[kooooo8]

when people start dabbling with drugs and alcohol. this conclusion im drawing from my experiences with friends who are literally all big advocates of drugs/alcohol. before they were "experimenting" they were pretty nice, friendly, weird but lovable individuals, however, the more they dabbled in it the more people they met who "shared similar interests". eventually they ended up just revolving hangouts to involve some sort of drug or drinking.

i myself don't drink or use drugs which makes me question what is so important about these substances, but the conclusion i came to was that they got bored, and what does a good chunk of people in socal do (mind you these are college kids) smoke weed, drink, and have fun. i'm not completely opposed to the substances themselves, but the images people put up to seem like they can take stronger substances in larger quantities baffles me, and if their lives are as miserable as they claim when they say they need it to de-stress themselves or if it is purely psychological.

[cloudcompeller]

@mushr00m

You're right, it's just another sad story. However, I've really met people with very nasty personality which is much reflected on their appearance, and it's more than Body Dysmorphia. Still, I guess it's mostly what the society has done to them rather their own nature. I believe everyone is kind-hearted since born.

[mushr00m]

Sure, we are all born on this world as a blank canvas, everything that surrounds us since that first breath will influence our thinking etc, some are lucky to be able to be themselves, some were punished for it. I guess everyone has a different story to tell. Thankyou for your response :)

[abigaleblues]

I think that the word "fake" is often misused, and I'm not sure if I ever disliked someone for being fake.

People mistake materialistic and shallow for fake. If you are in fact materialistic and shallow, that that doesn't exactly mean that you're being inauthentic to anyone else.

And even further, I am not bothered by "fake" ideals of beauty, be it plastic surgery or hair dye. To each his/her own with however they want to style themselves.

The real issue of "fake" is authenticity. I struggle with this because I am very shy. I don't want to be my pacifist, bisexual, agnostic self around my Republican boss. Am I fake for it? I don't think so. I just don't see the benefit in her knowing certain sides of my personality, especially in the work place.

I am also very changeable depending on my audience. I think that's the Fe in me. I want to accommodate everyone, making them feel comfortable. I don't lie or pretend to be someone/something else, it's just selective on what I choose to present. I think everyone does this to some extant. I like to talk about career goals and family with my parents, but with my boyfriend we talk about philosophy, religion and politics. With my XSTJ friends, I keep conversation light and centered on a topic that their senses can appreciate, like food or music or books. I adapt with my audience for their benefit, not really my own.

The best example of someone being "fake" is if they tell one group or person that they think/feel something, and then they tell another group that they think the opposite or something contradictory. Something like a politician perhaps ;)

[ElephantinePigiferous]

if you say that not projecting ones true self to the outside world is 'fake', then i am guilty of it in my own way. but i won't try to contest that view because it may seem like im trying to validate my own actions.
occasionally i find myself judging people, as fake ,on the same basis as one would judge me, and it is almost immediately followed by self-loathing and resentment because i see that same judgement reflecting on myself.

i try my best not to label someone as 'fake' based on flexibility of personality or on their choice of life.

honestly,i don't know what i would define as 'fake'.

but you know, judgement won't have any form if we take into account the other partys mental processes. judgement is biased to suit your own self.

[summer solstice]

Perhaps being fake (inauthentic) is like lying, and hiding (not showing authenticity) is like not telling the truth? My impression that not discerning these nuances usually makes up for a lot of confusion.

[saintless]

I agree with @eyenexpee. I was thinking the same thing as I read this thread.

To me, there is a difference between actively not being true to yourself and simply hiding parts of yourself from the world. I think about the people I have pitifully referred to as "fake" in an insulting manner, I am referring to people who fit the former description. People who actively change their identities usually have some sort of manipulative intent while people who simply hide their identities do so out of vulnerability.

Of course, those who feel vulnerable may try to change themselves. I know I have lied about my past like who I was in high school in order to distance myself from the looser, loner kid I was. I didn't just hide myself, I told a completely different story about who I was. And just so you know, I do consider myself fake whenever I do that.

However, I would never get upset with someone for pretending to be something they're not. I just get upset for them when you never get to see the real side of them and they never let down their facade. I lie at times, but I am always myself with all my quirks and opinions and interests. People who are constantly striving to live up to some sort of societal ideal are the kind of people I call out on being fake the most because they are only acting in such ways because they were told to. Maybe they like that lifestyle, but all evidence points to the fact they never truly considered what they do personally like. Though, goths and certain other counter-cultures who actively go against societal ideals aren't any more virtuous in my eyes. They act in spite of something rather than acting in regards to who they truly are (or should I modify that statement to say a lot of them are like because I am sure not everyone acts in spite).

As for the kind of person who changes after adopting to some sort of new group like a a previously mention group of drug-users, I wouldn't necessarily call them fake. People's identities aren't static. People will change. Maybe when they met other drug-users, they realize there were untapped aspects of their personalities and interests. They were never given the chance to be who they really are, and so they possibly became less fake. I think it is a little presumptuous so assume we know a single person best. Only they can tell us who they really are, but I will admit that sometimes one can just tell when another person isn't being honest.

Life really isn't black-and-white.