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Any INFP's with ENTP friends?

[INFP] 
34K views 52 replies 50 participants last post by  Monadnock 
#1 ·
I'm male and have a female INFP friend i've been hanging out with for a little bit now, i was wondering if any INFP's here have any ENTP friends? I hear they tend to clash and i'd like to have some tips on how to reduce potential conflict and increase potential fun in our friendship

thanks!
 
#2 ·
I wish I knew an ENTP, you guys are hilarious and interesting. :) Well, just be very mindful of which words to choose, because INFPs are pretty sensitive even if you mean well.

How to increase fun... why not take her to a park and then surprise her with super soakers? Assuming you're living somewhere where the weather is currently warm, like I am. :p
 
#3 ·
I don't think clash is the appropriate word. Very few types clash with the INFP usually because they are so easy going and non-assertive (generally). What I have heard is that these are relationships of deactivation and laziness. Which tend not to bode to well with ENTP's constant need for action. INFP's might also want someone who is more stable/consistent. I had an ENTP friend, perhaps I still do have him. But he is extremely difficult to find and hang out with.
 
#5 ·
I know I've mentioned on this forum before that I'm a big fan of ENTPs. I like NTs in general.

I think some INFPs can feel hurt by NT types' devotion to honesty and truth, which can sometimes lead to comments that seem blunt or insensitive. Personally, I'd much prefer to deal with a well-meaning but overly candid thinking type than a passive-agressive feeling type (major stereotypes!!! I know! just an example of extremes), but not everyone feels the same way. I guess my advice is to be extra tactful around your INFP friends and be open to engaging them in more personal, introspective conversations as well as the fun and clever banter ENTPs do so well.
 
#6 ·
My soulmate/boyfriend is an ENTP - so not a platonic relationship. We both have an understanding of each other's personality types and accept each other fully - for who we are as individuals. We also trust each other completely. Sometimes he comes across, to me, as blunt or insensitive but we immediately discuss it and it isn't a dealbreaker for us at all. I'm super sensitive and I am sure there are things about me that make me a handful, lol. We do have things in common and love to spend time together. We are extremely bonded.
 
#7 ·
#8 ·
this boy i'm sort of smitten with is a self-proclaimed ENTP....and I don't know what to make of it. He's one of those people who are really interested and very high energy at certain moments but won't talk to you for like a month and when he starts to talk to you again its as if there has never been a hiatus. but apparently i can handle his level of so called "weird" which i suppose i'll just take as a compliment and not overthink it like i tend to!
 
#11 ·
I am an INFP and I find ENTPs funny. I think all you need to watch is potentially hurting an INFP's feelings unintentionally. Normally once I am close to someone though, I don't take things they say offensively, so after they get to know you well, they should know when you are not trying to hurt them and understand that nothing was meant by something you might say.

I am a firm believer that all types can get along and be friends. There are things that we all have in common that cross the boundaries of type, and I think that it should never be stated that someone doesn't get along with a certain type, but more doesn't get along with certain individuals. There are certain characteristics in certain types we might not like, but to generalize the entire type like that is naive, and robbing ourselves from potential awesome friendships.

Good luck with your friend. ^.^
 
#13 ·
I recently had a brief relationship with an ENTP... I wish strongly now that it had remained platonic. We had some really incredible conversations, really opened up to each other a lot given the amount of time we had. We had a lot of fun at first, but I think he would get bored, and he would push me to "let go" and "have fun..." I perfectly capable of having a good time, just not with the same energy that he has. It didn't help that the more he pushed me, the more reserved I got.

Basically, I think this friendship could work out really well, just remember that an INFP needs lots of downtime :)
 
#39 ·
We had a lot of fun at first, but I think he would get bored, and he would push me to "let go" and "have fun..." I perfectly capable of having a good time, just not with the same energy that he has. It didn't help that the more he pushed me, the more reserved I got.
Very much the crux of it. It's funny that it's those who consider themselves the most 'free' that have all these rules on how to have 'fun'.

 
#14 ·
He respected my quiet time and didn't talk about mundane crap. I accepted hanging out when he asked and random surprise talks till 5am on a work night. Similar interests and mutual patience was a big help. Unfortunately we had to part ways due to diverging lifestyles.
 
#16 ·
Not gonna lie, I find the idea of ENTPs really intriguing. I don't think I actually know very many, most of my NT friends tend to be introverted, and my extroverted ones tend to be feelers. An INFP friend of mine thinks her husband is an ENTP and he is one of the funniest people I have ever met. They seem to have a really great relationship, though that double dose of Ne might be why their apartment is never clean:tongue: I have this notion that ENTPs are destined to be my NT soulmates along with INTJs.
 
