[Tkae]

So I was arguing about we INFPs and love over in the ISTJ forums with Treebob, and he retorted with something that caught me pretty off guard:

I am not misinterpreting anything. I will agree that INFP have the ideal that they want to be with one person forever. I do too. Ideals don't really mean squat sometimes though. The infp who I mentioned loved me and I loved her. Was it the deepest love ever? I doubt it. When she drank though she changed and not for the better. Seriously though, you all can say you have great ideals but it doesn't mean you will stick to them.

My first reaction was to completely dismiss his idiotic statement and yell, "Ideals to an INFP are EVERYTHING!", but I caught myself and thought about it for a minute.

I'm a pretty solid INFP. So maybe some INFP that are weaker in the ways they score as an INFP might not share this trait to the degree I do. Which is why I'm asking you guys here: do you think he's right? Do INFP really have ideals that we don't live by?

Personally, as far as I'm concerned, I think he's wrong. I live by my ideals as law. I actively pursue my ideals, and fight to see them realized by others. And to have someone argue against them or violate them is just asking for an asskicking. But are there some INFP that really don't do this?



Is he right, and there are INFP that don't have such a dedication to their ideals?

[wanderingscribe]

Tkae, I've dedicated everything to what I believe in.


Everything~ No details, no stories, no explanations...

I've made every decision based on what I think should be, and I should do. How I should live, and what really holds worth, my path - no one elses. I envision them, I speak of them, I adhere by them, I live them, I am them.

The only concievable reason I would ever not go the path of my ideals both in small and big would be love of another or to not bring hard to others that don't deserve it.


The only other way to look at it, is yeah sometimes we/I f*** up. But never in clear mind and honest vision. Undoubtably in perspective~

[Aqualung]

It seems like my ideals have always been a little out of my reach but I still have no choice but to live by them as best as I can. I finally made peace with the reality that I fail completely now & then, just as all humans do. Seems as if living by a certain personal code gives me a sense of worth & identity somehow, even if it baffles people around me. I remember being this way even as a young kid. I'm just not wired to live any other way. I can't say this would be all INFP's experience but I'd guess many feel much the same.

[gloosle]

I live very strictly by my ideals (but ask me to write them down...ya right).

HOWEVER, I can tell you that they have morphed over the years. I promise you I do things now that where if I had some of the same ideals 4, 5,6, 7 years ago I'd be tearing myself apart and going completely against my ideals..

[dumtacemus]

i think that unhealthy infp's can maintain their ideals theoretically without having the strength to uphold them practically.

[moon]

If I've got ideals I'm not consciously aware of them.

[0,1,1,2,3,5,8,13,21,34]

yes, there are unhealthily people of every type, and dealing with people there's an exception to every rule... every rule. I've seen an INFP who doesn't always live up to their ideals... not as badly as the person here, but nonetheless. They do beat themselves up pretty badly afterwards though... heck, maybe their ideals were established AFTER they made the mistake... My guess is that this is when Fi turns inward and becomes selfish.

Here are a few quotes from personalitypage.com about problems that can occur in unhealthy INFPs that support this:

may have skewed unrealistic ideas about reality

(this makes the ideal hard to follow in the first place)

may value their own opinions and feelings far above others

Anyway, this is just one possibility that I'm bringing out. I find it more likely that this INFP was unable to follow their ideals due to completely ignoring how they matched up to reality, rather than by choice.

[amanda32]

Depends on the ideal. What do you mean and how much does that particular ideal matter to me?
Some ideals have changed for me yes, but they didn't change or I didn't give in without a lot of grief and big headache and I try to return to the original.
I HAVE done things I never imagined I would.
Other ideals I have stood staunchly by: mostly these are the ones where hurting others would be a reprocussion.

[PeacePassion]

I can see how addiction would interfere with one living by their ideals, though I don't know if that's the case for treebob's circumstance or not. Though an ideal love can be complicated in manifestation, especially if the relationship crosses other ideals.

Though I feel like ideals are really at an archetypal level, like, I'd have a hard time actually verbalizing my ideals, they are more like a steel resolve in my soul, an electric fence like steel resolve that flares up if anything gets near crossing them. And if circumstances or choice has me ignoring that flare, though it's usually impossible, I've in the past gotten very depressed and self-destructive. Unhealthy I guess. I think it is vital to an INFP's health to honor and live by our ideals, whatever they may be.

[Jack Rabid]

Ideals?? Well I have them , many of them..
Other people have ideals too..
So what happens when 2 people have clashing ideals..???
I might be willing to forget mine in the name of harmony..

But mostly what happens is, REALITY, wont let me live my ideals..

Ideally I would like to not work, and yet still get paid.. See??