling to a time of self-discovery. I don't know what kind of loneliness you're referring to, for I believe there are many different types, but loneliness is not forever.


  3. #13
    INFP - The Idealists

    Quote Originally Posted by Credulous View Post
    I do not want to love myself. Nor do I see any reason to love myself.
    I'm dealing with the same thing. It's important to realize that you don't have to have any reason to love yourself.. it just has to be. What else is there other than ourselves? If you feel that no one else loves you, then that makes it even more important to be there for yourself.

    But to get back to your question. How do I deal with it? I smoke a lot of weed but it's more of a crutch than a solution. I'm seeing a psychiatrist to get to the root of it. It might not be something you can get over yourself. That's what I realized in my situation.

  4. #14
    Unknown Personality

    Quote Originally Posted by VertigoH View Post
    I thought that was a lovely video! Corny doesn't always mean bad. =]
    It definitely begins with patience...
    I've felt crushed for weeks, until I had actually hung out with people. After that, I realize how draining it can be, and how much of a certain freedom can be gained from being alone. (Somehow, lonely morphs into alone, and it's great!)
    You may focus on 'liking' yourself, rather than loving yourself. Or just tolerate yourself. Since we're locked in our heads (we can't think telepathically =/), it is a good move to be able to tolerate yourself/see yourself as worthy of a little respect. In many ways, everything ends with you, and you alone.
    I can't say I really reach out to anyone... most of my friends are T's and can only take so much of being an illogical downer. =p Whether you want to reach out to available or possible friends is your judgement. (Well, everything's your judgement...!)

    I hope you get past this soon. Otherwise, you'll get past this later. You still get past it, though.
    Acey, WanderingThoughts, Fahrenheit and 2 others thanked this post.

  5. #15
    INFP - The Idealists

    When you feel lonely, fall in love with your loneliness. But dont forget to divorce on time, when you meet someone interesting. ;)

    I love my loneliness. She dont let me hang out with others, she demand to be always with me and she could be annoying at times. . . . But she is my oldest friend and sometimes the only one, who can understand me . . .

    I am only scared, that we end up one day in shared grave together.
    Acey, ElephantinePigiferous, Mitsuko and 3 others thanked this post.

  6. #16
    INTP - The Thinkers

    Stay away from the internet
    basementbugs thanked this post.

  7. #17
    INTP - The Thinkers

    Thank you everyone for the responses. What you all are saying makes sense. I'm not sure how I would apply it to my life tho.
    Vin The Dreamer thanked this post.

  8. #18
    Unknown Personality

    How do you deal with it healthily? I really have no idea... at least, as far as anything I've actually been able to successfully put into practice. So far the only thing that has "worked" for me is almost completely suppressing my need or desire to interact with others, isolating, and convincing myself that I don't need anyone anyway (for a multitude of reasons, some true and some not). It's not sustainable or effective in the long term though -- and personally, I've found that it makes the loneliness worse in the end.

  9. #19
    INFP - The Idealists

    Quote Originally Posted by Credulous View Post
    Thank you everyone for the responses. What you all are saying makes sense. I'm not sure how I would apply it to my life tho.
    These articles may help give you a good start. :) (I found the first three on google)
    Last edited by Vin The Dreamer; 05-20-2012 at 10:44 AM.
    ElephantinePigiferous and snowbell thanked this post.

  10. #20
    INFP - The Idealists

    I have been alone for a long time. It dose not get any easyer... People let me down all the time it seems and thats even more pain stacked on top. But they still expect me to smile and keep moving on and sometimes I forget what that person has done and smile but its been getting harder to do that. It sucks that things that you do naturaly tend to be the hardest things you do sometimes because you just do it without thought. Its hard to love that way too. You cant just will yourself to love someone. Love only begets love. I have been without a girl friend for the whole of my life and let me tell you its hard to find someone who loves you the same way. For the guys that are reading this dont be too forward. If you like a girl a lot be her friend and she will see what a cut above the rest you are but let me tell you dont give your heart to her right away because you will get hurt bad! I know... I have messed up every relationship I have ever had telling a girl how MUCH I care for her. So the best you can be is a friend until she really sees you for who you are and that takes three things. Communication, time, and dedication. For the ladys I just want to say one thing... your Beautiful! And let the man, who you know that loves you, know who you feel!!!! Tell him!!! Tell hime that you love him if you do. Or if not tell him that you don't. Because what hurts the most, especially for a INFP guy, is not knowing and thinking there might be hope when there really is not. Thats all I ask of you please tell him. That brings me to my pain that I have right now. There is a girl I love with all my heart who knows I love her but she will not say that she loves nor will she say that she does not. There are times that I look into her eyes and I see... that she dose. But then I dont know if it is or not because she gose off with this guy and with that guy who are "friends" of hers. So that just shows me that she is not serious and dose not think that I'm someone special. Because if she loved me the way I love her then she would want to be with me right? Is that not true? I know I would be with her night and day if she would let me. But I'm stuck being her friend and I hate it. I hate it because I have to see her with all the other guys she hangs out with and laughs with and flirts with. I know now why she will not tell me and it breaks my heart to know that yes she has used me. She has manipulated me and I feel torn appart like a toy chewed up by a dog. I'm crushed and broken... and know one seems to care. All of the people I talk to just say well why didnt you see thats what she is doing to every other guy. Just using them for her needs and that it. I guess love is blind. Love says to trust a hope and I was hoping for her. I saw her as my wife one day but now my dreams are crushed and broken. But all I remember is the good times with her. Isnt that just weird? I want to hate her so much for hurting me so badly yet all I remember is her smile and her laugh and the way she looks at me... and the way she looks into my eyes. It like I have not learned my lesson. Like I dont know how to not think of her as a bad person. Its so messed up and I know that when I am around her again I will be happy just to be with her and feel utterly alone and abandoned when she leaves. Is that selfish? To want her to love me? I guess so right? There is many fish in the sea. Go find one. That what I'm told but I wish it was that simple. So here I am alone again trying to find someone to love on this earth. Someone who I can love like crazy I who will love me the same way back. And I wish that for all of you! That you will not be alone. That you will find someone to love who loves you just as much! :)
    KylaBendrik thanked this post.

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