We're idealists, fine. We live in a world where possibilites can easily outpace expectations (and reality), fine.
But why are we so hard on ourselves, more especially for things outside our control?
I mean there's some things one can take responsibility for: if you hit someone and that person gets injured, that's your fault and you can fairly take blame for it.
However, if there's a bank robbery (or other such situation) in progress and you try and protect someone who subsequently gets shot, that's not your fault considering you will have done what you can to protect them.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, there's a point whereby one cannot reasonably assign blame or failure to oneself for something - after that point life takes over and the natural process of things is responsible: you cannot blame yourself for an earthquake in Japan if you've never been there, nor can you blame yourself for your neighbor's house burning down if you weren't home at the time. But yet that doesn't stop the blame loop from happening.
And it's all the more important considering this blame loop can make its way into the "value system net-web-thing" and become ingrained in one's self if not addressed properly leading one to blame themselves for something they had no control over, for the rest of their lives. That doesn't make sense nor is it practical or empathetic. I'm not saying that there can't or shouldn't be remorse for things going badly, but at the same time, for taking feeling into account such is likely to harm our own feelings and leave us emotionally down and distressed which isn't good either.