#18 ·
I have an ENTP friend I've known forever, we're very close. I can handle the bluntness and everything - I think he's a reason I'm not as sensitive as other INFP on the forums. I also truly appreciate the constructive criticism of NTs in general. It's a fresh relief from the NFs who won't be honest with you. They see me as so soft.

But it drives me crazy that he can forget about me for lengths of time and then next time he sees me, he gives me a long, lovely hug, tells me he misses me, and say "I love hanging out with you, we should do it again soon..." but then he doesn't contact me again. Of course, he says yes when I ask him to hang out and such, but I wish he'd initiate contact more often.

Doesn't mean I don't love him. He's fun, intelligent, and the Ne-ness is great. He's also the most excellent at comforting me and sees what I don't see about myself, and vice versa. It's a very interesting and wonderful dynamic.

I wonder if ENTPs and INFPs could be better lovers than friends, just because the whole forgetting about us INFPs wouldn't occur the same way. I'd love to try an ENTP relationship (not with mine :p haha)... I think it'd be fun and passionate and if it ended, it'd end tragically. I want at least one beautiful relationship like that haha. But like one person noted, ENTPs seem to be more interested in Fe-types generally.

So yeah:

1. Be sensitive
2. Initiate contact - let them know you still remember they exist.
 
#22 ·
Bumping because I'm interested in hearing opinions. Overall I'd say my relationship with my good INFP friend is similar to what was related by the poster below. We've been friends for a long time, and I think he gets sort of nostalgic about the days when we were younger hanging out almost everyday. He always calls me up for advice. The funniest thing he's ever told me when he was seeking my opinion was "well, ya know, some people actually feel things." I thought that was great and illustrated how we perceived each other.

It's always a good time when we're hanging out though. Last weekend we spent all night coming up with different music compositions, playing instruments, and feeding off one another. Those moments are always exhilarating.

All in all, though, I always have been able to get along with INFPs, and think there is sort of a mutual respect and understanding between one another. I'm not sure how an intimate relationship would work out. I imagine the relationship works out better on purely a friendship level. I'm basing the latter statement on my romantic involvement with ISFPs though.

I have an ENTP friend I've known forever, we're very close. I can handle the bluntness and everything - I think he's a reason I'm not as sensitive as other INFP on the forums. I also truly appreciate the constructive criticism of NTs in general. It's a fresh relief from the NFs who won't be honest with you. They see me as so soft.

But it drives me crazy that he can forget about me for lengths of time and then next time he sees me, he gives me a long, lovely hug, tells me he misses me, and say "I love hanging out with you, we should do it again soon..." but then he doesn't contact me again. Of course, he says yes when I ask him to hang out and such, but I wish he'd initiate contact more often.

Doesn't mean I don't love him. He's fun, intelligent, and the Ne-ness is great. He's also the most excellent at comforting me and sees what I don't see about myself, and vice versa. It's a very interesting and wonderful dynamic.
 
#19 ·
Just don't be flaky or go MIA for long periods of time. If you flake on her or make it excessively difficult for her to hang out with you, the friendship won't go anywhere. Show her that you care by making plans with her and keeping them. I think that's the biggest thing.
 
#20 ·
I've been reading a lot on here about how ENTPs love honesty. Now honesty happens to be one of my core values. I dare someone to lie to me and see what happens. The thing with me is you just can't be too blunt. Be tactful or you could possibly see some tears.

Also, if she's anything like me she will love to go to movies and play video games. I love video games...it's almost to the point where video games are like my escape from reality when I need it.

Also, since INFPs are very value-driven I recommend figuring out what her core values are if you have not done so already because if you go against one of her core values, she can turn into a fiery monster of rage in a nanosecond.

From what I know of INFPs, most of us also try to stay in touch with our inner kid. If we can let loose once in a while and just act like a 10 year old with whomever we're with, we're the happiest people in the world. Hope that helps a little :)
 
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#21 ·
One of my best friends is @Daphodora - an ENTP with an inordinate amount of philosophical savvy to share at her age - and while this will make her squirm to no end, I love her to the moon and a black hole and back. Haha. I think that when INFPs are always at the mercy of swirling moods, going to our irretrievable emotional places etc., ENTPs can at once play to our love of possibilities (Ne) by inventing new ones and help reveal the jungle gym of interesting ideas under the dense foliage of feeling (Ti). I'm not sure what ENTPs see in us - they're quite stingy with their expressions of affection (AHEM). :D
 
#23 ·
One of my best male friends is an ENTP. We get along great, never EVER fight. We tend to both be so easygoing and see eye to eye on practically anything. He's more charming and outgoing than me. I'm more sensitive, and when I cry while talking, he doesn't get it. But he understands me, accepts it, and keeps going. We've been fast friends since we met in 2001. I wouldn't ever trade him for anything. :)
 
#25 ·
I have an ENTP friend I've known for a few years. We used to talk more often than we do now, but we always had fun because we had similar interests and could enjoy the Ne conversations :D While we had some disagreements we were both very focused on getting insight into other persepctives so they usually turned into interesting coneversations rather than arguments. As far as NTs go, I found him to be very good at dealing with feelings, so maybe he was unusually sympathetic for an ENTP I don't know. Sometimes I would end up feeling a bit tired out after the long, animated conversations esp. from the generally louder volume of his voice, and would sometimes have trouble interjecting or letting him know that I'd like to go home now.

