[FleetFox]

Over the past couple of weeks I've started to doubt my type (INFP). From bouncing around on this forum I know it is not uncommon for any type to feel this way, and it seems INFPs are no different. My feelings behind this are different than usual, as I can ordinarily rationalize why I "feel like a different type today". But I no longer act or feel like an INFP.. I am doing things opposite of what an INFP is "supposed" to do. Now I know that every person is different, and that just because someone is typed as a certain MBTI type doesnt mean they all act the same and certainly doesnt mean they have the same beliefs. But no matter how you slice it - I am not acting according to how I feel I normally would. I've heard that stress on INFPs (and probably every type, though I'm not totally sure) would make them act outside of themselves or their normal character. This has been going on for quite sometime now and I am wondering if it is either that I am no longer INFP or idk what else?? I have heard that Enneagram type never changes, but that your Myers-Briggs type can change. Is it possible that my type has changed? Am I "simply" going through a hard time? (then it must be much harder than usual, as I always feel under pressure). I'll describe some things which are very personal. These are things I wouldnt say aloud to friends, and I have a hard time admitting them to myself even. But I feel that I am in no other position than to display my faults and get honest opinions. I'm not proud of these things, and... that's all i suppose...




I have been drinking more often than I used to, but not uncontrollably. On the weekends and going out with friends. I go to university so it is not uncommon for kids to drink. But it seems that I can not concentrate on school work or even find initiative to do it (not because of drinking, but when I'm sober). I was always a procrastinator and impatient with school work, but at this point in time I dont know why I cant just take it seriously since it is more important than ever.
I got a DUI ::ashamed::*
I never wanted to be that person. The person who I always grew up being told was "stupid" or "an idiot", and thats a person who drinks and drives. After that all I can feel is ashamed and I don't know how to bounce back. I dont want to believe that I was capable of making such bad decisions--- but I guess I am. And just before the DUI I had an "anger" incident where I put my hand through my car window after an argument and cut my arm. I now have a large gash in my arm and all I can feel is embarrassed when people see it. I'm always afraid that they think I'm a cutter or something. Because of this incident I also sustained nerve damage and only have limited feeling in my forearm above the scar to my hand. I also feel like I want to become violent with people if I think they are purposefully singleing me out or making fun of me, the problem being that I think everyone is secretly having a joke about me behind my back. I got into a fight this past year with a kid my age, my only fight ever. Afterwards I regret it everyday.

This is not easy to say, and its personal i know. I'm not doing this for pity, but to explain these things that have happened because of me and how they make or made me feel. In doing this I hope that it best conveys my point of view. The last thing I want is someone to feel sorry for me, because I don't deserve it. I do hope there are some other INFPs who can shed some guidance because I don't have other people to turn to. I want to know why these things are happening to me, or rather, why I am making these things happen to me. I'm confused and unhappy. I do things that I don't condone, and that I would perceive as wrong. I feel as though I am living as my own worst enemy, doing things beyond what I would consider bad of character. It's beyond hypocritical. Why do I make decisions opposite of what I consider the right thing to do? Ugh.

[snail]

We can get really warped under stress.

[dragoon84]

I know one other INFP, at least confirmed by the test. I've always been uber comfortable discussing anything with them. Be it superficial stuff or deep thoughts.

[Blue Butterfly]

I have known other people that have scored as an INFP acted more like other types. So I have learned to watch how they talk before I let my guard down around them.

[FleetFox]

It's a strange thing. My conscience feels... INFP. But I am acting out in different ways than what I "want" to do. I'm not a violent person, but it seems that I feel more angry than usual. Usually if I feel stress I feel upset more than anything, but not angry. I don't know, I'm still really confused by it. I might just be in a bad place place right now. I just transfered to a very large school. I used to go to a university about the size of my high school. So maybe this new, largely populated environment is draining me emotionally, mentally. Being that I disagree with a lot of college life, maybe being smothered and surrounded by it is taking its toll on me? REally just an analysis from my own point of view, so I'm not sure how true that might be. Maybe I'm struggling with living life the right way (in my eyes), versus the temptation of the life that I am curious to live.

