[INFP] So what types are INFPs usually attracted to?

So what types are INFPs usually attracted to?

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This is a discussion on So what types are INFPs usually attracted to? within the INFP Forum - The Idealists forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; I just wanted to know a bit about your love lives. What types were your exes? How did this affect ...

  1. #1

    So what types are INFPs usually attracted to?

    I just wanted to know a bit about your love lives. What types were your exes? How did this affect the relationship? What type is your current relationship (if applicable) and how does this affect the relationship? Are you dating anyone? What type are they and what chance do they have?

    I just wanted to see if there were any similarities in the people we tend to be attracted to.
    FaveteLinguis thanked this post.

  2. #2
    INFP - The Idealists

    I really like girls who are beautiful in an unconventional or unique way. I like girls who are reserved, perhaps unsure of themselves, and who may be unique, perhaps strange, and definitely thoughtful and imaginative.

    I've always felt that we are most attracted to people who we see a part of ourselves in.

  3. #3

    I think my exes were an ESFP (not completely sure) and an INTJ (pretty sure). Currently I'm dating an INTP.

    The ESFP (if that's what he was) was a lot of fun to be around, and I felt comfortable with him, but I didn't feel like we were ever really on the same page with a lot of things, like he couldn't really understand me. My family liked him though, because he was very outgoing and friendly.

    With the INTJ, I felt like he could understand me in certain special ways, but he was just a jerk a lot of the time (which I didn't realize until later). He would complain that he didn't know how feelings worked or how to deal with them, and then get frustrated because he couldn't -logic- my bad emotions into good ones. He also never apologized or admitted to being wrong (also didn't realize this until later).

    The INTP is okay... He can't really make sense of my emotions either and doesn't know how to handle them, but he... sort of tries, at least.
    Seamaid, Aelthwyn, Ray J and 3 others thanked this post.

  4. #4

    Geez guys I know you're private people but come on. I'll start then.

    My first crush was an ISFJ or an ESFJ, I'm not sure but I'm leaning toward the I. The S and J have gotten in our way and we're just friends now but even that's taking some work.

    My only ex is an INFP but he was abusive. I might go into details later but he was not a healthy person emotionally and felt the need to control me in every way.

    I'm currently going out with a far more emotionally stable INFP. It's going okay so far.

    So I guess the bottom line is that I'm attracted to other INFPs.
    Aelthwyn, bws and Sangmu thanked this post.

  5. #5
    INFP - The Idealists

    My most meaningful attractions/relationships have been with two suspected ENTPs (one might be ENFP) and two suspected INFPs (one might be INFJ). I also think I could be quite attracted to an INTP or an INTJ although I haven't known any very well.

    I like NTs because they have a great combination of pragmatism and imagination. The two ENTPs I mentioned are wonderful people--kind, highly intelligent and thoughtful, while having a kind of adorable wacky energy. They bring me out of my shell.

    The INFPs I have had an enormous amount in common with and sort of a soul connection, much more so than with the ENTPs, but I don't think I could spend my life with most INFPs because we would withdraw too much into one another and it would just be too emotionally intense.
    littlewren and Sangmu thanked this post.

  6. #6

    Quote Originally Posted by KateMarie999 View Post
    So I guess the bottom line is that I'm attracted to other INFPs.
    I don't know if I can say I'm attracted to INFPs, personally. I kind of like being able to be blunt without hurting anyone's feelings sometimes. (I guess some INTJ-ness rubbed off on me X|)
    ethylester thanked this post.

  7. #7

    I like a guy who understands and respects my needs, like my need for alone time and my need to feel things. And also someone who isn't going to make me clean up!! The N vs the S is debatable but I've had some issues with Sensors so I'd like to play it safe.

  8. #8
    INFP - The Idealists

    Necessary disclaimer-people can be compatible with any type, because we are all humans, and much more than 4 letters. Even "unlikely matches" can prosper together, as long as they love each other and strive to understand each other's preferences, differences, and values.

    The only person that may qualify as an ex was maybe INTJ, but to be honest, to this day her personality is a puzzle to me. The I and J are the most surething about her, but she might have been stressed, so who knows. She could have been F too, but she had a hard time showing feelings (which can happen even to us, though). She could have been ST too, but there's a side to her that pretends to get what she wants, along with very humane and kind values (it's her pretending and insincerity that I dislike about her, not her good side and values-she's a very good person, but now I see how incompatible we were, regardless her true, unknown personality.)

    I have learned that I prefer NFs, much like you mentioned on another thread. Once I was almost close to meet an INFJ that was so kind and sweet AND genuine, and it was one of the happiest moments in my life. It was quite platonic in the end, but she ended up being the first person that I felt in my heart felt real love for me-the first time I felt loved by a lady (true story, I THINK nobody had loved me before that! And that was last year too!) So I would say I am easily attracted to kind and genuine, "healthy" NFs (although I don't mind helping them be better, nor am I looking for a perfect person, because I am not perfect myself.)

    After the above situation with that kind INFJ, I kind of lost interest in dating, but I am now sure of what I am looking for in a romantic partner, regardless personality (it just so happens that NFs will usually have the things I love in people, and even more as a possible partner.)

    All personality types are beautiful on their own, though. The important thing is that the person is "healthy", and accepts you as the individual you are ("flaws" and all), and the same applies to us as potential mates.
    OrangeAppled, refugee, ImminentThunder and 4 others thanked this post.

  9. #9
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    My one ex is an ENFJ.

    I really liked how he was so put together. He was very grounded and realistic, which balanced me out. I also feel like he really understood me, as much as anyone can. He had a real problem with my lack of communication skills, since he always wanted me to verbalise myself, even if he already knew how I felt.
    There were times though when we weren't on the same page. He didn't understand some of my values or "morals" which did lead to some issues. He was always really honest with me, which was good except when I took it too personally And then there were the times where he did stuff that didn't make sense to me and hurt me, but I knew it wasn't intentional.
    OrangeAppled, RustyChameleon and SugaSkull thanked this post.

  10. #10
    INFJ - The Protectors

    I dated an ExFP. We got along very well and the conversation was very easy, but it didn't work out in the end. He was really extroverted and at times it was like he forgot I was there, but I was still too shy and reserved and never really opened up to him. That was my first relationship, though, so it was nice practice.

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