As INFPs, how can we learn to not take things so personally?

[kestri]

I was wondering if any of the INFPs out there have ideas as to how we can learn to not take everything in life so personally and be so hyper-sensitive? And if you don't think we are one of the personality type that takes things more personally... well then, good for you; your probably less miserable than I am.

---And the question ends here. The rest is just me babbling about my personal perception---

I'm not sure how many of you fellow INFPs will be able to relate to this, but my own personal perception of the world is based off of the possibilities of what may be happening in the undercurrent of human emotion and behavior, and it has less to do with what is actually occurring in the present environment. I'm constantly making guesses as to what people may be thinking or feeling, and it happens so quickly that it's mostly subconscious. I make guesses for everyone in my immediate environment.

Once I have my bucket full of guesses, I begin to create fantasies as to what may play out with multiple people or what has led up to a particular person acting the way they are. All of this by the way is based off of little more than my previous experiences with certain personaliy types, past experiences with the people I know, and my interpretations of verbal and non-verbal social cues.

So when they say INFPs live in a world of imagination, that right there is my world of imagination. I'm so desperate to understand people and predict what may happen that I am constantly make predications based on past social experiences. And if I draw a blank I find a way to fill it in by merging multiple past experiences into some delusion in my head. This all sounds insane now that I am typing it out but in my mind it seems completely rational while it's happening

The reason why I mention this is because I believe that (at least for me personally) much of my personal sensitivities stem from these fantasies created by a web of guesses that stew in my head. I wonder if I'm the only one that's this crazy? haha.

[Tommy]

LOL, I have 10+ scenarios about how things work out between me and the girlfriend I don't have... You're not the only crazy.

How to take things less personally? Devalue their insult... That's the trick!

Also, use your own insight to know yourself...

I know I'm smart, because I've proven it to myself. I have feats that is evidence of my smartness. When people say I'm stupid, I laugh at them inside of me.

Sadly, it doesn't count of all of my inner selves. At school we talked a bit about heartbreak stuffs, and I started to get tears, probably because I was touched and tired. All my other sane parts yelled "WTF ARe YOU DOING?!?!? YOU CAN'T CRY NOW!!!!"

If someone tells something bad about you, like, "You suck!"

Think for yourself... "Do I?... Yes!, but I don't care. /ignore meanperson23.", or, "Atleast I'm doing my best!" (no offense intented, just an example.) Consider it feedback, and not insult. Learn to say thank you... Sometimes I just say thank you, and walk away. It'll help on the less serious things.



This prediction thing.. I have it too, but I have stopped relying on it, it just isn't safe. You're a very intelligent person, which enables you to calculate the probability of things happening, based on former information.

But it might be wrong some times, people surprise, and if you were dead sure about something, and it didn't happen, then you'd be shitting heavy on your leg. Just not reliable.

You're not crazy anyways!

[Cheshire Cat]

I just think: "well, I'm an INFP so I'm probably taking this a lot harder than I should". Believe it or not, it works for me. I'm aware that I'll still have to face the fact that I'm taking it too personal but at least it gives me hope that if I wasn't as I am, I'd probably get over it much sooner.

I don't know if that makes sense

[dumtacemus]

i don't necessarily think we need to take things less personally. i feel like, even though our hyper-sensitivity can create a lot of internal distress that is not easily understood or shared by others, it can also offer a lot of benefits. i think that being sensitive to my environment and the emotions and reactions of others has been a huge contributor to the development of my artistic endeavors. i think that finding ways to utilize my "thin skin" (as others refer to it) in positive ways and to realize that i'm more receptive to subtleties that others ignore has helped me to accept it as a gift rather than lament it as a weakness to be overcome.