Hey there my fiends. i was pondering if you could provide some non-judgemental sorting of my thoughts. hahaha i haven't expressed these things to anybody and i'm really trying to figure myself out. i don't know what i want/ i suppose i'd like your thoughts. and advice. ok here i go. . . should i?. . . meh, i've written this much so far- why not?
so as some of you may possibly know i'm a sophomore in highschool, 16 years old. and i have some sort of a freudian daddy issue complex which makes me only attracted to older men. like 28-ish and up. lol I'M SO WEIRD! anyways i have this slight crush on my teacher(he's like late 20's) and ik it's wicked bratty and chiche and stupid and whatever but i swear to god if he were a student i'd think he liked me back. ik you're thinking, "Ohhh how cute!" or "Ohhh, how nauseating!" But hear me out! i have proof!
--THE FOLLOWING NUMBERS ARE USELESS. JUST "PROOF"--
1. so a week or two ago we had to do class in an actual class room(normally in the gym. . .obviously) and he was showing the class different muscles and he kept using me as an example (touching me lightly too). i kept catching him glance at me. he was joking around with me alot. i was reading his body language and all of the signs he was giving definitely signify that he would have been interested in me
2. he always always teases me in class and trys to help me out with everything(weight lifting mostly). and ik he does that to the girls who are bad at gym and don't like to do stuff but i actually try in gym class.
3. he asked me to manage a team for him. he said "plus you'd get to spend a lot more time with me" and i said jokingly "I geuss that's do-able" and he looked kind of sad after that lol
4. whenever i'm absent he asks my friend about me
5. He always makes eyecontact with me and talks to me a lot.
Which brings me to my issue
the other day i was with my friend and she wanted to buy something that was a dollar and i didn't have any money on me, and i didn't have any. so i saw him and was like "He'll give us money!" and i didn't actually think he would but i went up to him and said "Hey mr...., do you perhaps have a dollar on you that you'd be willing to give to me?" and i'm giving my dramatic fake flirty face. and he's thinkin then i go "Cuz you love me so much and i'm tottaly your favorite." and he smirks, rubs his neck and says "It's not a matter of love it's weather or not i have the dollar." and he took us to his office, strangely enough only talking to my friend nervusly, handing me the dollar and of course i'm like 'Ohmygod thank you so much! you're amazing!" he looks kinda nervus and doesn't make eye contact and says "no problem have a good weekend!" and scuttles off. - - it seems as though whenever i'm outside of the classroom he doesn't like me much.
what do i make of this? and also what should i do in general? do you think he likes me? should i just push all of it off even though i kind of like him? or is it totally harmless if i like him because there's no way he likes me? tell me your thoughts!