[Smiling Aria]

I can totally relate. I know how hard the whole relationship game can get for us INs, but changing how you naturally behave is absolutely not the way to go, you'd only attract the wrong kind of people. It might've been easier for you if you were interested in guys, as introversion is a major turn off for most girls. Most, but not all... you'll know it when you meet a fellow INP :) When you do, you won't need that extraverted provocative facade.

And


is just a lame overused excuse. If they were really attracted to you they wouldn't give a damn about ruining the friendship.

lol I feel like a minority XD lesbian INFP. I wasn't aware women didn't like introversion. o.o I refuse to pretend to be somebody I'm not, I agree with you very strongly.
And about the friends thing.. also strongly agree. If they felt the same they wouldn't say that about the friendship... they'd be willing to sacrifice in order to gain something higher. I prefer "Not interested" lol Closure and being to the point with what one wants is nice.

[Olivia]

I can really relate to what you wrote. I think that the first time I felt unrequited love I was 6 and it's been a constant throughout my life. I wonder if it's "bad luck" or a subconscious choice of unattainable/uninterested potential lovers.

I've always suspected with me it's the 2nd one. Fear of intimacy or fear that a relationship won't live up to the ideal in my head.

[Autumn Raven]

To use the excuse "I don't want to ruin our friendship" is beyond silly. I have found that, (observed from a distance, rather) the best relationships are those based upon friendship. What I seek most of all in a partner is a companion.
The rest just comes with the territory, and can develop as you grow, together.

Thus far, my experience with relationships (which isn't very much) has left me a little discouraged. But I've still found the will to be hopeful. I am a romantic mind, and I spend much of my time daydreaming-
That's as much of a relationship as I need so long as my love remains unrequited.

[Rune]

I suddenly realize I might be too good of a friend to the guy I love. DAMMIT. xD

This means I've probably been subconsciously friend-zoning myself without realizing it. Damn.. :(
And also, this means I subconsciously enjoy the freedom of being single while fantasizing about being with someone that I love..

Technically I love "everyone". I've never met an enemy.. but.. there is always one person I admire and hyper focus on in my Life..

[Traum]

I am pretty sure no one's ever liked me like that, ever.

To be honest, I am fine with that. I know I'll find someone when the time comes. I am still a baby.

I do get crushes or what have you, but they've never liked me back.

From a feeling point, it sucks, but from a logical point, I'm glad they didn't, because they weren't my type (and I'm still a baby ).

[fretterfet]

Nobody I've ever had truly intense feelings for knew/reciprocated, but I've gotten into this awful habit of falling into relationships simply because I feel extremely guilty if I friendzone someone.

As bad as it is to be in the friendzone, I think it's probably worse to be dating someone who doesn't actually like you that way, but found it too painful to outright reject you. :/ Unfortunately I keep thinking, "well maybe if I just give him a chance, it'll turn out great!"

[crazypenguin26]

To use the excuse "I don't want to ruin our friendship" is beyond silly. I have found that, (observed from a distance, rather) the best relationships are those based upon friendship. What I seek most of all in a partner is a companion.
The rest just comes with the territory, and can develop as you grow, together.

I agree. I used this excuse with my best guy friend in highschool. Then 2 years later he asked me out again and I figured I might as well give it a shot and by that point we really were good enough friends that if it didn't work we would have got over it and stayed friends. Now 3 years later we are still together and have definitely done a lot of the growing together thing. :)

[saintmelmonie]

...
I'd like to know if other INFPs have this in common: I'm rarely ever approached (romantically or sexually) or hit on by anybody except by older men and older men who want to cheat on their wives (no joke) as well as people who seem to be incredibly egotistical and look at me as something they'd like to control or take advantage of because I seem like such a pushover.

I have the same problem. I am perpetually single. I find it interesting that you mentioned that you don't have a provocative side, I don't either and my current theory is that most young people are looking for short term flings and due to this they look for provocative people. Being intelligent and nice are more likely to be characteristics people look for in a long term relationship and most people just aren't ready for that.

This seriously made me cry, lol. I recently had my one of my best friends of 10 years decide that he loved me, only for it to be revealed that he only wanted to use me for sex, so much that he actually tried to get me to convert to a different value system just so we could get it on as soon as possible. Before him, the only men who would approach me were far older or just like him. I think my "friend" was probably the worst as we were supposed to be so close. It was pretty devastating to how I feel about myself. These two posts just help me to see how it's not me, nor us INFPs, but a culture that has propelled sex above all else.

Anyway, I've been taking comfort in Song of Songs 2:7 "I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or the does of the field, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases." It makes me feel like love WILL happen for me even if it takes time.

[redhotchips]

This seriously made me cry, lol. I recently had my one of my best friends of 10 years decide that he loved me, only for it to be revealed that he only wanted to use me for sex, so much that he actually tried to get me to convert to a different value system just so we could get it on as soon as possible. Before him, the only men who would approach me were far older or just like him. I think my "friend" was probably the worst as we were supposed to be so close. It was pretty devastating to how I feel about myself. These two posts just help me to see how it's not me, nor us INFPs, but a culture that has propelled sex above all else.

Anyway, I've been taking comfort in Song of Songs 2:7 "I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or the does of the field, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases." It makes me feel like love WILL happen for me even if it takes time.

Great verse saintmel.

Fwiw, I've experienced the flip side of stirring up or awakening love early, and it still won't work anyway, it will just cause so much heartache. (But then again, heartache is how a person grows, we're too stubborn otherwise.) If God doesn't have it planned that way, there's nothing I can do to try to force it. Best to do it God's way and timing, plus He knows what's best for us in the grand scheme of things.

[redhotchips]

PerC site hiccup, double post...