[The Proof]

IM anxious because im scared i wont get anywhere with my music production and that ill be 35 and give up on it and looking back thinking "i should of worked harder"

then work on your music, the book will still be there later



I remember studying for exams and playing on the pc, then I realized that as much as I wanted to have fun, exams were a deadline sort of thing and video games will always be there

you'll be ok, just define some clear goals and work towards them

[Targus28]

Oh man, yes. In fact, during the mere 7 sessions I ever had with a therapist, this was one of the big things we talked about. He would ask me, "how would it feel to just sit with that feeling, to be anxious and just sit with it?" Not sure why he kept asking me this, but I thought about it and decided he was trying to get me to stop feeling guilty all the time. Do you have a nagging sensation that is telling you "be productive! Don't rest now, you have to do this or that first!" I certainly do/did. I couldn't relax. When I tried to relax, I would lay there and just feel like I was wasting time and the more I thought about how much time I was wasting, the more paralyzed I became and the LESS I got accomplished! I sat there in paralysis going "what do I do? what do i do?" and nothing got done because I couldn't decide anything. It was maddening.

What I learned from all this was that I need to give myself permission to relax and read a book, or enjoy something in the moment. I need to remind myself that it's perfectly ok to be doing these things. You aren't hurting anything by enjoying the moment. Just because you are putting off what you need to do to enjoy something else at that moment, it doesn't mean you are going to get in trouble or it's the end of the world. You have time. It will be ok. No one is going to yell at you. Guilt isn't going to get you anywhere, in fact it makes you feel more miserable.

So when you start feeling anxious like this, try to be aware of it. Realize you are feeling anxious and tell yourself that it's ok to be anxious. Don't beat yourself up for it. Don't feel guilty. Say "this is me and I'm anxious. I accept this and it will pass." Can you take a break and relax for a moment? What's the worse that can happen? You put something off for a day? Take a step out of yourself and see it from another perspective. In the end, it won't matter whether you took that hour to read a book or to do that chore you need to do.

Chores i'm great with, i get them done, its doing other things like watching a movie, reading a book, joining in forum convos i have trouble with.Yes it feels like exactly what you described above

[Targus28]

then work on your music, the book will still be there later

I remember studying for exams and playing on the pc, then I realized that as much as I wanted to have fun, exams were a deadline sort of thing and video games will always be there

you'll be ok, just define some clear goals and work towards them

I want to tonight, but my istp girlfriend is in the bedroom asleep in my studio and tbo, i dont know how to put it across that i wont my own time tonight working on music, without her getting in some sort of mood.I mean, she wouldent sort of get in a mood, she just seams moody allll the time, like she is misrable, and i feel like i dont wanna make her more misrable.

[ethylester]

Chores i'm great with, i get them done, its doing other things like watching a movie, reading a book, joining in forum convos i have trouble with.Yes it feels like exactly what you described above

Do you need to do those other things? If watching a movie isn't going to be enjoyable, then why do it? If you are truly more interested in making music all the time, why do you feel that you must also include these other things into your spare time? Do you feel pressure from other people to do these things? What is your motivation for doing these other things in the first place?

[Targus28]

Do you need to do those other things? If watching a movie isn't going to be enjoyable, then why do it? If you are truly more interested in making music all the time, why do you feel that you must also include these other things into your spare time? Do you feel pressure from other people to do these things? What is your motivation for doing these other things in the first place?

I feel like im missing out on a relaxing, normal life.I feel like i'm not engading in any that i could talk about/share with them people i see.I feel like im missing out on the simple things in life, whilst pursing this huge goal, that is very hard work and needs alot of time put into it to get to the level i want to be.I feel like im not learning anything new,engading with anything else, other than music, too

[CrabbyPaws]

I think you need a hug. *hugs*

[gallimaufry]

like Galimau has said...

Ahem, it's gallimaufry?! :p
Okay, this is probably off topic and possibly even counterproductive if you do feel you need a break... but are you intrested in fusing your electronica with some other acoustic stuff? I'm a songwriter too, who also struggles to get things to a personally acceptable standard, and.... if you are, I would genuinely LOVE to share some things with you... we could bounce ideas off each other and.. well, whatever,r I dunno... just a thought. I think the track I listened to of yours (from your other post) is really good anyway :)

[Seamaid]

I like @gallimaufry's post a lot. To me it seems like you need to get out of your head and more importantly, get some external feedback.

I don't know that you need to be relaxing more or taking your mind off music... I think you might be better off actually being busy making music that you know is going somewhere, that has a clear destination. You need people listening to your stuff and encouraging you to keep making more. You need your music to find an appreciative audience.

Are you actually making music or just thinking/worrying about making it? Also, can you find a way to be just as creative through other outlets that may be appreciated? I know I feel fulfilled when my ideas find an actual purpose in the outside world -- in fact, when I am given a specific assignment, that's when my ideas seem to be really strong. When I am trying to create just for myself, things get very hazy and lazy and I'm just not that motivated to create as when there's someone expecting something from me. I think you need to find that "someone" to be accountable to.

[bmw]

Ah, I know this feeling. I've been experiencing that a lot lately too.
Idk if it'll help you, but what helped me today was just getting out and seeing some new scenery. Just go somewhere nice and peaceful and enjoy the day. A lot of times we get so caught up in our anxiety we become less able to cope with it and put more stress on ourselves which is why (at least for me) I do get that drained feeling as well. Sometimes a change in scenery, a notebook, and a packed lunch is all you need (but that may just be me) . Whatever you end up doing, I hope you eventually begin to feel better. <3

[summer solstice]

I don't know if anyone else gets what i mean by this, but i feel like i carn't enjoy just the simple things anymore.I'm constantly trying to pursue my music career, which involves producing Electronic Dance Music, and that is constantly in my head, ideas etc. I feel like i've lost how it feels to be in the now, always worrying, on edge, about future events, or, i should be doing this, doing that, or my life is doomed. My mind races with this thoughts all the time, and like i said, i don't really feel like I'm 'here' in my mind, like I'm disconnected from feeling how i should right now in this world

Like right now, i have a book i wanna read, id love to just get it out now and start reading, but i find it hard to relax and get into it, and it just doesn't feel right, like i should be doing something productive, or that ive forgotten something that needs doing

Anyone else have this?

If I remember correctly, you recently started a thread on your roommate/flatmate? I think you're stumbling over many, small sources of stress, and they may push you into Te (inferior INFP function), which is not a function you're used to using, so it's a sort of exhausting, which may interfere with your gusto for the simple things.

Once you clear up your head and deal with your stress sources, you may retrieve that 'taste of life' :)