[INFP:] Observer? Middleman? Peacemaker? Neutral?

**de l'eau salée** · 12-10-2008 10:26 PM

I'm wondering if any other INFPs can relate to me on this.

When it comes to people, and the arguments that come with them, do you ever feel like you're always neutral on things? Or like you're always the one trying to make friends become friends with their ex-friends again? Do you ever feel like you're stuck in between two decisions, but don't want to make the decision?

**cryptonia** · 12-10-2008 10:39 PM

*observer here* (that's usually an INTP description, I think)

middleman or peacemaker might be good descriptions, too, but I still tend to put ENFPs in that slot more. I suppose that's what the introverted NFPs would do when they're around people too, though.

**de l'eau salée** · 12-10-2008 10:42 PM

Originally Posted by cryptonia

*observer here* (that's usually an INTP description, I think)

middleman or peacemaker might be good descriptions, too, but I still tend to put ENFPs in that slot more. I suppose that's what the introverted NFPs would do when they're around people too, though.

Haha yay, go observers! :)
Yeah, I am definitely a peacemaker/middleman in my friendships, and while I like keeping all of my friendships, I sometimes feel like I'm not being a good enough friend to either of them. Don't get me wrong, I don't think I'd change the way I am on this, but the saying "friends will be by your side in good and bad," or whatever the saying is, kinda makes me wonder if I'm that good of a friend.

**Spooky** · 12-10-2008 10:44 PM

I'm really indecisive. When it comes to arguments, I don't really care who is right or who is wrong. I'll just state my opinion and leave it at that. I've also noticed that other people seem to be really competetive when it comes to games. I'm an emotional person, but I never get emotional over a stupid game. I've had people knock all of the pieces off the board during a game of RISK when they are about to lose. I was playing my cousin in chess the other day and he lost 4 games in a row and was getting visibly distraught. When I lose a game, it literally has no impact on me. I don't care if I lose; it doesn't diminish my self-esteem in any way. And it's not just guys. I was playing a girl in chess and she could not handle the fact that I was beating her; and then she quit playing right before I got her in checkmate so that she couldn't actually say that she lost. How childish is that?

**de l'eau salée** · 12-10-2008 10:47 PM

Originally Posted by Beloved

I'm really indecisive. When it comes to arguments, I don't really care who is right or who is wrong. I'll just state my opinion and leave it at that. I've also noticed that other people seem to be really competetive when it comes to games. I'm an emotional person, but I never get emotional over a stupid game. I've had people knock all of the pieces off the board during a game of RISK when they are about to lose. I was playing my cousin in chess the other day and he lost 4 games in a row and was getting visibly distraught. When I lose a game, it literally has no impact on me. I don't care if I lose; it doesn't diminish my self-esteem in any way. And it's not just guys. I was playing a girl in chess and she could not handle the fact that I was beating her; and then she quit playing right before I got her in checkmate so that she couldn't actually say that she lost. How childish is that?

Haha, yeah, I'm the same way for arguments. Even if someone is "wrong" in my eyes, though, I won't stop being their friend unless it was something really serious or if it was directed at me.
Haha, that's funny, I used to have issues with constantly losing games. However, it was never when it was against a person, or if it was against a person, it was only because they were taunting me or whatever. I used to get really pissed when I kept losing video games. I guess it was because I knew they didn't have feelings and I could get mad at them haha.

**Spooky** · 12-10-2008 10:54 PM

Originally Posted by Selvagem

Haha, yeah, I'm the same way for arguments. Even if someone is "wrong" in my eyes, though, I won't stop being their friend unless it was something really serious or if it was directed at me.
Haha, that's funny, I used to have issues with constantly losing games. However, it was never when it was against a person, or if it was against a person, it was only because they were taunting me or whatever. I used to get really pissed when I kept losing video games. I guess it was because I knew they didn't have feelings and I could get mad at them haha.

It's funny you mention that. I don't get emotional over games anymore, but when Super Mario Bro's first came out for Nintendo, I would get so mad that I couldn't beat King Koopa's Castle and I would start yelling and screaming every expletive that I knew, one after another. When I played Duck Hunt, I would get like 2 inches away from the screen and try to shoot that stupid dog that always laughed at me. I seriously had some anger issues growing up.

**snail** · 12-11-2008 12:29 AM

I don't care about games either. I never get upset because I'm not competitive.

Yes, I find that I am often a peacemaker.

**Nightwine** · 12-13-2008 05:21 AM

*another observer* Oh jeese, Beloved, I thought everyone tried shooting that damn dog

And as for swearing at video games, well...

How is neutral, observer, peacemaker being used here? Am curious. What is it that you are actually doing, the actions (or intentional inactions) that you are taking?

As an INFJ, I've found if the conflict isn't heated enough to drive me away, I end up working as translator. I'm curious how our middleman styles might be similar or different.