No shame thread: write something that scares you.

**kaleidoscope** · 03-19-2012 10:59 AM

I know it's not November, but I'd like to turn this into a thread.

In order not to be hypocritical, I'll start.

I'm scared of being abandoned if I completely let go and act like myself entirely, without holding back.

**Guph** · 03-19-2012 11:57 AM

I fear I'm living a meaningless life.
I fear of ending up completely alone, unnoticed.

**Wanderlust94** · 03-19-2012 01:10 PM

Although I know the thought is caused by OCD, I still fear I may become a paedophile.

I fear I'm becoming a callous asshole

I hate myself for always having terrible thoughts and bringing up/joking about dark subject matter into normal conversation because I feel my mind won't let it rest unless I talk to someone about it or just so I can make some that's annoying me just leave me alone. I wish I could have a better filter like so many others do.

I too fear loneliness and that I'll never be able to hold a stable relationship with any woman.

I hate myself for constantly seeming to let my parents down, but at the same time it's not their life and I'm in constant clash with how things are supposed to be with them.

There's probably more I can't think of right now.

Also, I'll contribute another post to bump this thread if it gets too far behind. I know some don't like that, but I really enjoy the concept of this thread. Even though it's only an Internet forum, there's something empowering about this thread.

**kaleidoscope** · 03-19-2012 01:14 PM

Originally Posted by Wanderlust94

Although I know the thought is caused by OCD, I still fear I may become a paedophile.

I fear I'm becoming a callous asshole

I hate myself for always having terrible thoughts and bringing up dark subject matter into normal conversation because I feel my mind won't let it rest unless I talk to someone about it or just so I can make some that's annoying me just leave me alone. I wish I could have a better filter like so many others do.

I too fear loneliness and that I'll never be able to hold a stable relationship with any woman.

There's probably more I can't think of right now.

Although this is the Internet, this was very brave of you. Thank you for sharing *hugs*

**da_gobbo** · 03-19-2012 01:40 PM

i fear being alone yet i fear rejection, despite knowing women are very unlikely to approach me i still don't approach them

im also not that fond of big spiders (a part of nature i prefer to be at a looooong distance)

**adverseaffects** · 03-19-2012 01:46 PM

I'm scared I only know how to charm people into coming into orbit, but get frustrated with the person I'd have to be to make them stay.

**kaleidoscope** · 03-19-2012 01:56 PM

Originally Posted by adverseaffects

I'm scared I only know how to charm people into coming into orbit, but get frustrated with the person I'd have to be to make them stay.

Oh wow, this always happens to me... It's a constant inner struggle.

**Leonhi** · 03-19-2012 01:58 PM

I worry that anything I will ever do in life, could have been done in a day or two, making the rest wasted. That when I thought someone understood the meaning of my life, the really just agreed with the direction when it was to their advantage, and the companionship was only merchantilism through rose colored glasses. I'm afraid that my rose colored glasses, so carefully contrived. polished and loved, will eventually be broken in one fit of frustration, and then I will have to look at the ugly truth without them. I hate that the person I see in the mirror seems inconguous to the beautiful voice I hear in my head. I regret that my actions don't match what I wish I were doing. That writing about what I wish I could do is not the same as doing it. That feeling it deeply is not a replacement for having experienced it. I am afraid that no one will ever accept me for me, and want to help me experience as much as there is left, before I am forever lost in my self made prison of fear and inaction. Deer in headlights worry about me.