The main issue that I think tends to come up in NT-NF interactions is that NFs loooove indentifying with others and focusing on things we agree on and have in common, while NTs usually enjoy debate and tend to introduce opposing points too redily for the NF resulting in the NF feeling attacked and robbed of the sense of mutual connection they were looking for. It's not that NFs don't like looking thoroughly at the opposing points, but HOW they go about that tends to be different. First and foremost we keep reiterating our acceptance, so when we disagree it usually comes in the form of stating what we both agree on first, then stating that I can understand what you're saying or respect the points you've made, and only after that will I state my opposing points in wording that clearly communicates that I realize what I am saying is ONLY my Personal perspective and realise it's not necessarily a universal truth that I think should be obvious and conformed to by others. The personal perspectve is a very important aspect of anything we say which we expect others to also confirm when they say something, or else we tend to interpret it as though you think you Do know everything and Do have the right to dictate what others think - which puts us in defensive mode which in turn makes reasonable discussion difficult because now we're focused on mending the relationship not discussing the topic. We may sound like we're trying to argue your point, but what we're really doing is saying "please tell me you don't think I'm stupid and worthless for having a different oppinion!? pleeeeeeease!" We're fine with disagreement, as long as you make it clear (not takne for granted) that you respect us as capable of thinking for ourselves and making reasonable conclusions (even if your reasoning is different from ours). The problem is that NFs often feel disrespected and judged when others don't explicitly continually say that they do respect us even when they disagree. Little nuances of wording can make a world of difference when it comes to understanding that we both have good intentions toward eachother.
 
#26 ·
I agree. Debating with NTs can be very interesting, or very hurtful. It all depends on whether it feels like we're endangering our friendship by doing this, or simply expressing two different viewpoints on the same issue. I generally avoid debate where possible, because I find it somewhat tiring and frustrating, and it feels too much like arguing for my tastes. On the other hand though, if it's in more of a talking about opinions setting, where harmony isn't at risk, then I think its intriguing and valuable. ENTPs are fantastic people to share and bounce opinions with.
 
#29 ·
@aronf13

The ENTPs I've gotten relatively close to had megalomania. I think this is an ENTP defense mechanism. I find it an unattractive and weak trait, both platonically and romantically.

The INFP defense mechanism to life problems is nihilism.

Therefore, an ENTP can't grasp at an INFP in any way that feels tangible to them and becomes secretly enraged and invalidated.

Just my experience.
 
#31 ·
I posted the 16personality test on facebook and asked my friends to take it if they didn't know their type. I like that test because the responses are scaled (vs yes/no) and the results are well-explained.

Turns out that my 2 current best friends, my childhood best friend, and my favorite cousin (so 4 total) are INFPs. I was floored. According to common thought, these types don't always get along so well and I really seem to have a penchant for them.

I don't think I could be in a romantic relationship with one (I love my grumpy INTJ; he balances me out). But apparently they make amazing friends for me. I couldn't even tell you why.
 
#32 ·
Hm...maybe. I haven't thought about it much and the few who have taken the test didn't type as that, so..

I dated someone who was/is one, though, and we were friends before anything else. Our friendship was pretty great. He was my best friend, mostly because I could talk to him about my philosophies and he wouldn't make fun of me for thinking a certain way. He was a great listener and actually liked me for having my ideas. He would discuss his own, too, sometimes, so that was huge. There wasn't a big I/E divide..I mean, we just hung out when we saw each other without having any expectations. Often times, since we went to the same college, I'd be sitting by myself and he'd walk passed me from this or that direction (he was constantly busy with stuff,) so we'd just talk then until one of us had to go. I admired his confidence in himself as he had tons of it. I'm not very picky about my friends, tbh, since I can see something good and useful in everyone's existence and don't feel obligated to make changes for friends (I find there's more pressure to do so in my relationships.) They just have to respect me. With that said, there really wasn't anything I "disliked" about him, unless you count his few mistakes imo, one of which was him SOMETIMES being closedminded about things I said I experienced -.- if he didn't experience them himself, he would sometimes say they didn't happen. But that was rarely an issue as friends if I remember right.
 
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