[INFP] Having children - a selfish decision in today's society - Page 10

Having children - a selfish decision in today's society

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This is a discussion on Having children - a selfish decision in today's society within the INFP Forum - The Idealists forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; I've thought about this long and hard. Not nearly long and hard enough, though. My position right now? I live ...

  1. #91
    INFP - The Idealists

    I've thought about this long and hard. Not nearly long and hard enough, though.
    My position right now? I live in Canada, which is at replacement rate. We aren't overpopulated - Other countries are (China, India...)
    I don't feel, personally, that having a child of my own is really impacting the problem of overpopulation too much, because I know that my child will be cared for and have access to family planning, and it's unlikely that my kid will have 24 children of their own.
    Adopting helps. Not having children helps. But the root of the problem is in poor government care. It's been statistically proven that women who have access to education and family planning will marry later and have fewer children - Regardless of religious belief or cultural values.
    Note, fewer. For some, that might mean having three children instead of seven.
    I would be more worried about the environmental impact than the increasing population, personally, because I know that my country's population has reached a plateau.
    However,
    My country consumes far more resources than "less developed countries". More resources per person.
    I wouldn't feel bad for having a kid, but I would put a HUGE stress on the importance of sustainable living. Preach it to my child so that their carbon footprint is always on their mind.

    In any case, I'm in no state to be a parent right now and won't be for many, many years.
    So, when the time comes, I'll have had plenty of time to decide whether it's worth it or not. xP Right now I have bigger fish to fry.
    mushr00m thanked this post.

  2. #92
    ISTP - The Mechanics

    Quote Originally Posted by mushr00m View Post
    Actually, this is by far becoming a popular phenomenon especially now where it is more common for women to 'put off' having a child. In fact the figures have doubled since 1990 which although our population has risen, there has been a pullback in births in favour of a number of reasons including wanting to pursue careers, deciding that there is too many people in the world - which is verifiable enough considering if the population is too high, we are at risk of jeopardising our own evolution so therefore it is completely natural to want to be childless.
    A cultural shift in thinking and what is acceptable, but in developing worlds the drive to have more kids is still there as a cultural bias...It's in the wesern world and some part of asia (japan) are declining having kids...But as mamalian animals, we are genetically disposed to having offspring. that's my point.

  3. #93
    INFP - The Idealists

    I feel all decisions, one way or the other, have some selfishness to it, directly or indirectly. That said, I feel it is important to be responsable about how you go about indulging in it and that not everyone is going to agree with your methods. I want kids because the work needed, whether world population reaches a downswing or not, won't be finished when I die and there needs to be someone to hand it off to. This planet crashes, I'd like to think some people here were smart enough to get their asses off this rock; fewer people means some niches still need to be filled to maintain technological progress. Love me, hate me, your choice.
    rednet2, mushr00m and SlightlyAddicted thanked this post.

  4. #94
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Hmm. This thread is a very different perspective for me. I think sometimes we don't consider that the greatest gift we could give to future generations is not the 'impact' we'll make at work, but the time we've given to other people, and especially the life we invest in a child. A child who came from a good, loving, supportive family is capable of so much! Raising a child well is HUGE work, hard work, a 24 hour thing. (I am at home with two young children right now, and every day it's a battle to teach them morals, and how to work hard and develop their creativity and problem solving abilities...).

    Go ahead and tell a mommy of a new-born that she is terribly selfish for giving up all her sleep for an entire year, being sucked on, loosing her job, loving that human being with all she is, and giving every last penny she has to that child's best chances at life, worrying night and day about how to protect them, grow them into a responsible human being, giving up social life, career prospects, her body, her pride to extend our civilization for one generation, and hopefully give this one child a fighting chance at making the world a better place. Yeah, that sounds really selfish to me!
    rednet2, mushr00m, SlightlyAddicted and 1 others thanked this post.

  5. #95
    INFP - The Idealists

    Quote Originally Posted by Runvardh View Post
    I feel all decisions, one way or the other, have some selfishness to it, directly or indirectly. That said, I feel it is important to be responsable about how you go about indulging in it and that not everyone is going to agree with your methods. I want kids because the work needed, whether world population reaches a downswing or not, won't be finished when I die and there needs to be someone to hand it off to. This planet crashes, I'd like to think some people here were smart enough to get their asses off this rock; fewer people means some niches still need to be filled to maintain technological progress. Love me, hate me, your choice.
    This resonates with my beliefs. I think whatever thoughts are tied to the decision to have kids will be what tips the scale of selfishness/selflessness, not the actual act of procreation. I personally believe in reincarnation, so the thought of not having kids seems quite selfish to me when I imagine all those souls waiting for their chance to come back.

    And @Runvardh, I DO love you, but not by choice, I love you by understanding.

    Rejoice!

  6. #96
    INFP - The Idealists

    That said, I feel it is important to be responsable about how you go about indulging in it and that not everyone is going to agree with your methods. I want kids because the work needed, whether world population reaches a downswing or not, won't be finished when I die and there needs to be someone to hand it off to. This planet crashes, I'd like to think some people here were smart enough to get their asses off this rock; fewer people means some niches still need to be filled to maintain technological progress. Love me, hate me, your choice.
    I feel this way too. Also, u must have watched Idiocracy recently haha!

    Go ahead and tell a mommy of a new-born that she is terribly selfish for giving up all her sleep for an entire year, being sucked on, loosing her job, loving that human being with all she is, and giving every last penny she has to that child's best chances at life, worrying night and day about how to protect them, grow them into a responsible human being, giving up social life, career prospects, her body, her pride to extend our civilization for one generation, and hopefully give this one child a fighting chance at making the world a better place. Yeah, that sounds really selfish to me
    Parenthood is a curious thing isnt it?

  7. #97
    Unknown Personality


    This is something I've also thought about.

    I want to adopt, my reasoning for this is that there are already so many children that need loving parents, why can't I just adopt them instead of brining more children into the world? I think that I could love a child I had adopted just as much as a child I had given birth to. I know that I would like to experience what it is like to have a child genetically, but my reasoning for adopting seems to outway my need to have a child that is genetically mine. We are all one race, we are all one big family we should be taking care of each other. I wish I could adopt every child and give them a loving home.

    I don't think it's selfish to want a child. For most people it's a natural feeling, this need to bring another human into the world to nurture and to protect and to teach, a child has so much potential and brings so much happiness. If you have a child you have to become selfless, because they become your priority. I can understand that some might see it as selfish when considering how overly popuplated the world is, but if you look at it in the way I've just explained, it is also a sefless thing to do.
    mushr00m thanked this post.

  8. #98
    INFP - The Idealists

    Quote Originally Posted by CultofRowsdower View Post
    I feel this way too. Also, u must have watched Idiocracy recently haha!
    I watched it years ago. That said, it doesn't have to get that bad for the necessity to still exist.

  9. #99
    INFP - The Idealists

    When I was first dating someone that got serious enough to discuss marriage - I was pretty adamant that I did not want kids. However, the more we talked about it, I finally saw the possibility. Now, with 3 kids, I can honestly say it was the best decision I ever made. Take a look at this: TED Blog | 3 things I learned while my plane crashed: Ric Elias on TED.com

  10. #100
    INTJ - The Scientists

    My friends and I were talking about children the other day and we all agreed that it's ridiculous that you need a license to drive or own a gun, but people can just go and have kids whenever they want, when children are so vulnerable and susceptible.


 

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