[Blue Butterfly]

How to Respond to an Adult Bully


How to Respond to an Adult Bully - wikiHow




Often people have the idea that "bullying" is something which only occurs amongst some children until eventually they grow out of this behaviour. But - unfortunately - this isn't always true. Adults can be just as capable of employing bullying tactics as any young child or teenager. If you suspect either yourself or anyone else you know is on the receiving end of bullying from an adult, here are some suggestions on how to respond to them.

[edit] Steps

1. Remember that this is not your fault. If you've been on the receiving end of bullying treatment from an adult for some time it's possible that you will be blaming yourself for how this person has reacted to you. However this is not true. Everyone is responsible for how they choose to treat others, and a bully is no exception.
2. Resist the temptation to say or do something nasty back. This can be a lot easier said than done. Particularly if the bully has aroused strong feelings of anger in you. However, a reaction such as this will only prove to the bully that he/she has succeeded in getting to you - which is what they want. Bullies feed off negative emotions, because deep down in some way they feel inferior/insecure about themselves and it's only by making others feel bad that they can raise their self esteem. Reacting to a bully in this kind of way is likely to only further encourage and possibly worsen their unwanted behaviour towards you.
3. See if killing them with kindness helps. This doesn't always work. But in circumstances when you've not long known the bully (such as if for example you've just been introduced to them at work) it can. Often what inspires a bully to be nasty towards others is an assumption that their target is a threat towards them in some way, as well as an experience of a lack of kindness from others throughout their lives. By demonstrating that you don't intend harm towards them and are willing to be friendly, this can encourage more positive responses from them. This might be anything from a friendly good morning 'hello' to an offer of help with something. However, if after trying this 2-3 times they still continue with their behaviour cease this approach. This won't work on every bully, and being nice to them every time they choose to bully you is likely to send the message you are rewarding their behaviour/find it acceptable.
4. Try assertive responses against the bully . Examples of this could include assertive body language (looking the bully firmly in the eye while standing straight), an assertive tone of voice (clear and firm without sounding threatening) and assertive choice of words such as "I've recently noticed signs that you are trying to bully me and want this behaviour to stop." That said, choosing an appropriate assertive behaviour will - to a certain extent - be dependent on the specific bullying situation. What might be effective in a work bullying situation might not work so well in a family or cyber bullying situation. See the related wikihow article on being assertive to get a few ideas.
5. If all else fails, consider enlisting somebody's help. This might be a trusted colleague or supervisor (if it's a work bullying situation) or a family relative or friend (if it's a family bullying situation. Speaking to your doctor is also an option, if you feel the situation is heavily impacting upon your physical and/or mental health.

[Blue Butterfly]

How to Make a Bully Bored

How to Make a Bully Bored - wikiHow

Lets face it - when it comes to bullies, there is always a reason lying behind why they are so aggressive. There are many excuses behind it all, and many of those excuses are sad as well. Some reasons maybe be depression, feeling unpopular, wanting attention, thinking they're better than you and so much more. But the truth is, they want you to be angry, embarrassed, hurt, and sad. Read this article to teach you how to deal with their behavior.

[edit] Steps

1. Be certain that the bully is picking on you. Try to avoid them; go to a spot where they'd like to remain out of sight. If they follow you and float around until you enter "bully grounds", then you'll know that they're picking on you.
2. Take a friend with you everywhere. Make sure you're never alone. Start talking to your friend when you see the bully is near, and make it look like you're fully engrossed in the conversation.
3. Look the bully in the eye. Doing this shows that you're confident, and are laughing at them inside yourself. If you give a certain look, they might back down.
4. Never retaliate! If you do say anything, the bully will tend to use this against you and make you look like the bad seed. And besides, you could end up with a black eye.
5. Continue avoiding the bully and tell a trusted adult. Eventually, the bully may get bored and find another victim. However, this technique doesn't always work. The best thing to do is tell a trusted adult. Don't be afraid that the bully might call you a "snitch" for "ratting" him out. It's not right for anyone to feel humiliated or uncomfortable.
6. Complain to the authorities. In some countries, bullying can be considered an offense. Go to the nearest police station and ask for information. Don't be afraid to file a formal complaint. Understand that, if you are being bullied, you have the right to complain to the authorities, without feeling guilty.

