[doublexuan]

Hi guys, there is an problem I am facing now which I really need to resolve asap, but I can't because I don't know the exact cause of it.

I used to have severe social anxiety, but I got much better over the years, although I realize now that it is mainly due to the way I structured my life so that I don't need to communicate much to strangers most of the time.



Recently I am starting out with my freelance career and I had to send out a lot of promo postcards. I sent out a batch yesterday and got a few really positive replies through email about my work, so I should feel really good about myself right? No, instead I started to have a mild anxiety attack and almost wanted to cry.

What is confounding to me is that I always thought my anxiety is due to the fear of negativity towards me. I don't understand why I have trouble dealing with any form of attention, even if it is positive attention. And it is just email for god's sake! It doesn't make any sense and I know it!

But I don't have time to moan and cry about this so I need to know the root cause so that I can solve this. I still have 450 promos to send so if I don't solve my insanity soon I think I might die from a heart attack.

[cynthiareza]

Could it be because you are afraid people will want something from you and you are not sure if you will be able to live up to their expectations?

[doublexuan]

I don't think so... but I can't be too sure. I think I am sufficiently confident in producing work that people like. I don't know why but I start to imagine people talking about me and it freaks me out. I know there is no reason for them to talk about me in a negative way, but simply the thought of my existence being known, acknowledged and be discussed about drive me nuts. I just want to hide inside a cave and never come out, but I can't because I will starve to death that way.

[cynthiareza]

well that makes sense...i think that would give me anxiety too, because I am shy.

[IcarusDreams]

I don't think so... but I can't be too sure. I think I am sufficiently confident in producing work that people like. I don't know why but I start to imagine people talking about me and it freaks me out. I know there is no reason for them to talk about me in a negative way, but simply the thought of my existence being known, acknowledged and be discussed about drive me nuts. I just want to hide inside a cave and never come out, but I can't because I will starve to death that way.

This is normal for you, Ms. doublexuan-don't be alarmed (although I am sorry for the stressful feelings you are going through, warranted or otherwise.) It's possibly your intuition going haywire over the possibilities when your work is out there. You can still focus on your own awesomeness, instead of thinking of the possible negative reception your work "must be getting" (a lie-and if somebody doesn't appreciate it, so what? Their loss!) I know you are confident in what you do (as well you should!), but this should eventually translate into a feeling of nonchalance that perhaps doesn't come naturally to you as an INFP (and that's fine-certainly not a defect.) As in "what I do is pretty nifty, so if somebody out there doesn't appreciate it a)it's their choice, but their loss, and b)it doesn't diminish the great quality of what I do, and the passion I devote to it." That is, what others think out there shouldn't affect that much how you feel about yourself and your work. You gotta take risks sometimes, and that's what you are doing. It's ok to feel this nervous to the point of social anxiety. You can grow out of this, and I know you will-I wish so too, because it's making you feel uncomfortable, and I wish you live a happy life, just as you deserve. No need to hide, because you are awesome, and people need to know more about you-whoever think badly of you is probably not worth your time considering!

Be happy, and keep flying on the wings of your dream. I hope you can reach your dream to come to NYC one day. You are a great person. Never lose hope, nor the will behind your whims. :)

Best Wishes,

ID

[Candid Apple]

Maybe it's better to meet the problem head on. Interact these persons despite your anxiety and whatever fear surfaces due to expectation, approval, or how you may sound or act. It may be better just to grow with each defeat (for lack of a better term) than the source of an end all solution. I deal with the same thing, but luckily I don't have to interact with persons if I don't want to, so I feel for your situation though I have nothing to really base your situation on.

Good luck in your endeavor, pretty kick ass that you're freelancing.

[IcarusDreams]

well that makes sense...i think that would give me anxiety too, because I am shy.

Yes, it can be due to that of course. I am sure we can still be a bit shy and not be socially anxious, though! I used to be extremely shy, but one gets used to "get out there" with time and practice-I am wishing for the best.

[yello]

I know how you feel, I get anxious even posting here. I also can't handle criticism or praise. Maybe I just hate attention?

[doublexuan]

It's possibly your intuition going haywire over the possibilities when your work is out there.

Thank you IcarusDreams, your post really really helped a lot! I think that sentence do make a whole lot of sense. Unfortunately I am not awesome, I am constantly frustrated with myself for not being better. It is really bizarre that an hour ago someone added me to a Facebook group called "Team Awesome". I then wrote in the group saying "I feel out of place here."

I am really not a shy person, however I am overly paranoid.

I know how you feel, I get anxious even posting here. I also can't handle criticism or praise. Maybe I just hate attention?

Oh yello I am so glad to hear someone feels the same way too! Actually this year I feel more comfortable posting here, but I have been on the INFP forums for many years on and off and all of those years I feel really anxious even just posting. I changed my username many times partly because I don't really want to be noticed that much. However this year I am trying to be a braver girl.

[IcarusDreams]

Ms. @doublexuan:

Gotta go to gym and then busy practice, but I just wanted to tell you, that you ARE already quite awesome, but your perfectionism is probably not letting yourself appreciate the fact. We can all be better, but it doesn't mean that what we have now is not really worthy and beautiful. No coincidence that you are in Team Awesome. :)

Best Wishes,

ID