[Blueguardian]

In my experience, an environment can have a significant effect on a persons mentality. I had to experience my ex-girlfriend change slowly into something I couldn't agree with, after she went into college. You may be having a struggle between trying to preserve yourself and finding your place in this new environment. Stress also could be a cause, when I get stressed I do things that, under normal circumstances I wouldn't do. They are different from yours, but I think that is to be expected.

For me, I like to paint a target (goal) in my mind. I visualize how to reach that target, and then proceed to try to conquer each task that presents itself (albeit I am in a rut myself in that area atm.) I may never reach the goal, but simply having the direction, makes it much easier to follow my personal code (ideals,morals, values, rules, etc) If you are having a hard time studying, remind yourself why you are there. It is a "necessary evil" (shudders) Run the possibility of failure to do your work. If failure takes you farther away from where you want to be, than don't fail. Okay well, maybe that could be out of your control, just don't give up so easily. As for punching the window... I don't recommend that. I have exerted physical frustration on objects before, but glass is one of those things you don't want to screw with... electrical circuits are another. Try to channel your anger and frustration into your work. It could provide extra motivation to get the job done.
I am sorry for the sloppy advice, I may bring more up at a later date if you need it still. I am going through a rough patch myself atm, and I feel somewhat hypocritical for giving advice on something that brushes onto things I myself need help with.

I will conclude though that... I don't believe what you have said so far is enough to suggest you are not INFP anymore. Just that you are under extreme stress, possibly from something you have no idea what it is, and you are attempting to release this frustration in any way you can.

[FleetFox]

In my experience, an environment can have a significant effect on a persons mentality. I had to experience my ex-girlfriend change slowly into something I couldn't agree with, after she went into college. You may be having a struggle between trying to preserve yourself and finding your place in this new environment. Stress also could be a cause, when I get stressed I do things that, under normal circumstances I wouldn't do. They are different from yours, but I think that is to be expected.

For me, I like to paint a target (goal) in my mind. I visualize how to reach that target, and then proceed to try to conquer each task that presents itself (albeit I am in a rut myself in that area atm.) I may never reach the goal, but simply having the direction, makes it much easier to follow my personal code (ideals,morals, values, rules, etc) If you are having a hard time studying, remind yourself why you are there. It is a "necessary evil" (shudders) Run the possibility of failure to do your work. If failure takes you farther away from where you want to be, than don't fail. Okay well, maybe that could be out of your control, just don't give up so easily. As for punching the window... I don't recommend that. I have exerted physical frustration on objects before, but glass is one of those things you don't want to screw with... electrical circuits are another. Try to channel your anger and frustration into your work. It could provide extra motivation to get the job done.
I am sorry for the sloppy advice, I may bring more up at a later date if you need it still. I am going through a rough patch myself atm, and I feel somewhat hypocritical for giving advice on something that brushes onto things I myself need help with.

I will conclude though that... I don't believe what you have said so far is enough to suggest you are not INFP anymore. Just that you are under extreme stress, possibly from something you have no idea what it is, and you are attempting to release this frustration in any way you can.

Wow, thank you so much. This is certainly the best advice I have received in a very long time.

What you say about having a goal does seem like a good way to focus myself. And as you said, just having a designated direction to where you want to go can help a lot. I guess I should just sort out my priorities and figure out exactly where it is I wish to go and do with my life. It is a confusing time in my life, and I think its going to take some soul searching (INFP hobby) to figure stuff out.

I really appreciate your advice. Especially since you are going through a hard time yourself, which I am sorry to hear. I guess it's never easy. But you seem like quite a smart and kind person and I'm sure whatever troubles you might be faced with, you can overcome them. I do not know of your troubles, but I hope and wish you well with your situation.

[char1es]

You're not uncomfortable with your own "kind".

You're just a fucking person.

In reality, you are uncomfortable with yourself.

Just appreciate what you have going for you and don't look back.

Now.

Now...

Now!