[edit] Tips

• Don't back down, stand your ground!
• Don't give them any pleasure by showing your hurt.
• Always look them straight in the eye.
• Fight fire with kindness, smile at them and make them feel horrible about themselves.
• Avoid them by any means necessary.
• Try not to make yourself a bully target in the first place. Bullies usually go after the "social outcast", because they're almost certain nobody will object if they insult them.
• If they are physically hurting you tell an adult immediately! Don't feel stupid about it because if they continue to bully through their life they can end up as a criminal doing much worse things like killing people or stealing from a bank and the world surely doesn't need any more criminals.
• If you do decide you want to retaliate, you first want to be sure that he/she is the kind of bully that is "all talk and no walk" or in other words, they say this and say that, but they haven't thrown a real punch in their life. If this bully is fully willing to give you a black eye, ignore everything I'm about to say.
• The best way to do this is coolly, calmly, and make sure you embarrass them, not just insult them. A simple way is to challenge them (not to a fight, but to a race, or a game) and make sure you win. They will almost certainly leave you alone after that. Also, very witty responses to their insults are very effective, especially if they are very intellectual (you know, require some thought and have some big words). For example, one that I have actually used is *Bully*: "How come you're only in my gym class? Are you only in retarded classes or something?" *snicker snicker* *Me*: "No, I'm in the upper echelon of classes, which of course your intellect is incapable of reaching." This will cause the bully and most of his friends to look at you in confusion, while the one or two smart ones are thinking "Oh, he just got burned" and will later explain it to the bully, who will leave you alone for fear of it happening again. If it must come to a fight the best way to take him out fast is a strong punch to the nose. This will stun him and give you the chance to escape.

[edit] Warnings

• Do not make rude comments, jokes, or rumors of any sort. It will hurt you in the long run!
• Many bullies trap their victim in the bathroom, as people usually go alone. Make it a habit to go when the bathroom's busy, or go in groups.
• If the bully is causing you severe harm (physical or otherwise), it is absolutely necessary to tell somebody about your problems. Remember, you're not alone.
• Report every crime when it is safe for you to do so, but understand that it is not easy to go through that process. Many police, parents, teachers, etc., believe that it is wrong to report crimes of children in a school setting. And you may have to listen to them. Be completely honest in reporting to adults. It is the best way to build trust with them.
• Understand self defense, but know its limits. It is protection from harm. Sometimes it is physical; sometimes it is running or evading a problem in other ways. Its purpose, when it is physical, is nothing more than to stop yourself from being physically hurt. Self-defense can sometimes incriminate you (make you seem like a criminal, which may require a judge to decide). You must decide whether or not to report the crime after you use self-defense.
• If you do report to an adult, be sure to report any self-defense that you used accurately, so that when they discover it later they will know that you are the law-abiding one rather than automatically thinking that you are a dishonest troublemaker.
• Most children consider it a form of self-defense to keep the crime or other abuse a secret. In some situations, it can be and should be carefully considered. However, more often secrecy is exactly the kind the bully prefers that you use.
• Keep in mind that somebody purposely touching you without your permission (or the permission of an adult who has true authority over you) may be a crime, even if the perpetrator is a child, and should be reported to an adult you trust unless it is so small that you give your permission after the act.
• If your parent (or another adult) is the bully, it is more complicated to report it because they have a lot of power over you. If it could be illegal touching (such as physical beating or sexual touching) then report it to an adult who you trust.
• Report emergencies such as very recent crimes that involve an immediate threat to health, life, or property when there has not yet been any competent adult intervention by calling 9-1-1 as quickly as possible. Report crimes with no current threat or when you can reach them faster than police, to a teacher, principal, nurse, counselor, your parents, and let one of them help you report it to police.
• Assert yourself with adults (and bullies) who think that children should be ignored, but realize that all adults are not supportive of children reporting crimes. Reporting makes you heard, and creates a paper trail that give evidence that you are law abiding (and not a trouble maker). Will bullies not like this? Of course they will not like it. Do not give in to their psychological pressure. Reporting to authorities will eventually create a wall of support around you that is hard to beat.

[Marino]

Maybe you should just make one Bully thread?

[Perseus]

If all these techniques fail to work ???

Excellent ***** anyrate.

[Rogue Eagle]

schoolyard bullies were so much easier to deal with.

[0,1,1,2,3,5,8,13,21,34]

If your being bullied your probably already a social outcast, which means people think your wierd. My strategy is to turn that into a scary-weird. Make people think your a little insane, make the bullies think your more than just a little insane. Make the bullies think you enjoy their torture, laugh when it happens. It's lots of fun to screw with people like this too. XD

[Rogue Eagle]

If your being bullied your probably already a social outcast, which means people think your wierd. My strategy is to turn that into a scary-weird. Make people think your a little insane, make the bullies think your more than just a little insane. Make the bullies think you enjoy their torture, laugh when it happens. It's lots of fun to screw with people like this too. XD

you're my new favourite person.

[OrangeAppled]

I don't have a problem with bullies, and never have. They are looking for a reaction, so don't give them one. If you just stare at them very blankly they get creeped out and leave you alone. It's no fun for them, so they move on to someone more reactionary.

You can also shame them, ie. say stuff like: "Why would you say something so rude?", followed by the same glare mentioned above. Most of the time the get embarrassed and back off. Don't try and be witty and insult then back because then they think you are playing and they will continue it.

[Tkae]

Being raised on a farm taught me how to deal with bullies the most efficient way:

[Blue Butterfly]

Tkae, I claim you as my new best friend. Can I use your tazer?

Being raised on a farm taught me how to deal with bullies the most efficient way: