I think it's a good start that you're writing what you think and feel about things. I'd suggest continuing that, whether it's with posts in this forum, a journal, a blog, whatever you want to do. I've found that for me, doing that regularly has helped to make me a lot more aware of what's going on in my life. And when I'm more aware, I'm in a better position to take action and make changes I need to. Maybe it would work for you too.