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This is a discussion on INFP mistaken for ESTJ within the INFP Forum - The Idealists forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; Originally Posted by SpankyMcFly At work I am a different person. This is common for most people. I am expected ...
I think a lot of it is learning the specific skills (organisation, managing, delegating, planning, negotiating) that you need for your specific job, and then getting good enough at those skills so that your job isn't so mentally and energetically taxing.
I think it also helps if some of those learned skills spill over a bit into your personal life (organisation definitely so you don't waste 20 minutes looking for your keys when you're leaving the house, and learning how to get places on time--that's still a tough one for me, but I'm learning).
The last thing I would say is to give yourself time and space to be yourself. No matter how successful you are at pulling off the ESTJ functions at work, you're still an INFP at heart so you need some time to be alone and space out to recharge. Make sure you give yourself this time and don't beat yourself up about not staying in ESTJ-style "productive" mode 24/7. Daydream your INFP heart out on the weekends, nurture some INFP-style hobbies after work and take good INFP-style holidays. And know that as long as you're functioning in ESTJ-mode the majority of the time at work, you'll probably end up needing more vacations than most who feel more at home in their working skin. Also don't compare yourself, productivity or attitude-wise to your colleagues, who are probably closer to natural ESTJs than you are. That's something that took me a while to learn. ESTJ-ing for an INFP is exhausting.
And it definitely helps if the other aspects of the job fulfil you in some way (match your interests, line up with your values, goals etc.) to make the extra energy expenditure of working in your non-native functions worth it. Otherwise I can see the situation getting pretty miserable pretty quick.
I personally enjoy my work, but I'm still not sure I can stick with it full-time all the time. Fortunately, it's more project-based, so hopefully I can work on individual projects as they come and then have time to do other things as well. Now that I think about it, I should figure out how to balance my working/personal life to make this work for me, so that the ESTJ-ness doesn't wear out my INFP sensibilities.
Anyone else encounter this issue?
I've definitely had my moments in the ESTJ business suit. I don't think friends and family and even most acquaintances see me that way. My shyness makes my introversion pretty clear (I realize those are not one and the same, but in the average person's eyes they aren't very distinguishable).
I have that personality quiz app on facebook that allows your friends to answer as they think you would (anonymously) so you can see your friend's perspectives as compared to your own. It bases it on the Big 5, which doesn't perfectly correlate to MBTI though. My MBTI result from the app is INFP (pretty decent quiz), but my friends thinks I am more ISTJ (from their collective answers) . Not everyone on my facebook knows me that well though. They seem to think I am more "Conscientious" (organized, planned) than I am, more "Extroverted" or sociable than I am, less "Neurotic", and less "Open" (preferring novelty to convention). The only thing they got right is my "Agreeableness" which is about average. I think friends/family who know me well know that I am not very organized and am more into new ideas than convention. I have a feeling if the read an ISTJ profile vs. an INFP one, they'd choose INFP for me.
The real challenges are dealing with criticism (of the non constructive kind), the snide remarks meant to provoke you, and the blatant personal attacks that come from dealing with alpha's and immature people who can't handle your authority etc. I have to keep my shields up at all times while maintaining and projecting a confident and even keeled presence. This is the draining aspect. What I do is store and compartmentalize these types of events in my head for later release and channeling. My "decompression" period after work. Having healthy forms of emotional/stress release is key here otherwise these events will just fester and later manifest.
All of that said, It's time for me to switch careers . I really envy people who have a job that, when they wake up in the morning think "another day of work, AWESOME!" *goes off on a mini rant* oh woe is me... How INFP of me
I could never be mistaken for an ESTJ but an extrovert told me I talk a lot! Last night after work. I said "Really?" She said "Oh yeah, believe me" & looked annoyed. I laughed. That's a first. Anyway, it's the night shift so I'm stoked on coffee & Red Bull & when the workload is light & the boss is gone we all talk until the sun comes up. Anyway, if I'm really focused on something that requires concentration I might come off a bit ESTJ sometimes. I think I picked up a few ESTJ traits in the military because that environment demands it. But I think 99% would peg me INFP after a 2 beer conversation.